To expect DH to replace the carpet he has destroyed

[Roostersmum2]

I say carpet, it's a large rug but covers most of the living room. I paid £200 for it as a treat to myself two years ago on my birthday as I spotted it and fell in love. It's a bit of a boring thing to buy on your birthday but hey.

I asked DH to give it a deep clean the other day and he reluctantly did. (Whole other thread). I went to bed only to get up and find him asleep on it the next morning having fallen asleep whilst playing the xbox.

He didn't air the carpet properly or open windows, instead he laid straight down on a wet carpet it to play his stupid game before falling asleep on it.

I've been smelling a "wet dog" odour all day and have discovered that it's the carpet which has developed mould/mildew due to not being aired properly and being smothered by him when wet.

He's not happy to be told he's now responsible for replacing it and thinks it was a good gesture of him to clean it in the first place...

Who's unreasonable?

Sorry you are going through this with a waste of skin husband. He sounds like a lazy and ignorant fuck. Probably used to his mum doing everything round the house. He’s replaced her with you.

The rug doctor uses very little water but sucks it back up. It’s really economical. He’s used much more water (that’s normal) without any suction to remove it quickly (Fair nuff) and didn’t hang it up on clothes airers or outside to dry (fanny).

That’s why it smells. If I wash a wool rug it has to dry 100% that day or it smells.
Roll on the summer weather so I can get mine done and out (it’s raining here today).

Try the solution of rewashing and drying quickly in the sun or near a radiator not on the floor as only one side will dry and the other will trap the damp and smell, as others have said.

Buy a carpet cleaner. I have a bissell and although it’s not as quite as good as a rug doctor it’s a kick in the arse off it and I can still hire a rug doctor once a year generally in November to give the house a spruce for the festive season.

As for the husband, you can try talking to him and explaining that things can’t go in this way. In my experience men seem to think their days work (or night shift) is all they have to do. They don’t seem to understand that (for comparison let’s talk day workers) that after you both finish work (or a stay at home mum job) and have your evening meal there are still dishes to be done, worktops to be cleaned (perhaps the floor too), (usually) packed lunches to be made, washings could be put on. Your day doesn’t stop after office hours. You both need to shoulder half the evening chores and childcare.

Spartacus has a point. A strike always lets them see exactly what all needs done. Followed by a meaningful convo about chore allocation. If no result dump. I’d dump him for keeping his outdoor shoes in in the house btw, it’s disgusting and unhygienic when little ones are about.

The rug has alot of white on it and is walked over all day every day, so it greys quite quickly and requires maintenance. It's not as if it's in a bedroom or a room that is barely used.

The front door opens straight into the living room. When I bring the pram in and out it has to go over the rug, so if it has been raining outside or the wheels are dusty that will contribute to the need to clean it.

My small children are forever dropping things and spilling things on it so it does require some maintenance which isn't usually an issue. I rent a rug doctor from our local Tesco but they aren't available at the minute so instead of waiting or shopping around further afield I simply asked him if he could refresh it, not that big an ask really given that I do everything else.

Alot of good advice here thank you

Hope you manage to sort out the rug, Op.

For future ref, if you need to clean the rug yourself using foam, you could always work it in with a long handled broom.

This all sounds a bit silly to me. Are you partners? Do you not share expenses? Why fuss about a rug when its your relationship that s the problem

Put plastic down before you go out with the pram?

what did he clean it with ? If you have a steam mop that should refresh it, killing any concern for spores or bacteria from outside dirt. Also very quick to dry.

This isn’t about a rug, the rug is the final straw, it’s about this:

He has cheated on me twice that I know about. He's a pathological liar. He's lazy and has no respect for anybody

Oh my goodness, so many people having a sense of humour failure about @Euclid here. Loving the poster who told her that she sounded like a parody! Now, why might that have been, I wonder?

He used a carpet foam and scrubbing brush but for some reason saturated the entire thing with water aswell.

We don't own a steam mop but it wouldn't be a bad idea to get one.

Also yes I could put plastic down near the door for the pram. I hadn't thought of it.

There are many good suggestions here that I can use in future, but it's not just about the rug, not really.

It's about me wanting him out because of endless disrespect and this was just the icing on the cake.

If your rug is as big as your room then that would be very heavy to move; more so when damp. Although he could have cleaned it by himself, moving it to air is not really a job for one person to do.

Also, you've just contradicted yourself up thread and said he fell asleep on the sofa afterwards, so which was it, the sofa or the damp rug?

If you're going to replace it anyway, surely it won't hurt to try some of the suggested remedies?

