To give the kids beans on toast for tea?

[whenskiesaregrey]

I bought the kids a crazy golf set off Groupon for the garden. Nice little wooden set with fun little obstacles. They were playing lovely, and I'm shattered after a day in work so I order a Domino's as a treat for us all. Plan to surprise them with it. Food is ten minutes away and the crazy golf suddenly evolves into DS10 getting frustrated, DD7 taunting him, DS10 hitting DD7 with the golf club and DD7 booting one of the obstacles in temper so that it breaks. They scream at each other. I shout at them to get in the house. They both storm off to their bedroom, I tell them to stay up there. I get "you're the worst mummy ever" shouted down the stairs from DD. Domino's arrive. I tell them they're no longer having it after their ungrateful behaviour and make them beans on toast instead. They're now sat at the table looking very forlorn and I feel guilty and sad as our evening has been ruined. I will not tolerate ungrateful behaviour when there's children out there who don't get things bought for them.

IABU not to let them have the pizza?

Yes I'm quite alright if my 10 year old yr5 child hits my 5 year old I get angry anyways but using a weapon even if only a toy is to much. Dont forget kids grow into adults if he thinks it's right now then maybe in 10 year he thinks its right. Anyways hes said hes sorry. But I have told my 10 year old dd she is the legal age to be prosecuted if she does something wrong (not that I would)

Send them to bed after tea, rather than waste the pizza.

Healthyandhappy he doesn't think it's right. He thinks he's done something wrong. So I won't be criminalising his behaviour anytime soon.

I haven't read the whole thread so forgive me if this has been explained but did you just say your son who is ten hit his sister. What punched her. Or kicked her. I think a pizza is the least of your problems. He's lucky he's not my son assuming no Sen. I would be far more worried about that than a toy. One being your flesh and blood, one being money and all. I'm livid and he's not even my child.

Not likely to behave like that again, are they?

This is hilarious, are you a parent? I’d say they’re very likely to “behave like that again” they’re kids! That’s not to say they shouldn’t have been punished though.

The OP surely didn't set out to 'use food as a punishment' just that the pizza arrived as things kicked-off - it could have been a planned movie or a walk around the block that was cancelled as a sanction. She's hardly going to do any lasting damage to her children - not like they were sent to bed with no supper!

I do totally agree with this, you have to make snap decisions when kids of this age do something they shouldn’t.

I like beans on toast. I wouldn't want to grow up thinking it's punishment food.

Thank you for those advocating for my stance. It's not what I set out for, but still appreciative.

@Fluffykitten23 he is ND, but that is not relevant to this situation and therefore there is no need for me to say that. So therefore, in your case, always best not to assume? If you must know the details, DD was counting his missed shots, he got frustrated and shouted, she persisted and he swung his club. At that point I went and told them to come inside. Does that help?

@whenskiesaregrey it's not me who needed help in the situation I assumed you did that's why you made the post. I know parents don't like things being said about their children's behaviour and wasn't relevant to the whether or not they got to eat the pizza. But their really is no need to be defensive. I was trying to help you see that you were posting for advice about something irrelevant really and you should be more concerned that your ten year old uses violences to solve a issue he has with somebody. But you seem to think all is solved now they did/didn't get a pizza. So I will leave it be. And yes it is relevant if a child has learning difficulties in regards to lashing out at another child. Would not be okay but more understandable. Anyway I was just trying to help you see the bigger picture.

Using food as a punishment? Give over. They were still fed for goodness sake they just didn't get the treat they were going to have. Beans on toast is perfectly fine (and healthier than Dominos really!).

If I'd bought mine some sweets/chocolate/some sort of treat they like, they wouldn't be having it if they behaved like this. Just because the treat is food doesn't mean they have to have it no matter their behaviour.

I agree they shouldn't be sent to bed hungry but they weren't, they had a meal, they ate, they just lost out on a treat because they were naughty.

You did the right thing.
Pizza was a treat. They didn't deserve it.
You fed them well (if you had not fed them then that is using food as a punishment, you didn't, you removed the treat not the food).
You have discussed it and the world is a calmer place and all go to bed with hugs, kisses and love.

They can have the pizza another day.

@Fluffykitten23 your 'advice' was unsolicited and is neither valid nor appreciated. You do not know my son, and your judgement is entirely incorrect. If you carry on dishing out similar advice to others, I'd imagine you'll come across similar responses.

@whenskiesaregrey did they get a pizza breakfast this morning?

@grumpyorange they haven't asked for it, so I haven't mentioned it yet. They both said sorry this morning and we chatted again. I'll give it to them when we watch a film later.