God, lateness really winds me up. Why are people so late?

[pointing]

If you're a late person, why?!

Especially when they text you to say they'll be home in 10 minutes. And then they're not.

Because their time is so much more important than yours?

Because they’re rude.

Or that's how it seems to me. I hate lateness too.

I hate it too. A proper dealbreaker when it comes to relationships.

I've been dealing with someone recently who does not know the meaning of "now". He'll call and say he's doing something now, then add "once I've done this other thing which shouldn't take me long". He's late with absolutely everything. Drives me nuts.

Because I try and fit too much in, it’s a weird compulsion to do a lot of things that if they work perfectly mean I can do it all in time. Which is great, but 99% of the time something goes wrong instead.

I drive myself mad as I hate being late and make myself stressed. But I still do it

Because they value their time much more highly than yours.

Because they are rude and believe their time is far more important than yours.

Two different types of people - those with executive dysfunction and those who don't give a fuck about other people's time. One i have patience with, one i definitely do not.

I find it SO rude. Yes, it means they think their time is more important.

It's my pet hate! I absolutely detest it and it's so rude, they value their time more than yours.

I've been like that my whole life. I genuinely feel I can fit more in to a smaller amount of time, or I underestimate how long things will take.
My son is the same. He had a training session recently on ADHD, and was surprised to find he fits most of the traits. actually, we both do.
So many things make sense now!
I don't feel entitled, I don't think my time is more important, I'm not rude. I hate it, I'm trying to get better.
I so hate these threads!
😶

No, not because their time is more important than yours.

What a stupid thing to say.

Oh god I agree! I hate disorganised, late people. We were supposed to have friends over at 5pm once, they phoned at 5.15 to say they were running late (no shit) but would be with us ASAP. Then they turned up at 7pm after realising their DC all had parties/sleepovers to go to and they'd offered to give lifts to other kids too! They do it every fucking time. It's irritating, but they're lovely in every other way so I just put up with it 🙄

It's rubbish isn't it?

I was in a Teams meeting today and one lady said "right, I need to go now, I'm in another meeting at 11" (it was 11.05 at that point) and then carried on talking about nothing much in particular for another 10 minutes before leaving.

I read an interesting article once about late people being optimistic. So they say say or think, “leaving in 10”, and genuinely believe it - because they’re (too) optimistic about how long it will take to do the 3 things they have to do before they leave.

I found it interesting - and it’s true for me, I feel myself do it. BUT I’m not rude... I’m very rarely late, because I make an extra effort when others are impacted. But I know that naturally, I always think I can do more in the time available than I can!

@Yallreadyforthis definitely explore this if you feel you both match up with a lot of the traits, I did and finally figured out a few years ago I’m not ignorant, uneducated or entitled but actually I have dyspraxia and ADHD with poor executive function especially surrounding personal care and timekeeping! I dislike these threads too but I’m sure they aren’t meant with any malice.

I've been like that my whole life. I genuinely feel I can fit more in to a smaller amount of time, or I underestimate how long things will take

And so, knowing you do that, and you've been like it your whole life, and it causes you to always be late, why don't you then address that?

Lack of respect for other people and/or lack of self discipline.

If you say you're going to be somewhere at a certain time then be there. Occasionally an emergency happens but people do it habitually.

Then I observed over the years that latecomers quite often get accommodated and made a fuss of much more than the early birds. They get reassurances, smiles, someone gets them a chair and a drink. They often are the person everyone wants to talk to at break.

I have never ever noticed this and don't think it's true of where I've worked or studied. I am very rarely late to meetings but when I have been it's excruciating and I definitely haven't been made to feel special!

I'm always, always early for everything. DH seems to think that Star Trek-style transporters can magically take him places in an instant and never allows for travel time. I stopped telling him the time we'd need to arrive and would only say the time I was leaving.

In his case it's lack of joined up thinking and familial habit (but in PIL's case it's thinking only THEY matter in any scenario) . He doesn't seem to allow for potential red lights, any traffic delay, getting coats on, and needing to hunt for where you left your phone/keys/other essential item. He's awesome at tech-nerd stuff (his job) but not at peopley stuff.

I consider it extremely rude to be late, particularly to meeting up somewhere. If I arrive on time and the other person hasn't given the meeting time the same care then I consider myself told on the subject of how important I am to them. Obviously if they leave on time and then something untoward occurs then that's fine - happens to everyone, though I'm often so early even a major delay isn't a problem.

Having kids to organise now is driving me loopy, but they're beginning to get why it's important not to be rude.

When I was a university lecturer I tried not to make a fuss about late students - you never know what else is going on in their lives - but it did use to quietly infuriate me when students would turn up late but clutching a coffee from the campus coffee shop. You must have bought that knowing it would make that later!