To be rather surprised at my parents with hindsight?

[ImaBridKid]

In 1990 I was 17 and was knocked off my bike by a motorist. It was low speed collision on a roundabout, I wasn't seriously injured not enough for a hospital appointment. However, I was shaken up with a painful bruised backside and had to have 2 days off work. The lady who knocked me over seemed a decent type, was also shaken up and had to have the day off work due to shock.
What surprises me is this - my parents were both university graduates with 'Top executive' level jobs. My mum was an abusive, alcoholic narcissist and my Dad her enabler.
I'm surprised that neither of them encouraged or helped me to put in a claim for compensation. After all, I was hurt although not really seriously and psychologically shaken up. I didn't know the first thing about claims when I was 17.
Maybe the claims culture wasn't so much a thing in 1990.Any opinions?

[Spidey66]

Compensation was not a big thing in 1990, not for that level of injury anyway. You didn’t even need medical advice so why did you need compensation?

Good grief. And you complain of your mum having narcissistic tendencies?

[butterpuffed]

I have moved on the sense that I'm not worried about this now

Of course you are otherwise what would be the point in doing a thread thirty years later ? Odd.

[midwestsummer]

OP I suspect your line of work has combined with genuine grievances against your patents to create a fictional parental grievance in this case.
It wouldn't have been a normal thing to do then and even now wouldn't be standard.

[Nottherealslimshady]

I hate the claim culture nowadays. Its just grabby. I once nearly lost my hand due to a nurses horrific mistake. Someone at the hospital told my mum she should sue the NHS she settled for a guarantee there would extra training for the kind of unique injury I had but wouldn't stick her hand out for money even though we were actually skint. I really respect her for it.

You didn't have any financial difficulty because of the accident and you didn't even have substantial injuries. Can you imagine if you could sue everyone that gives you a bruise.

[caperberries]

Compo was frowned upon and only considered appropriate for serious injuries, malpractice and injustice. Most people thought it was a crass American thing.

This remains my view to this day. And |'m younger than OP.
Ridiculous thread

[Spidey66]

That reminds me. I was hit by a cyclist 18 months ago. Had 13 stitches in a leg wound and a fortnight off work until the stitches came ou. I’ve still got the scars. I didn’t claim compensation for that, it was an accident, and I certainly would not claim for yours.

[WombatChocolate]

How very odd to be bringing this up now.

I'm assuming the issue really isn't about a compensation claim, but feeling upset about your parents in a broader sense and that you are just manifesting that upset through this particular (odd - as doesn't reflect badly on them at all) incident.

We don't know if your parents were crap or not. This incident doesn't show that. The fact you are posting tells us nothing about your parents but that you have issues.

Hope you get to work them through.

[midwestsummer]

Compensation definitely causes issues, when dc was born ten years ago we nearly lost them due to bad mistakes by staff.
Senior management visited but were more concerned about being sued than sensibly discussing what had gone wrong and how that could be prevented from happening again.
Midwife was in tears but she was the only person with enough nerve to apologize.
I didn't want to sue anyone but I did want an apology.

[Itisbetter]

Why can’t you ask the people you work with if there was grounds for a claim? Odd thread.

[BackforGood]

After working in the claims culture of more recent times - can't help thinking that nowadays certain people would submit a claim faster than you could say 'Jack Robinson'

This ^ is obviously the issue.
You are basing your thinking on the kind of ambulance chasing culture that you've worked in, not on what the population as a whole think.

There are many people who still understand that an accident is just that, in many circumstances, and just feel relieved everyone was okay, when things could have been a lot worse.

My 17 yr old got hit by a car a few years ago. Never crossed my mind for a minute we ought to chase anyone for a claim.

[OldLace]

Can I gently suggest that you have perhaps fixated on this incident as a way of dealing with the wider feeling of not being cared for / valued by people you describe as a narcissist and an enabler?

On the face of it, a claim for compensation in the circs you describe would not likely be worthwhile.
Exploring your wider feelings about your growing up years could be?

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

OP back in the 90s I don't think we lived in a claim culture. That's come from the States and become more and more apparent in recent years (by which I really mean post Millennium).

