To feel my employer are suddenly discriminating because I have a young child?

[Tayo23]

I work for a government dpt where it is not usually commonplace to be able to work from home. On 19th/20th March when the schools closed, I was asked in work if this would impact me in regards to childcare - it does, and I was offered a laptop to work from home which I gratefully took.

At this point all my colleagues (except for a minority shielding or in similar positions) remained in the office every day as there were a lack of laptops for them - it was BAU. I worked remotely from home, with colleagues in the office uploading my (and other remote workers) work. A week later my office closed (a non-critical govt dpt) however I have continued to work from home since then although my colleagues without laptops were not working at all. My partner was furloughed a week or so after my office closed so has been a great help keeping 4yo entertained.

At the end of April my office advised those without laptops must return to the office one day a week on a rota basis to upload, (to maintain social distancing). I was not asked because it was understood I was working from home. Last week they provided everyone in my office (around 80 people) with laptops. I have now been told that because everyone else now has a laptop, I am now too required to work one day a week in the office, and spend the rest of the week working from home.

My partner returns to work next week. I now am in same position as end of March before lockdown re childcare. They are allowing me to take special leave for the one day a week I can’t come into the office, for 4 weeks. After then I have to use annual leave. I have repeatedly stressed I am willing to continue working each day from home. I just simply cannot leave my child at home alone. My partner is unable to get paid leave off and we would struggle without his pay.

AIBU to feel this way, they understood initially and accommodated me which I was extremely grateful for. I have worked each day whilst my colleagues barely have done until now, but now they too have the facilities to work from home, the goalposts have been moved.

I am not happy being told when to take AL when I have not asked for any time off. Do I have a leg to stand on here if I take this higher than my own line manager (who robotically regurgitates things without much compassion or consideration for people’s individual circumstances)

I'm constantly asked to approve flexible working arrangements day in day out for mothers when their husbands employers have no such requests

I'm a civil servant on CV response. No school place so no childcare. It's hell.

Your DP’s employer’s lack of flexibility is not a reason for your employer to be flexible though.

Assuming first that you still think you can work from home successfully WITHOUT your dp there to look after your child, I would politely go over your managers head to their manager and hr and ask them to reconsider the requirement. State you understand the thinking behind it, but in your case can demonstrate successful working from home for x weeks now, and list some evidence. Say that you appreciate the upload requirements and are willing to canvas colleagues to find if anyone would be willing to take on your day (how would they get it from your laptop- I missed that bit?) as you know a number of colleagues much prefer being in the office and would welcome the opportunity.

I think you are panicking unnecessarily.

Just take it one month at a time.

Take 3 days of annual leave for 3 weeks and for one week Dh can sneak in a day of sick leave that his employers will have to deal with (if they really are unreasonable about him taking a day of annual leave with these circumstances).

These are unprecedented times and who even knows if you will be wanting to holiday this year. Taking a few days of annual leave may be a great solution to mix up you life, plan some special days together with your little one, and completely switch off from work on those days.

Off point to the OP but it's worrying how many employers are using the 1st of June 'schools opening' to justify reversing all home working. My children are usually all in the ages which are meant to be in, but one is in 2 days a week, the other 3 mornings (not all the same) and another 2 days (again not overlapping fully). All in all I will have one morning totally child free, which could at any time go because someone in schools tests positive. Working parents are going to struggle hugely if employers take this approach. The government should legislate for this in my view with parents being entitled to home working where it is at all feasible for any time they have children at home. Many schools believe we will have blended learning until at least Easter...

Really interesting thread. I can see that the employers think they’re being fair by asking everyone to come in 1 day per week and that OP doesn’t see why status quo can’t continue if it’s working.

Also, when OP say ‘parents/shielding have been carrying the weight’, I sense there is probably some tension in the workplace about perceived differences in treatment, which may be why employer is trying to be seen to treat everyone the same, especially if they’ll be WFH for the next 6-12 months.

I am a bit confused though as to why the people going in to the office 1 day per week are only doing 30 minutes of ‘low grade admin’ work that day? Why can’t they do the work they do the other 4 days per week? It seems a very badly run department.

Special leave is usually to cover unexpected or unplanned emergencies. As the are giving you plenty of notice, I don't think it's unreasonable.

It's not just parents of young children who are suffering, off topic I know but we have been told that as if 1st June we can no longer wfh. I m also having to move offices which means instead of getting out of bed at 8.30 to wfh or being able to walk to and from work I will have to drive in heavy traffic and pay to park a good 10 mins walk away. In effect it's going to cost me more and take me a lot longer to get to work. Due to 'social distancing' I've also been 'chosen' to start and finish later which I absolutely would not choose.
I have requested to work from my former office but been told no. Another colleague will work from there apparently it fits in better with their home life, even though they have to drive but they have young kids.
I'm going to request I move back again but I'm my holding out much hope.
It stinks.

Sorry if I missed this being mentioned already but I can't see it. If there's so little work to be done, could you suggest that it would be more efficient for everyone if the uploading was all done on one day of the week? Then only one person needs to do on per week so that's 1/5 of the need, you take your turn first before DH goes back, then they can each take turns so you only need your DH to take one day holiday in late June/July, or you take a day holiday as requested, or somebody covers it for you.

I think OP and her DH are going to need to find childcare anyhow.

