To think I should be allowed buy whatever I want for ds?

[WolfInSlutsClothing]

My ds is 18 months old, he is constantly putting his favourite Teddy into his pushchair and trying to wheel it around the house. He will then get really frustrated because the pushchair is so big he can't manouver it properly and will end up throwing a tantrum after a while. This is a daily occurance.

Thismorning I ordered him a little blue dolls pushchair on amazon, but when I told DH I'd bought it he went abseloutley mental. He rang me up telling me to cancel it and shouted down the phone at me telling me to stop trying to instill my own personal values on him, even though, in my opinion, that's what he is doing not me.

I told him I wasn't cancelling it and after shouting at me and telling me to stop being so controlling (?), that he's told me before he doesn't want him having it and he'll buy him a wheelbarrow, he went onto the amazon account, cancelled the order and changed the password so I can't get onto it now.

I'm honestly so upset over this, I know it seems like such a stupid trivial thing, but I really don't appreciate being shouted at and told what I can and can't buy for my own child. Iv had to stop talking to him because he just won't listen and keeps shouting, and being almost 8 months pregnant with a toddler to look after, I really can't take the stress of being screamed at over a children's toy.

He says if ds grows up and asks him to buy him a dolls pram, then he will buy one. But that he's not going to just let me decide for him that that's what he wants... My argument is, he didn't ask for any of the trucks, cars, toolsets etc that he has, but he bought them for him. Because ds has around 20 words and is not yet capable of asking for such things so we go on what we think he would like.

I'm rambling now but I'm just so worked up about all this, would you personally buy a 'girls' toy for your son? Am I wrong in buying him a pushchair that he hasn't specifically asked for?

Does he work in some macho, testosterone fuelled industry run by Neanderthals.

I bet he's mentioned it to only the token idiot colleague. My dd used to say everyone at school had a mobile but couldn't give names when pressed.

Just wanted to add another voice to the chorus of ‘abusive prick’.
I think it’s ok to veto a toy if you have a good reason. We don’t buy DS toy guns, and I once bought a science kit that was aimed at older kids and actually a bit dangerous (mother of the year over here). DH pointed it out and it got put away. But that’s not what’s happening here is it?

He sounds awful OP.
I'm so sorry.
Does he have somewhere else he could go because if you can, I'd tell him to go elsewhere tonight as you need some head space.
Or.... is there somewhere you can go to where you can get some love and support?
He doesn't sound like a loving or supportive husband from what you have said.
That could be completely wrong though!?

My DS has a rather lovely polka dot one that he pushes his baby round in. He also tips it over and fixes it with his tool kit.

Your husband is a dick.

Really bad behaviour, and more worryingly, what's his actual problem with it. Anyone who's children have been to nursery knows the boys often congregate on the toy kitchen or play with the dolls houses. Or play with their sisters toys, and vice versa.
If he makes this into a big deal and bans it, he won't actually know what his son is naturally drawn to, his son will sense he has to play with "boys toys".

Also, shouting at you, especially when you're 8 months pregnant, and his actual wife is not on.

Hope you're ok x

OP I fear I already know the answer to this but do you have access to your own money that he can’t touch?

Apart from what's in my purse atm, no.

When we walks around, are his knuckles dragging the floor? How you can be married to such an insecure, controlling, pathetic prick is beyond me.

Financially controlling much?

Wow @WolfInSlutsClothing so he has had some form of mental breakdown? He has never shouted and ranted at you before? He has never had problems with you being feminine toys for your child before? He previously had level headed conversations without shouting? He has always listened to you before?

Maybe you should be making him a doctors appointment if he’s suddenly turned into a homophobic sexist backward controlling shouting knob?

Your situation seems alarming, actually O.O. I'm so sorry OP.

He's an abusive arsehole sorry OP. Like a wheelbarrow will be better, he will just grab some blankets put Teddy in that and when he starts talking he'll call it a "pram". What will your H (not D) do then? He won't get him one. Probably pull Teddy and blankets out in a temper, shove a load of tools in it and upset your son instead? Wouldn't put it past him!

And calling you controlling, then locking you out of amazon? I'd be making moves to LTB, then you can buy your son whatever the hell you like without knobhead macho twat yelling at you

I ended up buying ds a trolley so they could load all their teddies into it

And financially controlling too....

Add financial abuse to your list of other abuse tactics and misogynistic traits and you need to get the fuck away from him, with your DS.
This cycle will continue unless YOU break it.
Your DS will grow up to be just like his father and will treat women as you are being treated by your DH.
Do you want that for your DS???

Gosh how ridiculous and he absolutely hasn't asked colleagues either.
You sound like you have much bigger issues though, very worrying that you have no access to other money and he thinks it's acceptable to block your access to shared money.

Tell me which one you want for him and I will order it for you and get it delivered directly to you - He cant change my amazon password!! Half joking but what a prick your OH is!!

And yet.... you’re having another child with this backward homophobic controlling man.

Apart from what's in my purse atm, no.

You know that’s bad don’t you?

Your DH can literally cut you off entirely from all money. So you have nothing.

You need to change your situation OP.

You don't need to be a girl to push a pram and nurture your teddies. My dad have me a train set and a tool box. I'm able to fix stuff from sewing through to putting shelf up. That's just good life skills.

Sorry you're going through this.

@hellhavenofury I was just going to say the same! Sorry Op, but I'd be telling him to sod off!

@hellhavenofury I'll go halves with you and throw in a doll too!

I still have access to our bank account, the question was do I have access to money that he can't access, and the answer to that is no. Because we have a shared bank account.

DH and I have had rows over pink or rainbow coloured toys but he would never react the way your DP did. I think you have bigger issues than him being a homophobe.

He's a cunt and he's abusing you financially and emotionally/psychologically. Sorry. But you know it really.

He says that he's asked loads of people in work and they all agree with him.

What job do they do?