AIBU to end new relationship over name error?

[Whatsmyname8]

I was seeing someone a couple of months before lockdown started. We’ve continued things as best we can during lockdown but obviously it’s hard not being able to see each other.
On two occasions now he’s called me the name of the last woman he seriously dated, supposedly 2 years ago.
Both times have been after he’s finished a night shift at work so has been pretty tired. The first I laughed off as a slip up but now he’s done it again.
AIBU to end things over this, would you? I don’t know if I’m being overly dramatic.

@PomBear205 possibly my worst foot in mouth ever (and its a constant affliction!). I felt so bad but he was forgiving about it.

I've been married to my husband for ten years and with him for 15 and I still occasionally call him by my ex's name. It is just brain wiring. My ex means nothing to me, I don't miss him or spend any time thinking about him.

My Dad has occasionally called me by my mother's name for years.

Should I stop seeing him?

My mum frequently calls me by her sister's name. It shouldn't be so difficult to remember - she chose the bloody thing

You said yourself he was tired when he did it, I'd let it go.

I wouldn’t break up with him for that, especially if he’s tired after a night shift.

Many years ago I had a ‘relationship’ of sorts with a guy who was an open and unashamed ‘player’. After we broke up we remained friends and I asked him how he remembered their names (he was very good looking and lovely when he was with you...he had a lot of girlfriends). His tactic was that he only had relationships with women whose name began with J.....and called them all J.....

It'll be the night work, not any nefarious reason. It messes with everything. You might find this interesting though qz.com/909209/psychology-suggests-that-when-someone-calls-you-the-wrong-name-its-because-they-love-you/

A friend of mine only ever dated people called Dave, which is one way to get round the problem. My OH sometimes calls me a name similar to mine but slightly different - think June rather than Judy. I know he loves me but he has the occasional brain fart.

I call my doggie Meggie often. Trouble is her name is Gracie and Meggie died over 2 years ago!

I love Gracie very much. I wouldn't end it over that no.

I signed a bunch of Christmas presents with me and the name of my ex instead of my now husband Was just on autopilot.

A couple of times when DH has been a particular type of irritating, I've almost called him my brother's name. I hardly ever see my brother, it just brings back being wound up as a child.. doesnt mean anything!

15 years ago I'd have said LTB. But now I think, aww poor bugger, how mortifying for him. This is because when I passed 40 my internal name database seemed to delete and now my husband and kids get called many names that are not their own, even the cat's name.

I have also dumped for similar misdemeanours

Well you can dump for whatever reason you want, but that does seem a tad harsh. Possibly also not the best filter - decent people can get names wrong, sociopaths can get them right.

My ex has the same (uncommon) name as DH, and DH's ex has the same name as me, so that solved any name confusion problems...

However, I do remember once reminiscing with DH about our lovely holiday in the Lake District. After a few moments, it dawned on us that we'd never been there together, but with our exes!

I refer to my husband by my first boyfriend's name more regularly than I think is reasonable to be fair they start with the same sound. Still. Feel like a shit when I do it. He doesn't care. I don't miss my ex or wish to still be with him.

Could it be a sign he's actually really comfortable with you so talking to you reminds him of what it was like to be a in a relationship before? May be clutching at straws

My partner tried to introduce me to someone and just forgot my name and I had to step in and remind him.
We had been together 6 years at that point.
He does have an appalling memory and has called me by other names too a couple of times..

Not the wrong name, but once I was reminding my husband about something we'd done and he looked at me strangely.

In the end I realised - wrong husband

But we did both laugh. I wouldn't dump over this.

My dad sometimes calls my stepmum by my mums name.

Not only did my mum and dad divorce 30 years ago but my mum has also passed away!

He also calls me by my half sisters name all the time, he's started just saying "Wife number 2" or "daughter number one" now instead!

He doesn't mean anything by it, he's just busy, and a bit absent minded.

I wouldn’t be at all bothered - Dad calls me by mum’s name as often as not these days, and still occasionally calls mum (married nearly 40 years) by his first wife’s name. Sadly I’ve inherited his name blindness. It’s beyond embarrassing when you’re talking to “Ererermumble”, and really cannot recall their name. I’ve tried all sorts of memory jogging methods but nothing seems to make a difference. Our poor dogs share one “SpotRoverFidoDOG” name between them. Otherwise, I like to think I’m quite bright, but names...

If he is anything like me please forgive him.

Not only do I mix up everybody's names, the family, the cats, the dog. I even create new names, when I start out saying the wrong name, realizes and change to correct name.

As in i start saying Kathy, correct it halfway to cynthia and end up with Ka-ynthia .

Neither i nor dd can remember her current bf's name, not all the time atleast. I revert to previous bf's name (which I only got the hang of around the time they broke up). In my defence he just didn't look his name .

If all else is well then I'd let it go. Fwiw my DP called me Lisa once in the early days... ( it's v close to my name) I was a bit 😱but now I know him so well I realise he is appalling at remembering names. He forgets our nieces and nephews names regularly!

If everyone on this thread so far had said 'dump him', would you have felt sad or relieved?

My ex's ex name rhymed with mine 😂 I think he got away with it on a couple of occasions.
My new (one year) DP has never got the name wrong and it's a completely different name so I'd be fuming.... however, my dear Nan has called my current partner by my ex's name twice lol

I've called by boyfriend my (gay) best mate's name so many times. We just have a laugh about it. My gran used to run through all of my cousins and siblings names and sometimes her dogs before she got the right one. It was just a mistake. Dont stress over it :)

Don’t worry. My parents divorced when I was young and my mother has not infrequently called her second husband by my father’s name throughout their (very happy) 30 year marriage. My father’s second wife has the same name as my mother, so no problem!

He could be doing this because you remind him of her or, more likely, you remind him of the feelings of a serious relationship

On the eve of my sister's wedding, my father referred to her soon-to-be husband by her ex-boyfriends name. Luckily only I was there to hear it. I was horrified, but didn't dare mention it as it would have put my father into a flap and he would probably have ended up saying the wrong name during his speech the following day. All I could do was cringe and hope.
Heaven knows why the ex's name popped out 6 years after their break-up, but thank goodness he got it right on the day.