Neighbour talking on phone in garden all day and taking calls on speaker phone

[UnshakenNeedsStirring]

Since the lockdown the neighbour has decided to sit in the garden and work. He talks all his call in the garden, talking loudly. Its 6:30 pm and he is still on his phone. I can hear him in my living room! I can also hear all the the participants on the phone! It starts at 10 am and goes on till 7 pm. I cant keep the patio doors open or the noise will be horrendous! Talking to him wont work, they are not the type you can reason with.Its driving me mad! Any suggestions? Maybe I should play music, loudly!!

Baby Shark, all the way up to eleven. Or some really inappropriate gangsta rap.

All the way up to eleven op. ALL THE WAY.

1812 overture at full volume - with cannons - would be my music of choice

Rammstein sounds good.

What about prolific swearing eg Eminem or Rap? I’m thinking the latter could really put him off his train of thought as it’s sort of spoken and often wordy.

Or anything to do with having sex? Eg

www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3173770/Music-trigger-physical-response-similar-orgasms-people.html

whatculture.com/music/10-songs-that-are-basically-minutes-long-orgasms

Pretend you're a local journalise and ask how "HOW ARE WE SPELLING THAT PLEASE, NEEDS TO BE RIGHT FOR MY ARTICLE" or have a (pretend) loud phone conversation yourself saying "YES, I'VE GOT LOTS OF INFORMATION ABOUT [insert neighbour's phonecall details] I CAN GO TO PRESS WITH IT BY MIDDAY" etc..

Mow the lawn, use your strimmer, leaf blower. Have your music on little bit. All helps!

You can borrow my NDN's yappy dogs if you like I shan't miss them

*journalist not journalise

You could also have fun with kids stuff if you’re going for baby shark

Gangman style
Agadoo

If it makes you feel any better, I’m envious of your noisy neighbour. Our row is in a curve. If I work in my living room, I can smell the weed from the neighbours over the road, who are also singing along (badly) to Bob Marley. If I work in the kitchen I can smell the weed from the young girl next door, whose boyfriend appears to be knocking down all the internal walls. If I work in my bedroom I can smell the weed from the couple two doors along and also listen to one of the forty three arguments they have every day. If I shut the windows I will die of hot.

I’m currently trying to convince DH to hand over his Lion Bar on the basis that I have the munchies.

Put on Je t'aime very loudly, followed by Agadoo, and finish up with Combine Harvester. Repeat endlessly. That should sort it

Add Big Fish Little Fish and Barbie Girl to that list.

OP order yourself a violin and start practicing in the garden....

I read once about a neighbour who used to start his petrol strimmer and just leave it on tick over then go out just to ruin his neighbour's enjoyment outside. Not sure if the back history

Mow the lawn, use your strimmer, leaf blower.

That would fit the music to Bob the builder.

Play music and if he says anything be like oh yes sound does travel

@DarkDarkNight my son wont wake up till 2 pm :(
I will play loud music tomorrow, see how I get on. Its really getting on my nerves

Barry Manilow and Mandy on repeat would by my suggestion, or some lovely Prodigy and Twisted Fire Starter.

... and don't forget to add the CRAZY FROG to your playlist!

You can’t complain to the council, he isn’t doing anything wrong You just find it annoying.

Perhaps just your presence in your garden will put him off?

A woman a few doors down from me also likes to take her work calls loudly in her garden (on my street we have low walls and can all see into each other’s gardens up to a certain point) and if she ever comes out to take one and sees that I’m already out gardening she gives me an annoyed look and goes back in, as if me being in my garden means I’m some nosy git trying to listen into her important calls through her office walls. It makes me laugh.

You need to put up some trellis on the fence. Lots of it. With many nails.

Take up whistling.

DH whistles.

Annoying fucker........

You want this playing on a loop

I want to do all of these as revenge on anyone taking a phone call in earshot of other people whenever, wherever, public place, lockdown or no.

I especially wish I could blast people with "Combine Harvester" as per pp suggestion! That is special.

This is your chance to get your foot in the door!! Get yourself a new career. Show some initiative and pop on your best suit, then set up in your garden(social distancing is important still obvs) and join in. You'll be running the company in a week I promise.

Grumpylockeddownwoman, I was thinking the same!