To ask you to be brutally honest with me

[mommathatwearspink]

I’m 29, 5ft1 and weigh 16st10. I get out of be breath easily, my back and feet hurt and I struggle to walk when I get out of bed in the morning and my feet are so stiff. I never feel attractive or confident and my DP said he found me more attractive when I was slimmer.
Before I got pregnant with my first DC (7yrs ago) I was just over 9st, confident and could buy pretty much whatever clothes I wanted.
I’ve tried to loose weight so many times that I’ve lost count and food just takes over my life.
I need other people’s brutal honesty, I need people to tell me how it is...

Op I'm 16st 7lbs and am on the same journey. If you would like a buddy to chat to pm me x

It’s very personal so it’s hard to advise what works for one person doesnt necessarily work for another.

My push point was a routine medical. My bmi 27 which is ok but is overweight and at 45 knew if I carried on I would just get larger. 3 months later bmi 21 and I feel and look so much better. Hope it works out for you op

Op

Who the hell I to ‘tell you how it is’

What I find useful is
Stop thinking about weights and fat and appearance

Start thinking about you , your health and how you will feel better if you exercise

And baby steps , just introduce ONE positive step a week

And stop buying the bad stuff

Good luck

Sounds silly but I eat my meals on a breakfast plate. Cut my portion size by at least a third

That's a lot of weight to gain in a relatively short space of time. Lots of good suggestions here but I reckon those numbers mean you've got a couple of pinch points in the day when you down a lot of food you oughtn't. Try to identify them - is it the late afternoon dip? Is it late at night? If the former, for a walk, if the latter - go to bed earlier and read or something. You need to short circuit and unlearn those bad habits. If its more general then little things like smaller plates, and keeping the dodgy food out of the house in the first place. I've had success with slimming world, but it's much maligned on here, so instead, take a leaf out of their book and make sure your plate has as much veg on it as possible so there is less room for carbs and fat

Can I suggest a slight mental shift? Rather than 'trying' to become a healthier version of yourself, really WANT to. (Try has possible failure built in)

Get really in touch with the part of you that desperately wants to succeed. I read a quote "When you really want something, it becomes the easiest thing in the world".

It's about removing resistance.

Also, if you can find a few other ways of getting what you get from food (comfort, distraction or whatever it is), that'll help.

What is it exactly you want us to say?

You are morbidly obese and must be feeling absolutely awful . You know what you need to do for your health mental and physical . 18 months ago I was going to the doctors as everything seemed to be going to pot in my body , my periods my mental health I was tired and
Miserable and sore , I lost 4.5 stone slow and steady doing WW and walking and feel like a new person and years younger . Make the decision and see it through and focus on how good you will feel .

What I found worked for me was routine and not overfilling myself . If I fucked up I just got back to eating well the next day I didn’t allow a binge to continue past one day .

Firstly you can do this. I would speak to your GP about any underlying issues. It's not just usual weight gain. It's an increase of over 3/4 of your initial body weight. This isn't going to disappear overnight, but see if your GP can recommend counselling, and a nutitionalist referral, and I would combine with a weightless app. Only weigh yourself once a month and you'll start to see it shift. Baby steps.

Do not do slimming world or anything that isn't sustainable long term. Get a plate which shows you your portions and if you're hungry between meals have a piece of fruit or 20 almonds but only one between each meal. Start walking more, drinking more water and if you find yourself hungry after dinner have a cup of full fat Greek yogurt with berries.

Seriously I do this with women who go from size 20+ to size 12/14 and the worst thing you can do is go on same crazy arse diet.

Slimming world and WW and the ilk are such successful businesses because you always end up going back.

And it won't be quick but unlike the methods where you drop huge amounts, it will be something you can stick to and the weight will stay off.

your unfit and overweight?

This can be remedied with a small amount of effort..

Start walking more (jog when fitter) 5k a day to get those steps up and calories burning, eat less.. you dont have to suddenly eat rabbit food but just eat less portion of what you eat now..

when your hungry, have a piece of fruit instead of crisps or biscuits.

my wifes dropped over 5 stone in the last 9 months doing as such and shes no gym fanatic.. shes now pushing to get into a size12..

good luck..

OP I lost weight a few years ago.

I started gradually by switching to healthy snacks to manage the hunger pangs. I also made an effort to walk more, which due to my disabilities was easier said than done.

Portion control at home helped, DH and I ate big meals at Uni but I was slimmer then as I walked so much more. I hadn't reduced portions enough to factor in the fact that I was less active after graduation, especially with my disability.

I set myself small targets and rewarded myself on reaching them by buying myself something I wanted like a nice scarf or some new makeup. It really helped with the motivation.

I also started wearing lipstick to help me resist the urge to snack, as I knew that eating would mess up the lipstick.

