To give the kids beans on toast for tea?

[whenskiesaregrey]

I bought the kids a crazy golf set off Groupon for the garden. Nice little wooden set with fun little obstacles. They were playing lovely, and I'm shattered after a day in work so I order a Domino's as a treat for us all. Plan to surprise them with it. Food is ten minutes away and the crazy golf suddenly evolves into DS10 getting frustrated, DD7 taunting him, DS10 hitting DD7 with the golf club and DD7 booting one of the obstacles in temper so that it breaks. They scream at each other. I shout at them to get in the house. They both storm off to their bedroom, I tell them to stay up there. I get "you're the worst mummy ever" shouted down the stairs from DD. Domino's arrive. I tell them they're no longer having it after their ungrateful behaviour and make them beans on toast instead. They're now sat at the table looking very forlorn and I feel guilty and sad as our evening has been ruined. I will not tolerate ungrateful behaviour when there's children out there who don't get things bought for them.

IABU not to let them have the pizza?

Hmm tough one. If they’d been good the rest of the day I’d probably give them chance to apologise and tell them I wasn’t prepared to waste good money on food they won’t eat because of poor behaviour but that’s partly because I also wouldn’t want to waste the pizza! Still, it would annoy me because I also Agree with the not being grateful etc

I think you did the right thing. They need to know that behaviour is unacceptable, and the only way you can do that is by enforcing consequences. There will be other times they can have a dominos, and it will make them think twice. I agree regarding ungrateful behaviour, rewarding it won't do them any favours down the line

Why do you feel guilty? Don't! You've decided this is the punishment for shitty behaviour, now stick to it. Bad behaviour has consequences. You're doing the right thing. Have a normal nice evening after this.

Yanbu. And even if you were you’ve said it now so best not go back on it.

(Disclaimer: I like beans on toast as much as dominos)

I'd give them a chance to apologise and have the dominos, then the evening can be salvaged for everyone. As long as they understand that the behaviour was unacceptable.
I'm probably being more lenient these days due to being cooped up and them not seeing friends.

I wouldn't use food as a punishment like that. It had already arrived. There should be a consequence for bad behaviour obviously but it shouldn't be food related.

Also they probably started misbehaving because they were hungry. I find if ds doesn't get dinner by 5.30 he's a bloody nightmare.

Usually I'm a talk-it-through kind of mum, but I could not believe it when I saw my daughter swing and boot a brand new toy I'd bought them!

Domino's pizza tastes better tomorrow for breakfast. Love beans on toast for tea.

Go for it, mines having a garlic naan and teo oreos.

YANBU. They still got fed, and it’s a nice timely lesson about gratitude. They can have the leftovers tomorrow if they’ve apologised!

Pizza for breakfast.

You can teach a valuable life lesson here.

Be a little shit and you don't get nice things.

Beans on toast is still a banger so I'd go with a bowl of unseasoned vegetable puree.

Give them the opportunity to apologise , hug it out, rescue the evening and have the dominoes.

Perfectly reasonable. They’ve still had a good tea but missed a treat for being naughty.

I'd prefer the beans on toast to the pizza.

@MaccaPacca81 😂😂

Beans on toast is a yummy treat in our bread free low carb house!

Totally agree with what you did, you’d have been rewarding their bad behaviour

I don’t think it’s right to use food as a punishment. Saying that, they’re fed, so it won’t harm them but I’d have just given them the pizza. It sounds like it was just a fight between siblings that could have been sorted easily by separating them and asking them all to apologise.

Tricky. In normal circumstances I’d say stick with beans on toast but we’re all fed up being cooped up and getting on each other’s tits so I’d cut them some slack.

As long as they know they’ve been shits and are apologetic

Interesting that the vote is 50:50 but nearly all the comments are YANBU.

Just had a chat with them both. I don't think it is helped by the fact I've spent all day working with vulnerable kids (in a school) who've got next to nothing, and then my two behave like that. As a PP said though, I hate to use food as a consequence. But feels wrong tucking into a takeaway after that behaviour!

You can't waste beans on them.

Give em dry toast and eat the pizza in front of them.

Mmm I saw the title and thought ”lovely, beans on toast”

@EveryLifeHasASoundtrack I heard them start and I prefer to let them sort their own stuff usually, or I'd be a constant referee. As soon as one gets hurt though, that's a different matter.

@BigSandyBalls2015 I know, I thought that too. But they have been at school today, so not like they've been stuck in the house.