Nothing less sexy...

[Coronaaapetite]

AIBU in thinking there is nothing less appealing than a fully grown man playing computer/console games?

There are so many threads on Mumsnet moaning about these manchildren and I just can't get the image of a slightly tubby, sweaty, hairy man sitting in the dark, surrounded by crisp packets, hunched over a screen swearing at whoever is on the other end....yuck, right?

I don't find it attractive but mainly because I was a gaming widow for 12 years. The house was a mess while I worked my arse off working, studying and looking after the children. He worked but as soon as he got home it was chill time. His entire life was football and gaming and we did not fit in to that schedule. No way would I ever date someone like that again.

Such games are the normal for small children and teenagers seem to get hooked on them, but adults? No, you should have grown out of such things by now. I have never, ever played a computer game in my life and never shall.

Nothing like making judgements on something you admit to knowing nothing about WanderingMilly 😂

There are many, many games with rich and complex storylines and characters that you get to know in much the same way as characters in beloved novels. And in these games you are making decisions which change the outcomes of the story. It certainly isn’t all simple shooting and mindless violence. Nor is it childish. Most games I play would not be suitable for children because of the adult themes within the story.

Henry Cavill is a gamer...

Such games are the normal for small children and teenagers seem to get hooked on them, but adults? No, you should have grown out of such things by now.

See it's this kind of thing that makes me totally lose respect from the anti gaming side of the argument. Usually these people have no problem with people spending hours watching TV. Society has been largely based around leisure activities that "waste time" for centuries, and yet when it comes to gaming suddenly you get all these people who think the only acceptable things for adults to do are housework and accounts.

No. If you don't think watching a game show or a film on TV, or doing a crossword or board game is a childish waste of time that no adult should be doing, then you are being ridiculously hypocritical.

Adults play games as well as kids, that's not new.

Bold fail, sorry 🙄

I game, I don’t let it impact my family, I do it at night when DH has taken himself upstairs to read a Star Trek book (usually!) before bed and when my twins have been asleep for a good hour or so. So I don’t see any issue where a partner games but keeps it out of the day-to-day.

My twins love seeing a bit of Yonder or Stardew Valley (peaceful games - no stress types) because they’re bright colourful and fun, like watching a picture book on screen. I read the characters dialogue to them, use it as a visual aid to teach them words that static pictures just don’t get across as well to them.

I do agree that anybody who uses gaming (or any other hobby) as an excuse to neglect relationships or as an opt out of parenting annoying and childish - but the hobby in of itself is just that - a hobby.

There are some lovely stories about people who struggle to connect in the real world finding deep friendships online, I’m not much into gaming online, but I wouldn’t decry the whole experience just because I don’t like it!

Surely if the selfishness rather than the gaming itself? Nothing wrong with playing as long as they help around the house, you spend time together as well and they aren't just glued to it all of the time? I quite often play when DS is in bed and the housework etc has been done as I can never find anything I want to watch on telly. I'm sure DH doesn't find me in my pyjamas eating doritos with my hair scraped back whilst playing overly attractive either, but oh well. And why would someone start a thread or post about their partner who just plays sometimes and it causes no issues?

Stereotypical misandrist bovine.

I agree. Revolts me that fully grown men play computer games!

I agree, I can't imagine how I'd feel towards my husband if he started to spend ages (or just play at all) video games, it's such a 'teenage' thing to do and not something I'd find attractive in fully grown adults. Surely there's always something better to do than play on your XBox or PlayStation? I just don't get the appeal at all. If he suddenly found the time to do that I'd soon find lots of chores and diy that needed to be done asap.

Henry Cavill is a PC gamer...

Oh, yah.

Surely if the selfishness rather than the gaming itself?

Absolutely correct. When it starts to become more important, or take up an unreasonable amount of time that isn't agreed, then it's an issue.

I love football, and I often here some awful stereotyping about football fans. There are countless lads with dads, sisters, mums, grandparents all having a brilliant time together at football matches, but still an assumption that it's just for thugs.

Same for gamers. Lots of them chat (like folks do here) and use the game as the catalyst. It's no different that people here being sharing parenthood, but then chatting about all manner of other worldly things.

