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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect DH to replace the carpet he has destroyed

258 replies

Roostersmum2 · 21/05/2020 00:12

I say carpet, it's a large rug but covers most of the living room. I paid £200 for it as a treat to myself two years ago on my birthday as I spotted it and fell in love. It's a bit of a boring thing to buy on your birthday but hey.

I asked DH to give it a deep clean the other day and he reluctantly did. (Whole other thread). I went to bed only to get up and find him asleep on it the next morning having fallen asleep whilst playing the xbox.

He didn't air the carpet properly or open windows, instead he laid straight down on a wet carpet it to play his stupid game before falling asleep on it.

I've been smelling a "wet dog" odour all day and have discovered that it's the carpet which has developed mould/mildew due to not being aired properly and being smothered by him when wet.

He's not happy to be told he's now responsible for replacing it and thinks it was a good gesture of him to clean it in the first place...

Who's unreasonable?

OP posts:
Wendigogo · 21/05/2020 01:43

Thanks Punto for explaining. Nobody in my social circle has this ghastly thing. Presumably it is for children and low brow adults.
Not really. Some games rely on a high intelligence or have a lot of artistic merit, others...not so much. It's the same as television, film or literature - some media is enriching, some is just a distraction.

NeutrinoWrangler · 21/05/2020 01:44

I agree with PP that it can probably be saved. Sunlight and fresh air work wonders.

Baking soda absorbs odours and should be safe for most things. You could try putting a good amount of it on the parts you think are affected. Let it sit a while to absorb smells, then shake it off outside and hoover up the residue. I'd rewash and let it spend the day outside, the next time it's sunny.

Candyfloss99 · 21/05/2020 01:46

I'd be more worried about my husband falling asleep on a wet carpet. Why on earth would he do that? Why would he not go to bed? Does he suddenly just fall asleep at the drop of a hat? I believe it's a medical condition.

NotTheOnlyPomInTheVillage · 21/05/2020 01:47

Carpets often smell damp and horrible the first time you clean them. We cleaned our bedroom carpet last week and the damp smell was horrible! We cleaned it again and opened all the windows and it was fine.

Just clean it again. Yourself.

buildingbridge · 21/05/2020 01:48

Just clean it again and put it outside Hmm. Do not go and buy a new one, save that money for something useful.

Sweettea1 · 21/05/2020 01:52

So you want to cause an argument with him because he fell asleep on a wet rug? No way is it damp after 1 or even 2 days sounds like excuse to argu with him. If he makes you so unhappy end the it.

VanGoghsDog · 21/05/2020 01:54

Are you sure it's not him you can smell?

Antipodeancousin · 21/05/2020 01:55

I read your other thread and I struggle to not hate your ‘D’H on your behalf.
My only advice would be that you need to sit down with him, explain that him working nights is no longer manageable and give him the option to change this or leave. I occasionally work nights and it gives you a lot of alone time when everyone else is asleep to indulge in selfish pleasures. It sounds like this is when the gaming addiction started? If he was working day time hours you will both arrive home at around the same time and it’s hard to justify why he should be gaming while you make dinner, do childcare etc.
I think that gaming addiction in adults is probably linked to depression. Do you see any other signs of this? Would he be open to talking to a GP? Of course he could just be a selfish git who has checked out of family life and doesn’t want to be the bad guy by ending things.

cheesemongery · 21/05/2020 01:58

I think this is the straw and the camels broken back.

My Mum left my stepdad because he mowed the grass too short...

Your rug is more than salvageable, it's you marriage that isn't.

MrMeSeeks · 21/05/2020 02:04

Try astonish mould and mildew remover. Brilliant stuff

Doesn’t this have bleach in? Will this not ruin the carpet

Likefootball · 21/05/2020 02:07

Hardly worth falling out over- it's only a carpet.

theThreeofWeevils · 21/05/2020 02:08

Doesn’t this have bleach in? Will this not ruin the carpet

Oh, you need to do a patch test first. On a sensitive area of the DH.

hadtojoin · 21/05/2020 02:44

I hired a carpet cleaner and - on the encouragement of DH - I went over it that day and again the next morning before it went back. The next day we woke up to a overpowering 'wet dog' smell. I found out from a friend that the carpet had got too wet as she had done the same thing in her house. It was a fitted carpet that couldn't be taken up but she reccommended 1001 carpet fresh foam spray (the pet one) that disappears in seconds. I opened all the windows and used it a few times the next day and the smell was gone and didn't come back.

nomorequilton · 21/05/2020 04:12

Some people on this thread are the shittest kinds of people. You don't have to be the brightest spark to see that the op's husband is lazy and useless. Then you get the gamers who come on as usual to stick up for gamers.

Op you should divorce him, but I'm sure you really do already know that and it's just hard to take those steps.

SimplySteveRedux · 21/05/2020 04:33

I went to bed only to get up and find him asleep on it the next morning

then falling asleep on the sofa

Which is it? I'm confused.

PowerStruggle · 21/05/2020 04:44

I’m not sure you didn’t set him up for failure. If you want to end your marriage you need to deal with and unpack that. In the grand scheme of things I wouldn’t get this upset over a rug.

He may well be a tool, but this seems like manufactured drama.

EatDiamondsForBreakfast · 21/05/2020 05:18

Probably an unpopular opinion, but if I loved something I would just clean it myself. ‘Want something done properly, do it yourself’ Grin

TheBeastInMsRooneysRoom · 21/05/2020 05:56

Thanks Punto for explaining. Nobody in my social circle has this ghastly thing. Presumably it is for children and low brow adults.

Euclid , be honest. How would you know it was 'ghastly' if you don't know what it is? You sound like a parody of an out of touch ignoramus.

AMCoffeePMWine · 21/05/2020 05:57

I have a part wool rug. When I steam clean it with my carpet cleaner, it really smells like wet dog until it’s properly dry. Could this be your issue? I live in a dry climate, so it’s dry within the day, but if you’re in the Uk, I’m guessing it could take quite a few days to dry

www.fivestepcarpetcarenc.net/2019/06/12/why-does-my-wool-rug-smell/

mathanxiety · 21/05/2020 06:01

Yes, wet wool will always smell a bit farmy.

Best bet is to take it outside to wash and dry. It needs air and sunshine.

NoHardSell · 21/05/2020 06:05

It sounds time to leave. At least it would be a cool reason why, when people asked. Ditto the story about cutting the grass too short.

InfiniteSheldon · 21/05/2020 06:06

Low brow adults 😂😂😂

Mumdiva99 · 21/05/2020 06:16

I read a small bit of your other thread. Leaving husband is one issue the rug another.
You clean the rug with a rug doctor - this is a completely different method. It may smell during the process.
A damp rug for one night won't go mouldy.
Why do you need to clean an entire rug just because baby crawls on it? Our living room carpet was cleaned at most once every couple of years.....obviously spot clean dirt or stains. If you don't wear shoes in the house it does5 get that dirty. Couldn't you just wait till after lock down.
I'm with others that you seem to be trying to make problems with him.

SunshineCake · 21/05/2020 06:17

Pointless "gesture" Hmm when it has cost money. He needs to replace it, stop needing ticker tape for doing housework and stop being a waste of space.

I think at the very least it should be cleaned again and aired properly as nothing to lose and all to gain.

SunshineCake · 21/05/2020 06:23

Why do you think you have to crawl the rug to clean it ?

Argos sell wet carpet cleaners..