People are influenced by their own childhoods. And whether the child takes after them or their partner, though it doesn't mean they will love the one like them most, could easily be the opposite depending on how their own self-esteem is.
Yes yes yes to this. My mum often spoke about her unhappy childhood because her parents had so obviously favoured her younger, prettier, cleverer, more charismatic sister - how this had hurt etc.
Yet exactly the same dynamic occurred with her own children ... and she does not see it. My sister was the high achiever, good as gold and so on. And my mum adores her, whilst I am surplus to requirements. History has repeated itself and she cannot see it.
I have tried to challenge her about this but when I have I am told I am selfish, jealous, bitter, difficult, want to spoil everything. No, mother, i just wanted to feel that you loved and cared for me too, like you longed for your mother to love you too.
I think my mum had very low self esteem from her childhood and felt that she had finally achieved something special by producing and raising such a perfect daughter. My imperfect presence spoiled that feeling of revelling in the reflected glory. I reckon I remind her too much of herself and her childhood dynamic.
Phew! Despite all that I am a really happy person, honestly!