To feel my employer are suddenly discriminating because I have a young child?

[Tayo23]

I work for a government dpt where it is not usually commonplace to be able to work from home. On 19th/20th March when the schools closed, I was asked in work if this would impact me in regards to childcare - it does, and I was offered a laptop to work from home which I gratefully took.

At this point all my colleagues (except for a minority shielding or in similar positions) remained in the office every day as there were a lack of laptops for them - it was BAU. I worked remotely from home, with colleagues in the office uploading my (and other remote workers) work. A week later my office closed (a non-critical govt dpt) however I have continued to work from home since then although my colleagues without laptops were not working at all. My partner was furloughed a week or so after my office closed so has been a great help keeping 4yo entertained.

At the end of April my office advised those without laptops must return to the office one day a week on a rota basis to upload, (to maintain social distancing). I was not asked because it was understood I was working from home. Last week they provided everyone in my office (around 80 people) with laptops. I have now been told that because everyone else now has a laptop, I am now too required to work one day a week in the office, and spend the rest of the week working from home.

My partner returns to work next week. I now am in same position as end of March before lockdown re childcare. They are allowing me to take special leave for the one day a week I can’t come into the office, for 4 weeks. After then I have to use annual leave. I have repeatedly stressed I am willing to continue working each day from home. I just simply cannot leave my child at home alone. My partner is unable to get paid leave off and we would struggle without his pay.

AIBU to feel this way, they understood initially and accommodated me which I was extremely grateful for. I have worked each day whilst my colleagues barely have done until now, but now they too have the facilities to work from home, the goalposts have been moved.

I am not happy being told when to take AL when I have not asked for any time off. Do I have a leg to stand on here if I take this higher than my own line manager (who robotically regurgitates things without much compassion or consideration for people’s individual circumstances)

It’s not ‘time off’ if you’re willing to work but the office is shut and you haven’t been given the means to work from home.

Effectively it’s time off. I’m WFH and I’m accountable for my time every hour of every working day. In some departments Skype statuses are looked at to see who has been showing as ‘away’ too long.

OP’s colleagues have not been accountable, they could totally switch off so yes, I’m many ways it was time off.

Whilst I have sympathy for the colleagues who have to go in and the employers trying to manage the situation (badly), I look at my own, much larger employer, and know there that would be no question of OP being expected to come in this situation.

my colleagues have literally told me that they would rather be in the office than wfh

I would rather be in the office than wfh. I hate working from home.
But if someone told me I had to actually go back, but only to knock around in a mostly empty office, doing work that I don't normally do which didn't take that long so I then had to find things to occupy myself I wouldn't be that keen. A bit like many posters on MN who say that going to work is much easier than having to look after pre-schoolers at home - but given the choice they don't actually want to go to work.

So I'd take what your colleagues are saying with a pinch of salt.

Well you can argue the semantics as much as you like, but the fact is, the colleagues had no choice about not being able to work. That’s entirely different from choosing to not work.

I’ve got a feeling this will just go in circles (though the 75% plus who have voted the OP as unreasonable speaks volumes)

The fact is: the employer has to take everyone into account and all the possible issues they may be feeling. Just as a few examples:

• all employees (not just those with children) have the worry of getting to the office, perhaps using public transport, and handling office equipment on their day in

• the mental health of employees who were stuck at home with no laptop to get on with their job

• employees may feel pressured to do more in the office to pick up the slack for others

There are numerous other variables, all of which the employer needs to consider. They responded very quickly and appropriately to the OPs circumstances, and it seems like because the situation has now changed because wfh has had to be implemented for the long term, the OP is raking back over the last few weeks and niggling over things which she was quite happy to accept at the time.

the 75% plus who have voted the OP as unreasonable speaks volumes

I was surprised myself, especially on a forum which (quite rightly) expects support for working parents

But as I've said so often there really is only so much employers can give, and it's good to see so many recognise that

Well you can argue the semantics as much as you like

it's nothing to do with semantics.

there is a world of difference between a colleague saying to OP "oh it's so much better working in the office than it is at home" and what they are privately saying to management. I don't suppose OP is saying to her colleagues some of the things she is saying on this thread.