Lose the rug. Get a rug you can all live on and 'ruin' until your kids get older. The stress of trying to maintain a pristine rug with a young family isn't worth the angst.
What do you use with the rug doctor? I've never used one. But be mindful of how many chemicals you might be laying down onto that rug.
I know, it's advice you don't want to hear but kids (and husbands in this case) destroy the nice stuff. It's always the nice stuff! Always. And in the end, it's not worth sweating to maintain perfection.

As well as all the above advice, maybe think about saving for a new rug that isnt 'mostly white' in such a high traffic area with small children.

I live in quite a dark house, but chose dark coloured carpets for that very reason. I had a pale rug in front of the fire and the state it constantly got into made me twitchy. In consequence I live in very dark rooms (that don't show the dirt).

Oh, and ditch the partner. He's a waste of space.

OP even before your updates you didn't sound nuts or high maintenance.

He sounds like a ridiculous, selfish man-child.

Sorry about your rug op.
Ime there is no better day than throwing a lazy dh out..
Invest in some Poundland shower caps for your pram wheels! No more dirty rug!

Also, you've just contradicted yourself up thread and said he fell asleep on the sofa afterwards, so which was it, the sofa or the damp rug

I haven't contradicted myself at all.

When I spoke of him falling asleep on the sofa on the other thread, I was referring to before he cleaned it.

He fell asleep on the sofa and was woken up by his friend asking him to come online.

I reminded him, encouraged by everybody on that thread, that he was supposed to be cleaning the carpet (second day of putting it off for gaming)

He then cleaned it before going online but instead of moving it to dry he plonked himself down on it to play on the xbox, where he later fell asleep.

He was that eager to play his games he would rather lay down on a wet carpet than move it first.

I mean who lays stomach down on a wet carpet to play games? It's not normal is it.

Oh my goodness. I'm just reading back your post about his gaming antics and taking calls mid-picnic about a stupid game??? OP, my 18 year old is a total gamer and even he can switch off and totally do other things without thinking about gaming. When we go on 2 hour dog walks together, he talks, he engages, he doesn't take any calls, he doesn't even mention his game. I'm not trying to use my child as an example. Personally, the gaming itself isn't a problem. But the fact that your husband takes over the TV with it and totally allows it to consume his home life is extraordinarily lame. I don't know... I am super tolerant but even I couldn't cope with that level of detachment. I think the rug has become a main symptom of the problems in your marriage.

It’s clear that this isn’t actually about the rug (although I would be gutted if my favourite bag/dress/pair of shoes/whatever got ruined, especially if it was through laziness, stupidity and lack of respect like this, so I do understand; it’s perfectly valid to be upset when something you love is ruined). You already know your marriage is over. You already know you deserve much better. Make sure that you don’t settle for this for the rest of your life.

The rug will likely be just fine. It didn’t dry properly, that’s all. It won’t be mould, it’ll just be that musty/dog smell due to being saturated with water for too long. I’d give it a good clean again and maybe put it outside in the sun for a day if you can.

I’m sorry that you’re dealing with such a disrespectful, nasty, cheat of a husband. And yes, if it’s irreversibly ruined then if I was in your situation I would expect him to get me another.

However you might feel better if you just get out ASAP (or get him out) and if necessary treat yourself to a new rug!

Throw the rug out. With him attached to it.
Buy yourself a new rug in a darker colour.

And no... ewww. It's not normal.

I mean who lays stomach down on a wet carpet to play games? It's not normal is it.

Between working nights and gaming, he's exhausted himself. I am so not excusing him. But he cannot be firing on many cylinders. He's functioning on the bare minimum and just about coping. He's able to rise to the occasion for his gamer buddies but has checked out of his family/marriage. What talks have you had about this?
Sorry! I'm turning this into your other thread, aren't I? Maybe I should go over to that one.

And this??? cheat of a husband
A cheater and the rest?

I need to read both threads in their entirety.

You can fix the rug. The husband? Nope. OP... I'm at a loss for words. I feel very sorry for you and your kids.

God, ignore poster who suggested blasting it with a hose! Don’t do that!

I wouldn't take a scrubbing brush to a wool rug! They need to be treated gently with proper equipment.

It won’t have developed mould in the space of a day or two. Rewash it and air it properly. Mountain out a of a mole hill in this instance.

Both your threads seem to cast your DH as a lazy selfish Twat.You use the most negative and uncaring words to describe him, which makes me wonder why you stay with him and obviously have a lot of support and sympathy from Mns.
What I wonder is why you stay with him? What are you getting from this apart from someone who apparently constantly annoy and fails you and you can blame for all the unhappiness in your life.
It sounds like you would both be happier apart.