WFM when you have sole charge of a child that young does not work - and if she has to do an entire days work starting when her DH gets home, it is likely things will become excessively challenging.

I think her focus is wrong. In solving how she can fit her days work into approximately the hours of a working day, she may well also find the solution to when she needs to attend the office.

Try using a responsible Y13 whose exams and summer plans have been cancelled. Ask around your neighbours to see if they know anyone. Because as they won't be sole charge, and you'll still be in the premises most of the time, you will be able to assess quite well if they'll be OK in the hours you'll be absent.

Or use today's new Cummings endorsed approach and go to one set of parents, even when that's a an apparent breach of the rules. And then just travel once a week when younhave tomgomtomthe office.

The thing is if the op takes a day off a week this still does not solve the problem someone still needs to go into the office On day a week - the management are just being ruled for the sake of it, It’s not school - or maybe that’s how they see things - overly controlling and if they let one person break a rule then all hell will break lose, Who is going to do your office work on your day off?

Even if I struggle working at home with DS the requirement is still home working 4/5 days. They’re not accommodating me by ‘allowing’ me 4 out of the 5 days to home work, this is the way they want the whole dpt to be working. (Not one single member of senior mgmt has been into the office this whole time may I add!).

The people in the office are doing low grade admin as they’re uploading people’s working onto the system (which cannot be accessed from home). It’s not a usual part of our job, as obviously when we’re in the office normally we would input things into there directly, rather than send over a spreadsheet to be copied. It’s an extremely badly run dpt - we usually say “they think of the most logical way to do things. - and then do the opposite”. As I’ve said a few times I think this may have altered my sense of what’s ‘fair’ slightly because a lot of things they do seem completely pointless and irrelevant.

Lovemelongtime - I know this about special leave. I don’t mind taking that, it was the AL they want me to take afterwards which I had issue with. I realise now though I’ll have to take it and may be thankful for some days off. Once my AL runs out though (presuming things are still the same) I’ve no idea what i’ll do - hoping it won’t come to that.

Probably am worrying prematurely to be honest.

They have spread the one working day out over the week on a rota basis to adhere to social distancing. If everyone went in on the same day they wouldn’t be able to do this effectively.

The thing is, I’ve never been part of the team to upload in the office until last week. So there’s not really a need to ‘cover’ me. They managed completely fine without me on that rota, the work hasn’t increased, it’s decreased.

Once my AL runs out though (presuming things are still the same) I’ve no idea what i’ll do

Request unpaid leave or to go part time? That seem normal to me. But if you work for the civil service, I expect redundancies are coming. It all seems very inefficient and there will have to be cutbacks.

The thing is, I’ve never been part of the team to upload in the office until last week. So there’s not really a need to ‘cover’ me. They managed completely fine without me on that rota

And thats the issue.

People who dont have kids are being expected to come in, in a pandemic, simple based on the fact that they dont have kids.

Everyone else not wanting to work the day they are due in, have to take AL. They don't get to work 5 days a week home.

Employers need to take certia things into consideration. But they don't have to give you everything, you want, to suit you and make others pick up the slack.

Employers need to take certia things into consideration. But they don't have to give you everything, you want, to suit you and make others pick up the slack

So what do we to about the fact that a) childcare is extremely disrupted, possibly unavailable and b) parents need to work to support said children?

Answers on a postcard,

You offer unpaid leave and annual leave.

Like you did outside pandemic.

So what do we to about the fact that a) childcare is extremely disrupted, possibly unavailable and b) parents need to work to support said children?

Ultimately, there are going to be widespread redundancies, in all sectors, including public sector. There won’t be enough jobs to go round, so many will end up on UC, notwithstanding the fact that they are parents. Out of four working adults in my family, three have already lost their jobs.

AL doesn’t last forever, so unpaid leave. Fine.

Which means that parents, the ones with dependents to provide for, lose out economically to a disproportionate degree.

Because of something that they’ve absolutely no control over and didn’t ask for (childcare shutting down).

That sounds ... like a wonderful solution. Yay for an increase in child poverty.

There won’t be enough jobs to go round, so many will end up on UC, notwithstanding the fact that they are parents.

And I’m saying that disproportionately this will fall on parents. Yay for the child poverty increase again.

LaurieMarlow op has 4 weeks of special leave. Then her and her dps annual leave.

Its weeks and weeks away. Childcare and schools aren't going to be closed forever.

So you think its fair, than in a pandemic, just the childless pick up the risker parts of jobs?

Everyone knows working with kids is difficult. That doesnt mean its ok for the shit to fall to people who don't.

So you’re intending on working and providing childcare 4 days a week which is a massive juggle and will impact your effectiveness and productivity but accepted but your employer is still somehow unreasonable ?

Nurseries reopen in June will your normal childcare not take him for that one day a week?

Of course not trevsadick but by taking leave, whether that be special, annual or unpaid. The parents are still unable to get into the office. Childcare shutting down through no fault of their own isn’t magically sorted by taking leave. Therefore the people who can get into the office are still going regardless. Does it not make sense to have the people who can’t doing something productive (far more productive that whats done in the office) from home instead of doing nothing with leave?

Figgygal

I don’t have a choice. Not many people do at the moment. As I’ve said they’re not ‘allowing’ me to stay at home 4 days because I have a child. Everyone regardless of whether they have kids or not is wfh 4 days as that is what we have been told to do. So whether I can juggle it or not is out of my control.