To feel my employer are suddenly discriminating because I have a young child?

[Tayo23]

I work for a government dpt where it is not usually commonplace to be able to work from home. On 19th/20th March when the schools closed, I was asked in work if this would impact me in regards to childcare - it does, and I was offered a laptop to work from home which I gratefully took.

At this point all my colleagues (except for a minority shielding or in similar positions) remained in the office every day as there were a lack of laptops for them - it was BAU. I worked remotely from home, with colleagues in the office uploading my (and other remote workers) work. A week later my office closed (a non-critical govt dpt) however I have continued to work from home since then although my colleagues without laptops were not working at all. My partner was furloughed a week or so after my office closed so has been a great help keeping 4yo entertained.

At the end of April my office advised those without laptops must return to the office one day a week on a rota basis to upload, (to maintain social distancing). I was not asked because it was understood I was working from home. Last week they provided everyone in my office (around 80 people) with laptops. I have now been told that because everyone else now has a laptop, I am now too required to work one day a week in the office, and spend the rest of the week working from home.

My partner returns to work next week. I now am in same position as end of March before lockdown re childcare. They are allowing me to take special leave for the one day a week I can’t come into the office, for 4 weeks. After then I have to use annual leave. I have repeatedly stressed I am willing to continue working each day from home. I just simply cannot leave my child at home alone. My partner is unable to get paid leave off and we would struggle without his pay.

AIBU to feel this way, they understood initially and accommodated me which I was extremely grateful for. I have worked each day whilst my colleagues barely have done until now, but now they too have the facilities to work from home, the goalposts have been moved.

I am not happy being told when to take AL when I have not asked for any time off. Do I have a leg to stand on here if I take this higher than my own line manager (who robotically regurgitates things without much compassion or consideration for people’s individual circumstances)

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

This is definitely not allowed. I was told I couldn’t even bring my son into the office for 5 minutes to collect the laptop because he doesn’t have security clearance! .

My MIL wants to help out as she usually does but she is over 70 and doesn’t feel safe yet. My own parents are working. We are really stuck for child care options during this time hence my situation. I realise I may have to take the annual leave, just seems unfair to me when I’m not asking for time off, I’m willing to do the much more complicated, stressful job at home 5 days instead of 4, as I have been for weeks. But hey ho. Wanted some outside perspective as my work friends are all fuming for me but obviously have the same opinions of our department that I do!

Do you have to go in on a weekday? Go in on a weekend when your partner is off, and do the half an hours work all in one go?

On the one hand I see your point. BJ made it very clear that employers should be understanding if employees can't come back because of childcare. On the other hand you have a partner who should probably take some responsibility here. One day a week seems manageable, you are covered for a month anyway and the nursery will probably reopen by July so you might be worrying about 2 or. 3 days.

Yes it's not ideal financially but you would have been worse off if his furlough had continued.

They aren’t discriminating, they have supported you but things need to be more structured for them. It’s one day a week, they have the right to ask you to take leave or you’ll need a sitter.

FelicityBeedle

Good idea!

If your employer is discriminating, then so is your DP's employer

Unfortunately I couldn’t go into the office on a weekend to do the uploading as the building is closed currently due to the measures in place. A member of management and the technical team also needs to be present so couldn’t just be me. It quite literally is copying and pasting the work sent in from home workers into the system to upload though.

DP has been solely responsible for DS during this time whilst I’ve been working all day. I have been very lucky with my own workplace and the fact that DP has been at home this time, although we are struggling financially with his furlough pay. He is now required back at work and we can’t afford to lose more money. I also feel the responsibility of childcare has been shared here already. I am going to have to massively adapt next week trying to juggle it all on my own. This isn’t a situation that’s ideal for anyone or that anyone has chosen to be in.

And yes DP’s workplace is definitely discriminating (about many things - another thread!) and he is looking elsewhere. They’re a small business though and not a government department.

If you can all upload from home then I don’t understand why any of you are going back into the office. Those who can wfh are supposed to continue to do so so public transport isn’t overloaded. I think they are being petty if no business need for you to be in. You need to join a union if you aren’t a member already. They should look at everyone’s situation individually. People can’t help that there is no childcare in a pandemic. I’m assuming you can’t be furloughed in a Govt dept? I think it’s just bad luck you got laptop first I don’t think it helps with current situation although should have bought you some goodwill. At my workplace single people living alone are volunteering to go in as they are bored at home so there’s been no need for anyone with kids to be made to go. Why can’t they ask for volunteers?

