AIBU to end new relationship over name error?

[Whatsmyname8]

I was seeing someone a couple of months before lockdown started. We’ve continued things as best we can during lockdown but obviously it’s hard not being able to see each other.
On two occasions now he’s called me the name of the last woman he seriously dated, supposedly 2 years ago.
Both times have been after he’s finished a night shift at work so has been pretty tired. The first I laughed off as a slip up but now he’s done it again.
AIBU to end things over this, would you? I don’t know if I’m being overly dramatic.

Repeat "I don't want anything in my life that doesn't want me"

My DH called me the name of his high school girlfriend three times while we were dating... But he's always getting words mixed up and forgetting names so it's not out of character and I didn't worry too much about it!

I’ve been married over 30 years. There have been two quite recent occasions when I have called DH by the name of my once time fiancée. I have also called adult DS by the name of my estranged DB. I think it’s because the situations we were in at the time evoked situations I had been in with my ex and DB.

If everything else is fine, then don't worry.
I often get names wrong. My poor DD gets called by the dogs name quite often and sometimes by her sisters name (same goes for the dog and the sister). Their names aren't even similar.

I personally wouldn’t. I did the same to my DH before we were married. It didn’t mean anything (just habit really) and although he was hurt by it he got over it.

I’ve done this to my DH. I’ve done it quite recently too (been together 10 years). He did it to me when we were just going out. My Dad occasionally calls my DSM by my DM’s name and she died 40 years ago! My Grandmother used to go through each name until she got to yours! Honestly it means fuck all. When I’ve called DH my ex’s name it doesn’t mean I’m thinking of that person or have feelings for them.

Please tell him about your fears, hopefully he wont do it in his next relationship.

Only last night my DP said he had to arrange Thomas the tank toys for nephews name. I ummed and said isnt he a bit old for Thomas being 22 years old? DP was insistent. Until it dawned that he meant 2 year old grandsons name. Not even similar. Just a senior moment in DPs case.

I also used to often look after small children within the family. At times I had 6 ranging in age from 6 months to 8 years. I had to go through every name when trying to get their attention.

Something like, davechrissusanjulieninasteven.
I can still reel them off now.

DH called me by his various exes names several times early on in our relationship (I’m talking the first few years).

He now frequently addresses me by DD’s name.

It’s water of a duck’s back and never bothered me but I’m pretty secure. The one serial cheater I knew had the same affectionate nickname for his wive and all his lovers precisely to avoid this issue. I really would not lose sleep over it.

My husband's name starts with the same letter as an ex. We've been married for years. I still stumble over his name and say the wrong one at times. I think the fact they occupy a similar role in my mind doesn't help. Both men I love/loved, similar likes and dislikes.

I am not thinking about my ex. I don't still love him or miss him.

You can end a new relationship over anything you like.

If you're thinking of ending it over this then do, it means your heart's not really in it or you think his isn't or both.

Long term relationships in which you have a lot mutually invested (joint home, joint children, joint finances, legal partnership or marriage) are different, but a new rlationship - it's never unreasonable to end a new relationship over anything.

It's thoughtless or annoying or it means something more... It doesn't really matter. You can end a new relationship for any reason, big or small, minor annoyance or major issue. If you're not head over heals a few months in and he's forgetting your name then ditch him, what's the point? You shouldn't need to work at a brand new relationship, that shouldn't be necessary til a few years in tbh.

The fact that you’re considering over this means the relationship is dead in the water and has no future anyway so might as well

I called my DP by my ex's name in the throes of passion once ! I was devastated that I'd done it and worried it had hurt him.

I spoke to my counsellor about it, and it is REALLY common. Basically, the way our brains store things, is that we store similar things together, kind of like in filing cabinet drawers. So we store memories of our children in one place, memories of our partners in another place and so on. Sometimes, when we're in an emotionally heightened state (having sex, under stress, tired, angry), our brain just misfires and brings up the wrong memory. That's why when the kids are arguing and you're feeling stressed out, you muddle up their names.

It depends on the circumstances if it was in the throes of passion then I would be rather upset but slip of the tongue when tired is easily done. Especially if the names are in any way similar.

My partner's mum calls me by his ex's name occasionally, we've been together for years and they'd been split up for about 2 or 3 when we met

I think it depends on the circumstances and if it keeps occurring after these two times.

I have several times caught myself just as Exdh name was about to come out, I in no way at all ever want to be with him again, DP is far better for me and us than he ever was. However I was married to the man for 10 years, the ingrained habit is there. I did catch myself though, so I would be a bit if someone doesnt . It would be really hurtful to DP if I called him exdh name so I manage to catch myself every time because I know it would hurt him.

I do think repeated "Oh Haha I Still call them by the other name sometimes" is crappy and selfish. If it's just these times and you've raised an eyebrow and hes a bit more careful then I would say no harm no foul. However if it keeps happening and keeps being laughed off....that's a crappy person.

It's probably nothing and you haven't been together that long for him to not get it wrong. Must admit though I'd be pretty P off about it. Btw, my OH he's got voice activated text and on the odd occasion it's come up with Hi Jane for example by mistake, not Hi engaged. The first time it happened I was 😡 then 🤔 then ☺️ - when he explained!

I wouldn't.

My BIL's family all have names ending in 'ie', including the dog who is Archie - I've lost count of the time's I've mixed them up!!lol!!

My DH and I have been together for 17 years.
Occasionally he will call me Carol.
I am not Carol.
That was his first wife I'm his last
He only does it when he's really properly tired/dead on his feet.
I don't really mind. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It would be really hurtful to DP if I called him exdh name so I manage to catch myself every time because I know it would hurt him.

Now do that when you've been awake all night.

I know this is slightly different but... My name is Niamh. My now-husband didn't know how to pronounce it until we'd been together for 8 months. I only found out because his sister asked him how my name is pronounced after seeing it on Facebook and he couldn't answer.
Honestly, people slip up and it's no biggie. I wouldn't get worked up about it.

I'm forever calling DH by DS'a name and vice versa. Sometimes I call them both the dogs name

I always get my kids names wrong. I just work through the 3 until I end up on the right one!

When you say he’s ‘called you’ by an ex’s name was that whilst you were chatting or messaging ?

If it’s chatting then possibly a genuine mistake but if it’s when messaging then he’s probably got other women on the go

I called DH of 20 years the name of my ex in the early stages of our relationship. Give him a break for now.

I'd be gone, sorry. In my mind it says that is the person he wants to be with and you are a substitute.