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AIBU?

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Original poster

Pulling kid out of private to go to (poor performing) state secondary

231 replies

Caplin · 15/05/2020 00:27

Ok, I know it has been done many times.

We live in a relatively new build in an ‘up and coming’ area in Edinburgh. Our primary catchment school was of the worst in the city, so we decided to put the kids into private primary, but it is killing us.

We had already decided to pull them out for high school as the school was doing ok, but in the latest tables our catchment high school is in the bottom five performing in the city. Now I am panicking as eldest goes next year. Only 26% of kids got 5 highers.

Even before corona virus we knew we couldn’t afford private for high school. So do we risk it, or do we try and move? Looking around that means doubling our mortgage for a smaller house that needs fully refurbed. With corona virus, we might be even more screwed trying to sell our house 🥺

To be clear, I have no issue sending them to a state school, in fact it would probably be better for my eldest as she doesn’t do well with academic pressure, but I do have an issue sending them to a school that is crap. I can easily live with middle of the table, but this is just so poor performing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Caplin · 15/05/2020 09:41

I should say, we bought our house 4 years before we had kids and they were meant to build 2 new primary schools. Then the housing crash came so the schools were shelved and we couldn’t afford to move, hence private primary.

OP posts:
Original poster
Caplin · 15/05/2020 09:42

We could look at Thomas of Aquins, but we are both atheists so I would feel fraudulent. Not sure how it works!

OP posts:
Davespecifico · 15/05/2020 09:43

I was going to say pay for tutors with some of the money you’re saving, but even if you did that, it would be stressful day to day going to a rough school.

hosnav · 15/05/2020 09:44

@Bananadobana that's great to hear - thank you.

ChrissieKeller61 · 15/05/2020 09:45

@Caplin I've played the Catholic card on many an occasion, do what you have to do, the bloody segregation shouldn't exist in the first place. Hate the game not the player

Bananadobana · 15/05/2020 09:49

Broughton!? God I thought you were talking about gracemount or the whec!!

Broughton is truly comprehensive.. really mixed catchment, was voted top school in tatler for that reason.

Just to flag up though, the music and dance schools are by audition and sit within the school. This doesn’t mean music and dance for all students is the same.

To qualify for ESMS bursary you need to earn less than 60k I believe.

Whenitsmytimeitllhappen · 15/05/2020 09:52

At the end of the day, if your children want to be successful academically, they will be, no matter what school they go to.

Original poster
Caplin · 15/05/2020 09:52

I know the music and dance schools are by audition, but it means that they do have decent kit.

I know I am probably unduly panicking about Broughton. I was just a bit stunned by their results. I mentor a kid in WHEC at the moment and my friend teaches there. It is actually a very loving, supportive school, but the kids just have so many tough circumstances.

OP posts:
viewfromthecouch · 15/05/2020 09:53

Can you rent in a better area while you rent out your own house?

RosesandIris · 15/05/2020 09:54

@Caplin

Could you move to RH catchment area?

mummmy2017 · 15/05/2020 09:56

I have friends who went private and friends who didn't.
The ones with the secondary education went to good university's and flew.
The private school ones were not so clever and none have decent jobs.
Cream rises to the top.

Original poster
Caplin · 15/05/2020 09:58

We have looked at houses in RH catchment. It would mean an extra £100k plus on the mortgage but not ruling it out at the moment.

I’m only on a new temporary work contract (may cover) as I was made redundant due to corona virus so not sure if that makes a bigger mortgage application problematic.

OP posts:
RosesandIris · 15/05/2020 09:58

The vast majority of parents in Edinburgh out their kids in state Primary and then move them to private in Secondary. If they can afford it and the plan is to involve private at all. Not the other way around.
I would agree that moving out of town if you can’t move within town would be a better option.
I have heard very bad reports about Boroughmuir and bullying btw.

JanewaysBun · 15/05/2020 10:02

Move or homeschool.

I'd even move in with parents if that helped

Noconceptofnormal · 15/05/2020 10:06

I don't know Edinburgh and the school system there but definitely move OP. Don't send your kids to a rough, underperforming school, even if they're academic they will not somehow pull through whatever people say.

I am an A grade student (for A level, BSc, MSc got top marks) but for gcse I got a couple of As but mostly Bs and Cs. It wasn't just the appalling teaching, it was hanging out with kids who didn't give a shit and parents didn't give a shit. My parents are educated themselves so I'll always wonder why they had set the bar so low for my education and why they didn't try and get me in to a better school.