Basically, the ‘uploading’ system physically cannot be accessed from home for security reasons apparently. Makes no sense at all as the rest of the work containing all the data etc can! So in a nutshell, there must always be a skeleton staff in the office to upload in order for people to remotely work from home. It was never tested as a contingency plan prior to now, even though it should’ve been, and is still a WIP.

I’m sure if they asked for people to volunteer to be in the office more than one day a week people would snap their hands off. My colleagues who have just started to remotely work are pulling their hair out with the new way of working and the lack of organisation. I on the hand am quite used to it now! It just doesn’t feel very fair. I realise ‘discrimination’ may have been too harsh of a word from me though from a legal viewpoint.

I don’t want to pull the “consider yourself lucky” card but it’s only one day a week you have to find a solution for. In my current role as a critical key worker SW dept, working in the office for a LA, we are getting daily calls from people ( who assume that by the nature of our work we have the answers) getting called back to work often full time, with young children at home. They are asking us what childcare help is available for them unfortunately the answer is none, in our area even being a key worker is not enough to get a place at a school, frontline workers only are guaranteed . Or there is special provision for very vulnerable children and that is all.

Can your DP work a weekend day then?

Could your DP take a half day off for those days, and you do the uploading in the morning, come home, and DP goes to work? Or can he shift his hours that day 1hr later/earlier to accommodate, if it's only 30 mins worth of work that you need to do in the office?

I realize this is unrealistic and likely won't help... But I want to say that you should just take your kid with you and when they question you say "you have me no other options. I told you I'd work from home because I didn't have childcare. You refused so here WE are."

Could you go in on a Saturday? When your DH is at home to look after child?

She can't go in on a weekend, the office is shut.

It's shit OP but I understand why they are asking you to come in. Sounds like you've been given the benefit of the doubt quite a bit already. Your DH will have to take a day off at home - or even half a day

If your employer is discriminating, then so is your DP's employer

And of course that doesn't justify any of this

I really do not understand a business' logic by trying to force parents who legitimately can't get access to childcare right now due to lockdown into an office. The only alternative is to force that employee to take holiday where they may have otherwise been able to work effectively at home. The person taking leave is still not in the office either way so nobody benefits and it still costs the business more money while severely impacting morale.

These are abnormal times, not everyone has a local family childcare network and letting people work from home is not a company doing people a favour or giving people the benefit of the doubt as some people seem to think, it is a requirement of the times! I swear parents with young pre-school children have been forgotten during this pandemic with regards to jobs. Everyone seems to think women are at home with the kids anyway so what does it matter? No plans for testing, no childcare available, no familial support, just quit your job and work two full time jobs at once and consider yourself lucky you have a job when you get to chose between losing wages or abandoning your child.

Surely if you’re working from home you knew you would have to go back at some stage.

Are you in a union? If so speak to your rep ASAP. The government guidelines still say that if you can work from home you should. I think you have a good case. There is no reason to make you go in 1 day a week.

It's a crap situation but I think you're being unreasonable. It sounds like your employer had been very accommodating so far and there is a business need for you to go into the office one day a week.

Would one of your work colleagues be willing to "swap" with you? If they are then you could go to your manager with a solution rather than a problem. The colleague goes in and does "your" day and you continue to do the work from home. By the sounds of it it would be a good swap for your colleague and would management be bothered as long as the work was being done? Does it matter who is in the office and who isn't as long as all the work is being done by someone?

Under these circumstances can you apply for a space in a childcare hub run by your local council? That's how it's running where we live. They can allocate a space at a school, childminder or nursery.

I think it's discrimination and sadly, I think this is going to increase. There is only a certain amount of time that employers will make allowances for children being at home. At some point (probably soon), employers are going to decide that if you can't do what they want/need then they need someone else. Women likely to be much worse affected than men.

I think YABU sorry. It's only one day a week lots of others are in a much worse position, they have offered special leave for the next 4 weeks. Really this is only because you don't want to have to use your annual leave for this but your work shouldn't have to keep paying you when you're unable to be in the office. If they are expecting the same from everyone else then I can't see how it's discrimination, uou've actually had a better deal than others it sounds (WFH since start and now 4 weeks with one day off, paid). Are you the only person in the office with a child?

Is your DP your child's father by the way? It's not clear from your posts although apologies if I've missed something. If not then no I don't agree that he should be using his AL as well either.

If you're DH was furloughed can't he have your child?