As for the addictive aspects - this place has plenty of addicted posters too, and I expect it often takes up more time than is healthy.

Well if I start chores or DIY in the night I’d probably get complaints from the neighbours, wake my children and DH - honestly it’s just a hobby, it’s not just a ‘teenage’ thing at all 😂

I personally find somebody who constantly talks about soaps and reality TV perplexing - I don’t much like either of those genres nor do I get why people get so involved with the stories and characters and who cheated on who etc, but I wouldn’t say it’s unattractive just because I don’t do it myself IYSWIM?

I find it funny that people still have such a narrow view of one of the most lucrative industries in the modern world.

I agree, I can't imagine how I'd feel towards my husband if he started to spend ages (or just play at all) video games, it's such a 'teenage' thing to do and not something I'd find attractive in fully grown adults.

And yet here you are, chatting with strangers on the internet, often for hours on end... which is also 'such a teenage thing to do'.

I'm playing devil's advocate (and it's not really meant to be a person criticism) - but it's just illustrating how perception is everything. Reality is something quite different.

Surely there's always something better to do than play on your XBox or PlayStation?

There's always something better to do than post on MN, and yet here we all are.

Revolts me that fully grown men play computer games!

What about fully grown women playing computer games? There's plenty of us about.

As a pp said, it's no more "childish" than watching cartoons (South Park anyone?), sci fi/fantasy films (Star Wars, Star Trek, Marvel, Avatar), reading fiction, or even watching any form of fiction on TV for that matter.

It's only considered "childish" because that's how society has defined it, a throw back from the days when leisure time was very rare and precious so needed to be dedicated to things that really matter. Now we have so much more leisure time and many different ways to fill it, but I think the term "gaming" is one of the reasons it's more stigmatised than other hobbies or pastimes. And better gaming than gambling which seems to be increasingly popular, is more addictive and has potentially much worse outcomes for the participant!

If he suddenly found the time to do that I'd soon find lots of chores and diy that needed to be done asap.

And he would just waddle off and do as he's told rather than what he wants? :o

How attractively adult.

wow OP what a stereotype.

when I met DH I was so happy that he prefers gaming from home rather than going out all night like my previous partners.

he goes to the gym, looks after himself, has a career, does 50% of the house work, why on earth would I be upset about him gaming?

When DD was born, I would do a feed about 9pm ish, then my ex-H would take over whilst I got 4/5 hours interrupted sleep. He used the time whilst DD was asleep during that time to play games.

Damn right I found a guy who helps during the night and facilitated me getting much needed sleep sexy

Is there ever a thread on here that mentions computer gaming where the OP doesn't feel neglected due to it? I know it can be very addictive, just seems a huge drain on time to me...especially when you have children or work.

I've been with my OH for 18 months. I know he plays computer games but I've never actually seen him do this, in 18 months. He runs, cycles, goes for long walks, does many household chores, cooks, looks after his DC, plays music, goes to festivals. I've seen him do all those things, but not seen him gaming. So I'm not going to start a thread on it because it's not problematic. Rather like the way millions of people drink alcohol, but it's the addicts who are the problem.

He's also very sexy, but to be honest not necessarily when he's wearing heavy-duty washing up gloves and trying to get the DC to behave. There's no directive that states everything he does has to be a turn on. Same goes for me.

You're wrong.

There's nothing less sexy than a slightly tubby, middle -aged woman knitting.

It's so weird how women in particular feel able to Nash men about a partial hobbies.

Now if this was a bloke saying something like "there's nothing less sexy than a woman who likes to play computer games"

They'd be told to do one.

I don't mind. I'm a woman's and I enjoy playing video games. In the evening, we often sit together on the sofa and he will play his games on Playstation and I will play mine on the laptop :)

A friend of mine met her future husband playing online games, he lived in another country - she moved out there, married, and now they have 3 kids together. Gaming is still a big part of their life.

And my DP is underweight, and has only recently started gaining due to drinking gainer shakes as he hates being so slim. I'm bigger than him although still a normal weight.

Attraction is subjective. I bet there are things about your DP that would turn me right off.

Are you saying Mumsnet had double standards? That... that... just CAN NOT be true!!!

Henry Cavill is a huge video game fan.
I still would......