To be fucked off with OH?

[Aibutobefuckedoff]

I’m a key worker and OH working from home. We have one DD (2)Our nursery has shut so OH has been managing whilst I’m at work (4 days) but can’t get much work done done chasing after DD. I’ve been trying to accommodate OH’s work- I do dinner and put DD down as soon as I’m home, I do a big shop on the weekend so Oh can work whilst baby naps, you get the idea, but it means I essentially don’t get a break ever.

Today I said I’d go to the shops whilst DD slept so OH could have some time to work as he said he’d been stressed about some important deadlines. As you know there’s no longer such a thing as popping to the shops, it’s a 30 min queue, etc.

I came home and DD was still sleeping. I put everything away and began some cooking. OH brought DD down and she wanted mummy so we had a cuddle and then I went upstairs to tidy up. When I was tidying our bedroom I found one of OH’s hanky’s that he uses for a wank on the ground-he had obsiously had a wank whilst I was out.

So as not to drip feed, we have not been having much sex since DD was born. I just don’t fancy it and it’s been quite painful for me. I’m still BF DD and don’t want touch from anyone right now. And my breasts used to be very sensual and now they are not at all. OH did try it on last night but I was knackered so nothing happened. He has been very patient and Never pressurises me to have sex. And I know he has to do it whilst I’m out and I’m glad he’s not going elsewhere for it. And obviously he was in a completely different space than DD and she was deep asleep so I don’t find it concerning in that way if you see what I mean. But AIBU to be fucked off that I’m standing in the bloody queue at Tesco’s and he having a wank at home? Especially when he is worried about a deadline? Or is it a fair stress releases?

[TheUnquestionedAnswer]

@Aibutobefuckedoff do you put wanky hanky in with the tea towels and stuff on a 60 degree wash?

I've got the fucking giggles now and it's gone 2 in the morning.

[Bubblebu]

oh winky wanky hanky!
oh winky wanky hanky!
oh winky wanky hanky!

cocks out, rub the spout
ra ra ra!

[TheUnquestionedAnswer]

I'm having to snicker like Muttley, otherwise I'll wake the neighbours

[user1473878824]

I’m going to be the awful person who hasn’t RTWT, but a wank is hardly the worst thing on Earth. From your OP your splitting things, he’s just not sitting there wanking himself to death while you hoover round him? You BOTH have a child and you’re BOTH knackered.

[Pieceofpurplesky]

I am still laughing at the thought of the family pet getting hold of the wanky hanky and running it round the house.

I reckon that the letters WH are monogrammed on the said hanky

[Iflyaway]

I found one of OH’s hanky’s that he uses for a wank on the ground-he had obsiously had a wank whilst I was out.

This would gross me out completely while having a 2 year old sleeping, who most likely wakes up at the most odd times....

FFS, tell him to chuck it down the loo!!

Does he do a shop? Or leave it all to you?

[Wendigogo]

@BubblyBarbara

I think you're looking for Nunsnet.

[Yeahnahmum]

Wank - - >fine
Leaving the wanky: absolutely filthy. Imagine your 2 yo waking up and playing with it
But him saying he is stressing out about deadlines etc and then him just having a bit of fun when you're our out... That's just wrong

Also. You haven't hardly had any sex at all.... In over 2 years? Wow.. I symphatisize with the fact it hurts but you should try to find options that work. Because that can kill a relationship over time. Imagine the reverse with something that was important to you... Good luck and don't go grocery shopping again. And tell your DH to clean up after himself yuck

[Pleasenodont]

He shouldn’t have left the wank sock hanging around purely because it’s grim as fuck but YABU to expect him not to wank when you don’t have sex.

[AlaskaSometimes]

I would be more worried by the fact you haven't had much sex for two years. I would leave my partner if he didn't want to have sex with me. I understand the few years after kids are difficult. But you really need to remain intimately connected as a couple, separate from the kids, or your relationship is weaker.

Intimacy is so important and I feel so sorry for people trapped in a relationship where they are starved for intimate affection and physical love.

[TheUnquestionedAnswer]

RTFT she has now had a shag!

Did you borrow his wanky OP?

[cherrytree63]

This reminds me of a scene in Corrie when Blanche gave Simon a set of hankies with the initials of the days of the week embroidered on.
Leanne said ah, is that S for Sunday, and Blanche said no, it's for snot.

[Elieza]

“Wanky”. Brilliant

[CobblersPose]

i found one of OH’s hanky’s that he uses for a wankwtf?! Is this standard?!

Oh yes most men have a Wankerchief, some have several!

[HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend]

Other than the tissue issue yabu.

You’re all trying to do your best, your other half is also a key worker only working from home, those who cannot work are furloughed.

[Osirus]

I actually think, and sorry to offend, but you really need to sort your sex life out. Two years without, when there’s nothing physically wrong, is not a reasonable way to expect someone who wants to have sex to live. I’m not surprised to “got straight to it” as soon as you’d left the house.

I breastfed for 3 1/2 years. I wanted to resume our sex life about six months after birth. It was a year in the end, and it was weird and awkward at first. Back to normal now, but I feel very sorry for your husband having to live in forced celibacy.

For the sake your relationship, I’d try to fix this as a priority. It’s not the mountain you think it is, it can be done quite quickly and with little effort!

[ToLiveInPeace]

Reader, she shagged him already.

[Weallhavevalidopinions]

YABU

No sex for 2 years and being considerate sorted himself out whilst you were out.

Should he ask permission first?

[Weallhavevalidopinions]

Oh dear didn't read the entire thread...

glad you managed to have sex

[Cheeeeislifenow]

Wanky hanky 😬
Nothing constructive to add!

[BubblyBarbara]

And I think 'BubbleBu' is 'BubblyBarbara'...

Afraid not. I think they have just been inspired by my name. I would be a lot more creative if I could work out how to have two accounts on my phone!!

[Aibutobefuckedoff]

Apologies I wasn’t clear-it’s not that we haven’t had sex but that we haven’t had it often. Before DD we probably had sex 3-4 times a week. Our first time after DD was when she was not for 3 or 4 months (I had a massive tear and episiotimy and I’m still BF her.) been only once a month until 12onths, twice a month perhaps since. How do you find the time? I’m. Knackered from work and childcare . And as I mentioned still find it painful, dry and my really feel uncomfortable when OH touches my norks Enjoyed the shag last night so hoping to keep it up and make more regular (do recognise how important it is for marriage) but where do you find the time?

[raspberryk]

If your dd has a decent bedtime and nap routine then there should be plenty of time.
I don't understand why you keep citing breastfeeding as a barrier to sex, it never stopped me. I just kept my bra on.

[Howdidido]

Are you upset because you basically dont even have time for a walk? And if hes got time for that hes got time to do more around the house?

[Howdidido]

*wank. Not walk. Although that too