I had to be strict, as DH has the world's fastest metabolism and has always been underweight in BMI terms. So I couldn't remove unhealthy snacks from the home as DH needs them to try and gain weight. He switched to unhealthy snacks that I don't like so that I wouldn't be tempted.

Bless you, I'm overweight too and can relate to this. Current photos and videos of me make my heart sink as I look so young in the face and old and lumbering for the rest of me! What I'd suggest is go to bed earlier, try a couple of fasting days a week, go for walks to get fresh air and exercise, stop buying sugary rubbish, try to drink more water. Follow YouTube exercise videos, perhaps 10 minute "testers" just to get back into it gently. I'm also watching YouTube mindfulness and motivational speaker videos to try to appreciate my worth and garner some motivation. I'm considering having counselling too as I need to get to the root of the cause. This all may help you too, really hope it does and hope everyone's great advice helps you to be healthier.

Hi OP

Firstly, don't beat yourself up. Weight creeps up on people, people who have never been a large size will never understand how it can sneak up on you. Extra weight does not make you a bad person.

Secondly, I have been told my whole life, don't lose weight for other people, it has to be for you. Well I obviously really don't care about myself enough to lose weight. I have tried and tried and never stuck to anything enough. I recently gave birth to my first child and I made him a promise that I will lose the weight, that I will be able to go on the rides at the fair with him, run around the park with him etc. I haven't touched junk food since he was born, haven't even thought about it really. I can't let him down, I'm pushing 18st at 5ft6, I want him to have a full fun life, not being restricted by what I can physically manage.

What I'm saying, I think, is do it for your child. Think how upset you miss out on things because you can't manage them.

You will get there OP, good luck

Hi OP, I put on weight due to a back injury, I was about 200lb I guess? As soon as I was able to walk my dog (post op) the weight has kind of dropped off, and I'm probably around 150lb now. This has taken 7 months. I've now added some gentle pilates in for core strength.

Diet is still rather shite, but I limit cake/munchies and have cut out all alcohol.

Now walking alone is boring AF I find, but adding a dog in is completely game-changing. There's a site called Borrow My Doggy which is a kind of dating site for dogs.

Good luck OP.

I echo pp for rewarding yourself when you reach small milestones. Eg if I avoided rubbish snacking like crisps and chocolates ( we know what our own avoidable sins are) Monday to Friday and took a walk every day then on the weekend I could order myself that top I wanted/ buy myself a new item of makeup. And I only weighed myself once a month, on the first day of the month, as it gave me anxiety when some weeks it didn't shift. More likely to see results that way. Good luck.

Remember that
It's actually ok to feel a bit hungry sometimes. It makes you really really enjoy your food at meal times.

OP well done for taking first step coming on here. You know your weight is now at a dangerous level. There are loads of online hiit classes you can do from home. Take at your own pace. And increase your fitness with walking. But key is diet. Write a really honest food diary this week and be brutal with yourself. Use MyFitnessPal to look up your calorie intake. I lost a load of weight earlier this year doing 16:8 fasting (you will soon learn that being hungry won't kill you!) and eating 1000 calories a day during the week along with a long walk every day. I then had what I wanted at the weekend. I had a stone to lose and it came off in 6 weeks.

This is clearly bothering you a lot on so many levels. It's also dangerous for your health. You know that eating less and doing more exercise is the answer, yet you don't change your behaviour. There must be something for you to gain from maintaining the status quo. I do this too - it's very normal. I used to have a public speaking phobia. I now realize that I was afraid of being too successful for various reasons I won't go into, and the phobia gave me the perfect alibi. What's your reason? Do you need a scapegoat for all your problems? Are you blaming everything that goes wrong in your life on your weight? Are you scared that if you lost the weight, your life wouldn't suddenly be perfect and you'd have to face your other issues? Or are you scared of the "success" that you think will come with weight loss?

Come and join us over in Moving Down in May in the weightloss section. Here people are losing various amounts of weight by different methods. It is a very friendly group with no judgement. We all know that it is harder to lose weight at the moment but are supporting each other.

Forgot to say that I do PE with Joe wicks every morning on YouTube. He's great at motivating you. It's actually quite tough but fun and happy and because it's live every morning it helps with your motivation to do it. He's not bad to look at either! 😉

What about low carb for now? I have a big appetite and find I don't feel as if I'm dieting when I do this. Get yourself some dumbells start using them at home you can tone your arms/upper body whilst sitting. Walking is good for cardio but if you don't like 1 hour walks (I don't) do you have space for a mini-trampoline at home? Good workout, easy on the joints. If you have stairs you can do step ups, gets the heart rate going. Squats. .? I have days when I set myself a challenge, 20 squats each time I enter the kitchen. 5 times a day is 100 squats, better than nothing. I hold back of a chair do side & back leg raises too whilst I'm waiting for kettle to boil or some such. YouTube has some great beginner home workouts. Just start something, however small. Im in pretty good shape & did it at home. Following a dedicated weight loss forum could help you too.

How are you going OP?