Mind you we scarcely think to claim on insurance even when we should have done.

It's a mind-set thing and not one I would advocate myself - thinking of everything in terms of payouts!

[Nanasueathome]

It’s 30years ago
You need to move on

[redwoodmazza]

I was knocked off my Vespa 90 scooter in 1974. A car pulled out of a row of parked vehicles along the kerb, where I was passing, without looking. I was taken to hospital and my left shin was stitched up [where the front of the scooter had bent round and cut into me].
I was sent home and next morning had a really badly swollen knee and trouble walking. I was sent for physiotherapy because they thought I might not be able to walk properly afterwards due to the impact on my knee.
Unfortunately, while undergoing that, my wound got infected and I had to have an operation to cut the flesh from my shin and have a skin graft. I was then in hospital for 2 weeks and was off work for 3 months in total.

I claimed compensation - not much tbh back then but enough for me to go halves with my Dad in buying a small car. I have never gone on 2 wheels since.

I kept my shin covered over for YEARS because I was so self conscious about my dented leg and scar. Couldn't give a fig now!!! I've now had it for longer than I haven't!!!

[Fluffybutter]

Huh??
Weirdest thread I’ve read on here and that’s saying something

[AreYouLocal2]

Ok OP, you've got your craved attention for today. Well done.

[RainMustFall]

springiscoming12
Wow, you win the most ridiculous thread of the week award

The week? More like the year!

50ish years ago I got knocked off of my bike at traffic lights when the car next to me turned left at a no left turn. I had grazing all down my arm and leg. Someone called the police and an ambulance. I was bandaged up and went on my way to work. Subsequently I was called as a witness and the driver was banned from driving. I hadn't really thought about it until I read this thread.

I don't get all this self absorbed navel gazing. What is the point of dragging up something that happened 30 years ago. Get on with your life and look to the future, not the past.

[HoppingPavlova]

YABVVVU.
This is also why being a parent these days is completely shit.
Completely entitled and dickhead kids through no fault of our own but due to rules imposed on parents and entitlements thrust into kids.

[HoppingPavlova]

*onto kids

[imsooverthisdrama]

- yes I know but I've worked for several years in low level car accident claims !! - which may put a different take on it!
There you go ,
I have a difficult relationship with one if my parents and some of the parenting wouldn't be done today not abuse nothing like that just that I was allowed to take days off school if wanted , I looked after my younger siblings a lot collected from childminder .
My younger dh was actually shot with a pellet gun when he was a kid and the police just got the other kid to apologise.
This was late 80s , my point is compensation claims weren't a thing like they are today and I can't blame my parents for things that happened 30 years ago especially things that weren't encouraged like compensation claims . I mean If your parents had never heard of that how do you expect them to file a claim?.
You are saying your parents are abusive I don't doubt that but don't dwell on things like this .

[Weallhavevalidopinions]

Is this a joke?

[BumbleBeee69]

Christ almighty... have you analysed every Tear you've ever shed, looking for way to sue people for financial gain, your entire adult life OP ?

[Jaxhog]

Because we weren't hell-bent on screwing something out of the system as encouraged by the leaches otherwise know as ambulance chasers. hen I've been in a couple of road accidents where I sustained minor injuries; claiming compensation never occurred to me. Back then, unless we were seriously injured, we got back up, dusted ourselves off and got on with life.

The compensation culture is the main reason car insurance is so high.

[trellishead]

If she was a narcissist and him the enabler (I understand this dynamic very well), then you'll already know that your father may have even brought the subject up to her and that it would have been shut down - that is, the subject of helping you and guiding you, which I guess this is about. Emotionally neglectful parents also keep out of these things if they can, they don't care enough to want to be involved.

[ElaineMarieBenes]

I worked in a legal practice in the 90s (specialised in negligence cases) and dealt with a lot of cases!

Firstly whose fault was the accident? Assuming you were not at fault and no contributory negligence then I would have aimed (on the scant information given) at maybe around £1000 - but rather than go to court I would have advised you to take anything over £500. Hardly live changing.