Neighbour talking on phone in garden all day and taking calls on speaker phone

[UnshakenNeedsStirring]

Since the lockdown the neighbour has decided to sit in the garden and work. He talks all his call in the garden, talking loudly. Its 6:30 pm and he is still on his phone. I can hear him in my living room! I can also hear all the the participants on the phone! It starts at 10 am and goes on till 7 pm. I cant keep the patio doors open or the noise will be horrendous! Talking to him wont work, they are not the type you can reason with.Its driving me mad! Any suggestions? Maybe I should play music, loudly!!

Learn to play Baby Shark......on a kazoo.

If you live in a little sea side place I can do.. I will quite happily tell the ignorant fucker to stfu on your behalf...

hes talking over my music, then I watered my plants, I have then in plastic tubs, he talked over it too. He is still out there talking loudly

But he can't sustain that and I bet whoever he is talking to will be annoyed. Keep doing it until he either goes inside or asks you turn it down. If he does the latter, tell him you need the music that loud to drown out his calls.

Telling you, lawnmower. Start it up every time he starts talking. next to the fence.

Don’t play Rammstein! That will be the sort of thing he likes. It probably fires him up. He’ll be oblivious.

You need to play something really unlikely. Like I said yesterday: really twee folk music, morris dancing music. Get in his mind and play the exact opposite to what he might expect to hear.

Bird is the Word.

Not Rammstein, Einsturzende Neubauton. They're having a bit of a resurgence right now so you can legit say you're checking them out, but they're also the sweet spot between loud music and angle-grinder noises.

Don't just put it on loudly though - take it out into the garden as soon as he picks up the phone and pace around with it so he can't get used to it. Invest in some extra garden breaks now for more productive work after a while.

My earlier suggestion of digital alarm definitely works.
Fed up with the couple next door who appear to have mounted really loud TV on the party wall that is their lounge and my bedroom. This evening my bedroom door was closed and I could still hear their music in my lounge, 15 metres away.
Set the alarm, went up to the roof garden,
Text "Hi, are you OK, there's an alarm going off in your flat"
"Yes, it's an alarm clock, it'll run for about another half hour, I'm up on the roof"
"It's quite loud"
"Yes, it drowns out your TV and music"

First night in ages without the deep bass of their TV booming through the wall until 1am.
Result

I’d go Beastie Boys “Sabotage” for a real subtle message each time.

I've made a playlist which is mostly hed(pe) and Coal Chamber. They'll love it!!

Engage your inner Moira Rose and bellow our (from the diaphragm) “do I need to sign an NDA to be on this call?”

New age crap with Whalesong and wailing native tribes people while you chant disharmoniously (while burning copious sticks of incense and green plant matter to make acrid smoke while fanning it over towards his house) would be supremely irritating. (I used to work in a new age shop)

A playlist for anyone in a similar situation

www.laweekly.com/top-20-most-epic-vagina-songs-ever-part-2/

Or these

www.flavorwire.com/266212/10-of-the-most-gloriously-offensive-songs-in-history

Gloves off OP,time for the wind chimes.

Did your mower arrive @UnshakenNeedsStirring?

They need my NDNs with their SHOUTING children, shouting hours on end.