Techway · 15/05/2020 10:19

The teen years shape children and they are highly influenced by their peers. It also helps you to parent if their friends parents have similar values.

A mixed comp isn't bad but those results seem shocking, is that a one off or a downward trend?

Foals · 15/05/2020 10:20

I was bullied at my "naice" grammar school mainly for coming from the "ordinary" area in the catchment instead of the "posh" area of the catchment. Just wanted to add that in, that bullying exists in many forms and across the board. It was mental rather than physical bullying but that was just as bad. Sneering, exclusion, mocking etc. My self esteem took a battering. Not that it should influence a school or not but the impression that bullying only happens in rough schools is wrong. There was also a lot of competition amongst students and not a lot of pastoral care.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 15/05/2020 10:21

I went to a secondary school which was once in the news as one of the worst in the country. When I was in year 10 part of it was burned down. The police turning up was a regular occurrence. It was the single most violent and risky environment I have ever spent time in and looking back now I wonder how we all got up and went there every day. But I left with 10 very good GCSEs and went on to do A Levels, BA, MA... Definitely explore all your options to see if you can secure a school place you and your dc are happy with, but do bear in mind that dc who are able and motivated can do well academically even at the worst performing schools and with parents who care and are supportive their chances of success are even higher.

Bananadobana · 15/05/2020 10:21

Royal high expelled students for dealing drugs last year. I have friends who went to broughton and went on to send their kids there. ( none in school atm)
I do think the Stockbridge kids and the pilton kids don’t mix much. I think there is more segregation with the music and dance kids.

Do any of your neighbours have children there?
Might sound crazy but if you want to keep them at ESMS could you even move somewhere cheaper? Use any savings on the house to pay fees?

rookiemere · 15/05/2020 10:24

Ah ok Broughton, those results are a surprise then. Now you've named the school I've changed my mind. I'd try it out for first year and then move if it's not working out.

Genevieva · 15/05/2020 10:30

There is no harm in applying for a bursary for the younger child. Bursary pots are not infinite, but they are not meant to exclude people who genuinely can't afford the fees, but who are not living on the breadline. It is always worth a conversation with the bursary to find out more. In the current climate, they might value getting some fees through the door for a bright and motivated kid verses an empty desk. Children who are not so academic but have other talents get a bit of a rough ride in my opinion. They have just as much to offer but the importance of academic results means they are less likely to be in high demand, so getting a place can be a challenge, let alone a bursary.

Viviennemary · 15/05/2020 10:33

I agree with moving house. But if you can't private tutors are a good option.

StatisticallyChallenged · 15/05/2020 10:33

You also have to factor in with Broughton that the balance between the feeder primaries is off - lots of Stockbridge and Floras kids go private at p6/7/s1. But as bananadobanana says, from what we've heard there is quite a split between the kids from the different areas

The high school I went to was quite similar actually- I was out of catchment but mostly the kids stayed in their primary school groups with only a small number switching. When it came to results there was a definite divide between the groups, with the children from one primary noticeably outperforming.

My catchment school was WHEC btw, I refused point blank to go!

MsPeachh · 15/05/2020 10:33

OP, I’m looking at the table now and my former school is listed as 28% getting 5 highers (I’m in my twenties so I doubt things have changed too much since I left). All my friends went on to do pretty well- doctors, engineers and solicitors. I’m a scientist. I wouldn’t worry too much, i’d agree with finding the school with the least bullying.

emmathedilemma · 15/05/2020 10:34

To be fair, you could live in one of the most prestigious streets in Edinburgh in a multi-million pound house and still be zoned for Broughton high school!
Let's say you keep the youngest at ESMS and move the eldest to a state secondary. You're currently paying the best part of 10k a year in school fees, no doubt plus a hefty sum on school uniforms, activities, etc. That's £833 a month or the repayments on more than £100k extra on a 15 year mortgage.....so move house, use the school fees saved from child no.1 to pay the additional mortgage and when the youngest moves to state secondary you're £10k a year better off with what you save from her school fees.
Or you move to a cheaper area (if there is such a thing) with a better school but guessing where you live I suspect this might be hard to come by, especially if you want to stay within Edinburgh.