My partner is at a fucking bbq/party

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I am livid. I do not consider myself to be a stickler for rules, I’m not over the top, I “allow” him to go to work even though I know he still socialising whilst at work, but I can’t do much about it.

We have a nearly 2yo ds. Last week ds was diagnosed with an ear and chest infection.

Today, he went out to get some bits for us to continued work on the house, and instead of doing that, he swanned off to a bbq (he is still there, despite arguing about it and me “telling him how it is”) all day. I just can’t beieve it. He just keeps saying “well I asked you if you wanted to come”

Is it me? Am I wrong?

Because I think he’s a fucking moron of the highest order and he simply cannot see it?

You're not wrong OP. It's against the law to go to the BBQ period. Because social contact spreads this disease and the U.K. is not on top of it. I'm sure he shouldn't be drinking all day on a building site either. Of course he should be obeying the regs to protect his family.

Obviously YANBU for being livid he went to a bloody BBQ OP, for goodness sake. It's literally NOT allowed because it places people at risk including your unwell child. He's a prick and I wouldn't want him back. Not sure I could find someone as thick as him attractive anyway to be honest- the rules are easy enough to follow and as a builder it sounds he has had more freedom than most of us on lockdown- clearly he is entitled to more though which can only come from the mentality of a selfish and entitled prat with not much going on upstairs.

I'd stay elsewhere for 2 weeks with the child, and consider making it permanent.

OP please ignore some of the rude comments on here and look at the vote. 89% of people think YANBU.

I swear some people just sit on AIBU waiting to be the first one to get a response in, usually a fucking horrible one, which then sets the tone for the next set of responses until sane people come along and actually read the whole OP (unusual in itself) and answer appropriately!

YANBU OP. He's a selfish knobend who doesn't deserve you or your child. Don't let him back in - or if he manages to get in, keep yourself and your child safe away from him.

Very unfortunate that your baby is ill at the moment, as that makes it almost impossible for you to go to any family instead :(

I'm shocked at some of the posts on this thread, OP, but sadly not surprised. It's always the same old ugly faces too, they haven't the wit to read updates or understand nuance - nor have the decency to apologise for their shitty posts.

Anyway, you're not being unreasonable and yes, your child's father should be putting the health of his child first, even if he thinks you're wrong/nagging or whatever. I don't believe you are.

Would you be confident enough to send him elsewhere now, even if it's just while your child is unwell? It might make you feel better and actually, less alone. A bad relationship can be such a bloody lonely place to be. Being alone isn't nearly as bad as that.

Hope your little one recovers soon and that you have some real life support to call on too. It sounds as if you could do with it.

Woq the judgement! I was living with my partner after having a baby and he was going in and out a he pleased and not giving a stuff so I packed our shit and left..you are not being unreasonable. The kids come first.

Some suggesting OP go somewhere else with her son, why should she?
He should stay away the selfish prick.
Hope you're OK OP.

Just a quick update (to keep the vipers fed)

He hasn’t come home - I didn’t expect him to, of course, it’s entirely my fault and “he would have come back ages ago if it wasn’t for me going on” if I hear “I asked if you wanted to come” one more time, I am going to totally lose my shit. I don’t think I need to confirm that this behaviour isn’t exactly unusual, I obviously (stupidly) thought that lockdown and a sick child might make a grown man think about his actions, but clearly not.

I would say he shouldn’t have gone to the BBQ, should have stuck to the rules etc.
My partner had to work too - key worker. Tried his best not to be around people and came home everyday night, no socialising , just taking me to the shop if I wanted.
You have to sit him down and tell him it just isn’t right. He needs to think about his beautiful family and put them first.

My partner is also in construction industry and has those “lad” type of mates.
He also finishes work at 4 and will go home straight away due to covid 19 lockdown.
You have got to get through to him, you know him, is there anyway you can word it to make him see sense?

No really surprising that the uk has such high numbers is it. Can't stick to any social distancing or lockdown rules. Partner gets called controlling and batshit for not being happy with it.

Op even without a pandemic you partner is a dick. Opts out of family life, drinks too much, has no respect for you. I don't know how or why you are with him.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe agree. Usually see Bluntness in these threads having a good pile on.

Op, I'd be extremely annoyed.

My brother, 2kids , 1 on the way, jas also ignored the entire pandenic amd has his neighbours in house drinking , almost daily.

Im livid and had enough of his stupidity, Ive effectively stopped all contact with him (in terms of social media and phone)

Sounds like youve some serious issues in your relationship that habe been really dragged up with the BBQ.

Hope your baby is better soon

Hi op. Your opening post clearly showed your dh was wrong. He shouldnt be at a bbq. But your posts after that have shown that your dh is actually not worth the time.

He has no respect for you, or the law.

You deserve better.

Your child deserves a mother who has better.

Make a plan to leave him.

He sounds utterly disrespectful. YANBU and I hope your son is better soon.

I can't believe he's still out.

Vipers is right, fuck off
everyone who has had a
pop at the OP. completely clear what was meant, he's a fucking arsehole of the lowest order. It's coke as well innit? So sorry. Hope you are okay.

Fucking hilarious Goaty, yeah, do you feel better for that dig? Sad cunt.

Oh yeah @GoatyGoatyMingeMinge my sides are splitting. Are you always so amusing?

I'm thoroughly depressed to see how many dickheads there are on this post. You are quite clearly not being unreasonable or controlling op. Your partner sounds like a total scumbag. Please don't let him come home. Ever. You deserve better. It's really obvious from your posting style that you deserve much better than living with this knuckle dragger, what do you see in him?

I obviously (stupidly) thought that lockdown and a sick child might make a grown man think about his actions, but clearly not.
Are you in a position to not let him back in until he's quarantined for a couple of weeks? That might give him time to think...

Why are you with him OP? What does he bring to the relationship that is better than to be on your own with DS?

He's certainly not bringing you peace of mind. Never mind putting both of your health on the line..... Is he really worth it?

You seem to be ranting and raving on this thread. Why let him do that to you? He doesn't care about you two....

Fuck him off and be the strong woman you are, for both of you, going forward in life.

Life as a lone parent is great without these types around. Let me tell you. So much more peaceful. Really.

Maybe he’s dyslexic. He intended to go to B&Q but ended up at BBQ. It happens.

I suspect he’s just a selfish prick though. Sorry you’re having a shit time. Hope the little one gets better soon.

Whatever you do, try get him to stay away and have some respect for you. Just tell him you don’t want him back. Say you are worried he brings back Covid to your child.

He’s got carried away with his mates bravado. They don’t sound nice.

You need a bit of time to get some perspective.