Redskyatnight- my post was in response to sharonascarona not yours! I completely agree with you!

@Caelano

aelano

Well you can argue the semantics as much as you like, but the fact is, the colleagues had no choice about not being able to work. That’s entirely different from choosing to not work.

But then OP also has a point. She is willing to go to work but is being expected to take AL because of her employers’ shortcomings (I.e.’it being able to upload work). And it really is a shortcoming, it’s the basic, very basic infrastructure.

It isn't discrimination and it isn't unfair.

It isn't your workplace's problem that you have trouble with childcare. Your children....your responsibility 🙄

Caleano

You’re surmising a lot of things that simply aren’t true. That I have sour grapes about my colleagues being off. Not true. That I’m ‘milking’ what my colleagues have told me. Not true. That it seems like I’m niggling over things I was happy to accept at the time. Again, not true.

Top and bottom of it is - I have no childcare for my child. I cannot leave him alone, therefore I cannot come into the office one day a week. It suited my employer perfectly that I wfh 5 days a week all this time, and it suits them that I (and everyone else) do this 4 days now (with obviously wfh being done 5 days as only 10 or less people in office on one day). Wfh is likely to continue for 6-12 months. I am perfectly willing to continue wfh 5 days, but they’ve said that’s not an option anymore. They initially provided me with a solution to having no childcare, and now they have removed it before the situation with childcare (nationally) has changed.

They’ve now suggested I take AL - I asked if I was being U being asked to take this when I was not asking for time off. It appears 76% think I am. I have said I will take AL.

Anything else you’re implying I’m unhappy with isn’t the case or what this thread was intended for.

Sorry, @RedskyAtnight I think my reply crossed with your post! I completely agree that just because in a group chat, colleagues say stuff like ‘god I hate wfh, I’d rather be in the office’ does not mean they would happily pick up the OPs office days as well as their own.

@Puzzledandpissedoff - re: the percentages of votes, I actually find it quite reassuring that on a forum used predominantly by women, and which is hugely supportive of women in the workplace, people feel able to call out ‘entitled’ behaviour when they see it. If the employer here were discriminating I’d be the first to say so. But they aren’t.

The fact is: the employer has to take everyone into account and all the possible issues they may be feeling. Just as a few examples:

Yes I realise that the employer thinks that asking everyone to come in to the office 1 day a week is their way of trying to treat everyone the same.

However, the very fast majority of people at my workplace who WFH 1 day per week (in non corona times) are permitted to dodo because they have child care or carer obligations. Do you think in that scenario everyone should be treated the same?

If OP were in private sector she could ask to be furloughed until end July and do no work and have at least 80% pay rather than use annual leave. Govt dept are not supposed to furlough as that would mean their Staff wages being state funded twice. But Govt dept should be offering same concessions to those with children as private sector is. The furlough scheme was extended to cover parents so they didn’t have to use annual leave. Govt depts can also move staff around to meet need. As a gov dept they could temporarily extend their special leave policy to cover situation where someone has to care for a relative because covid situation. Govt Dept should be an exemplar employer not leading the race to the bottom. why would gov set up scheme for those in OP situation in private sector but not apply the same principle to their own staff? If were following the guidance they would not be expecting parents with children who needed constant supervision to do their normal job at all. Let alone go into the office. OP needs to get union involved.

I completely agree that just because in a group chat, colleagues say stuff like ‘god I hate wfh, I’d I’d rather be in the office’ does not mean they would happily pick up the OPs office days as well as their own.*

And yet you think the reverse (her employers having taken into account everyone wishes that no one WFH 5 days per week, is possible, when you say ‘If others were actually preferring to go into the office you’d imagine they might have made that suggestion to the OP.‘

Somewhat contradictory, no?

SharonasCorona

It is a shortcoming that this system can’t be accessed at home yes - they’ve been bollocked for not planning all of this sooner. And it is a very very big government department that I work for (within it there are obviously lots of smaller departments). It always surprises me how badly it is run.

I actually find it quite reassuring that on a forum used predominantly by women, and which is hugely supportive of women in the workplace, people feel able to call out ‘entitled’ behaviour when they see it. If the employer here were discriminating I’d be the first to say so. But they aren’t.

I wouldn’t set too much store by the voting, AIBU voters are notorious for reading only OP and not all of the OP’s posts.

But Tayo, won’t you rapidly run out of AL?

I have taken some days annual leave to give me some Mondays off but long term this isn’t doable.

I actually really feel for you and in RL (off MN) no one would think you are unreasonable. MN is very odd sometimes to working women

It is a shortcoming that this system can’t be accessed at home yes - they’ve been bollocked for not planning all of this sooner. And it is a very very big government department that I work for (within it there are obviously lots of smaller departments). It always surprises me how badly it is run.

It’s very short sighted too. My employer has 30k staff and all would be able to do this. I assume it’s some type of VPN/SFTP type system that requires firewall access etc.

@Tayo23 I’m not making assumptions because I’m only referring to points you raised yourself.

You described your colleagues as having ‘time off’ (when they were forced to stay home but had no means to wfh like you’d been given.) You even asked why you can’t be given time off now like your colleagues had been given!

As many of us have said, treating people equitably does not mean treating them all the same. If it did, you’d have been having to still go into work when all your colleagues were rather than being given the adjustment of a laptop and being allowed to wfh. It therefore seems a bit disingenuous to claim that you should have ‘time off work’ like they did.

If it’s not sour grapes, why even bring up the fact that your colleagues had a period of time between the office closing and being given laptops? Surely it’s not relevant in terms of your situation. And as many of us keep saying, for all you know they could have been going up the wall. I know I would be if there was a job to be done, the office was shut and I hadn’t been given the means to wfh.

Finally, as you say you’re likely to be wfh for up to a year. You need to get some perspective on this... childcare will be available long before then. You’re talking about literally a few weeks most likely. Your employers are still making allowances- allowing you a month of special leave while everyone else is obliged to do a day per week in the office. This won’t even be an issue until July.

SharonasCorona

I imagine other departments within my employer probably are better run and do have access to these type of systems remotely. It’s just that my individual department seems to be a bit of a shitshow and very very poorly managed. Yes, it requires a much more secure server (and therefore higher security clearance) to be accessed. Not sure what information it is has on it that can’t be found on other programmes that can be accessed from home though!

Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow

Thank you. That’s the thing, obviously I have friends in work who completely understand where I was coming from with this and are genuinely fuming for me! But they work for the same department and we all band together and are close friends because how badly they manage us has united us all! So I realised they may have the same skewered perception I did. Hence this post for outside perspective which I’ve now had some of.

‘I wouldn’t set too much store by the voting, AIBU voters are notorious for reading only OP and not all of the OP’s posts’

Wonder if there’s any evidence for this statement. Sounds like a convenient opinion for when someone doesn’t agree with the vote.

But Tayo, won’t you rapidly run out of AL?

4 weeks unpaid. The AL split between, op and her dp.

How long do you think childcate is going to be closed?

Besides which, lots of people with or without kids, are having to use up their annual leave at the moment. Mainly because employers can afford to have everyone off at the same time.

Annual leave is to be used and can be dictated by your employer. Even the op gets that concept now.

@Caelano

Wonder if there’s any evidence for this statement. Sounds like a convenient opinion for when someone doesn’t agree with the vote.

Have you been on MN long? Two phrases for you. Cancel the cheque and RTFT!

Ah that’s a no then!

@Caelano why are you acting as if I was staying a fact? I said I wouldn’t set too much store by the voting, i didn’t say it was a fact. Notice you ignored all my other points. Hey ho.

Going against the grain here, I agree with you OP. You were working while others were not, so i would say you have 'banked' some additional days which puts you in a reasonable negotiating position when it comes to being given some flexibility now. The fact that your employer did not have enough laptops for everyone is their failing, not your problem, and tbh pretty unusual in the public sector who have been at the forefront of home working in order to save costs. I think you should talk seriously to one or two colleagues who genuinely want to go into work then approach your management to ask if they can cover your day. I would also question the approach of having multiple different employees coming into the office to do what sounds like an essentially administrative task? This is inefficient use of professional staff and certainly increases the risk of the virus spreading. Why not employ one or two administrators to do all the uploads? Run that past the finance people and they may suddenly decide they agree with you!