Nothing less sexy...

[Coronaaapetite]

AIBU in thinking there is nothing less appealing than a fully grown man playing computer/console games?

There are so many threads on Mumsnet moaning about these manchildren and I just can't get the image of a slightly tubby, sweaty, hairy man sitting in the dark, surrounded by crisp packets, hunched over a screen swearing at whoever is on the other end....yuck, right?

Nothing less clever than an OP deliberately designed to antagonise with no consideration of nuance...

Indeed.
Also note its a rather goady interesting subject for a first post under that username....

YABU and ridiculous. Dh plays console games but is the very opposite of a slobby, juvenile, lazy husband and father. Doing any hobby to excess and to the detriment of your marriage and family is unattractive and unpleasant. It's got nothing to do with gaming itself.

Is there ever a thread on here that mentions computer gaming where the OP doesn't feel neglected due to it? I know it can be very addictive, just seems a huge drain on time to me.

Yep, the operative words here are "can be". Also it's only a huge drain on time if you... spend a huge amount of time on it. Also, considering the vast amounts of time a lot of people accumulate just mucking about on their phones, I don't think wasting time through excessive screen time is exclusive to gaming husbands.

Are you saying Mumsnet had double standards? That... that... just CAN NOT be true!!!

Truth will not be tolerated. Censored accordingly.

I agree with you Op - can’t stand man-children. I don’t think I’d be attracted to a 30-something man who played computer games to “relax”. Not keen on men who put watching football/sports matches/going to the pub high on their list of priorities either.

My dh’s preferred activities include things like gardening/hiking/sailing - good outdoor healthy pursuits!

Nothing less attractive than a 45 yr old man clad in lycra fuckin off for two days imagining he’s in the Tour de France 🤣
Surely for all the paranoid mums on here, gaming keeps him at home 🤣

I've never understood the argument that games are for children. Loads are explicitly made for adults!! Every time a teen playing GTA is mentioned everyone screams that's only for adults!

Surely there's always something better to do than play on your XBox or PlayStation?

Yes. Sometimes I read. Sometimes I study Russian. Sometimes I exercise. Sometimes I study for my uni course. Sometimes I decide I want to play a video game.

No sorry I love a man with a good understanding of tactics, and who knows how to keep out of the fire.

The problem with this sort of thread is that it invites posts from people who so desperately don't want their partner to be seen as the "stereotypical gamer" that they go out of their way to to list all their positive attributes, and there's literally no need. You don't have to prove that it's ok for your DP to play because he ALSO does this and that and has this degree and goes to the gym this amount of times. If you or your DP have a hobby and it has no detrimental impact on your life then great, but please don't feel like you have to prove anything to anyone about how they make up for it in other ways. sod what everyone else thinks.

Tell us what your hobbies are OP so we can discard them with a stereotype too.

*I agree with you Op - can’t stand man-children. I don’t think I’d be attracted to a 30-something man who played computer games to “relax”. Not keen on men who put watching football/sports matches/going to the pub high on their list of priorities either.

My dh’s preferred activities include things like gardening/hiking/sailing - good outdoor healthy pursuits!*

But life's not like that is it...

Some are family loving, children friendly men who like to spend an hour in the evening playing a game.
Some are beer swilling, misogynists who'd rather go mountain climbing than spend time with the kids.

Then what?

Some folks need a BFG pointing at 'em!

Surely there's always something better to do than watch crap on Netflix or post on Mumsnet? Surely there's something better to do then read a magazine or watch the soaps with some wine in the evening. We all do things that have no real benefit other than entertainment surely?

just seems a huge drain on time

a bit like Mumsnet

Henry Cavill is a gamer...

Yup! As are Daniel Craig, Mila Kunis, Vin Diesel, Elijah Wood, Megan Fox and Zac Effron to name a few!

Granted, I'm not attracted to all of those I listed but I don't think people would ever think of them as fat, hairy, sweaty slobs...

I've never understood the argument that games are for children. Loads are explicitly made for adults!!*

Besides which, adults have always played games, for thousands of years before consoles were invented. There is nothing inherently more childish about console games than any other games (unless you deliberately choose ones aimed at young children).

My dh’s preferred activities include things like gardening/hiking/sailing - good outdoor healthy pursuits!

They aren't mutually exclusive you know! My dh loves (among other things) walking, running, fishing, swimming, gardening, reading, playing a musical instrument... and playing console games. He is also a headteacher and history teacher and has on many occasions found that talking to the kids about computer games has been a great way of getting to know them and finding common ground, especially with kids with problems. But no, obviously gaming makes him an unattractive, lazy twat who neglects his family.

My husband does occasional gaming and I don't mind at all. I would if he was at it all the time, but he pulls his weight and more round the house and with the DC, only does it one night or so a week, it's his main way of socialising with his friends during lockdown and he's not damp, tubby or surrounded by crisp packets.

A few people have mentioned it but the irony of people talking about gaming being a waste of time and saying "surely there is always something better to do", whilst sat on mumsnet talking to strangers (about gaming, no less), is rather comical.

I've recently finished a long video game with a story as rich as any Netflix drama of recent years, full of logic puzzles, challenges and historical facts, and I now have a lot more time for sitting on Mumsnet sharing my opinion with strangers who aren't all that bothered and are unlikely to change theirs because of anything I say. Guess which one feels more like a waste of time? And guess which one is actually more antisocial towards my partner, who played the game with me?

verticalhorizon lazylinguist

Whoa a bit of a jump there! Just posting my own opinion - luckily my dh isn’t a beer swilling misogynist either! Also I don’t think playing computer games occasionally means someone is necessarily a lazy twat - I just don’t find it an attractive personality trait personally - It’s not an attack on people’s individual husbands!

Agreed. All real men are like Christian Grey, no video games, ever, hobbies aside from the obvious are mostly earning zillions, dancing, and taking his SO shopping.

It's his hobby/passtime. It doesn't need to be sexy to you, its his thing.

I am happy my DH plays, it is his relaxing hobby and he plays with his brother remotely which is sweet. He will always stop playing and help me or pay attention to me, I never feel sidelined. He is very keen that is the case.

However I've dated men who obviously prefer gaming over everything, including me! Which is not ok.

So it really depends on the guy and not on the gaming.

Surely there's always something better to do than play on your XBox or PlayStation?

What is it you like to do then, Durham?

Reading? Waste of time when the bathroom could be painted.

TV? Childish, brain numbing nonsense. Better get deep cleaning the oven instead.

Mumsnet? Shallow, pointless rubbish. You should be putting up shelves.

The gym? Full of airheads with over inflated egos just trying to show off. Surely you’d be better off replanting the garden, much less self absorbed.

Sometimes men do things that are not designed to be attractive to women, or other men. Who knew! They're people, just like us.

Whoa a bit of a jump there! Just posting my own opinion - luckily my dh isn’t a beer swilling misogynist either! Also I don’t think playing computer games occasionally means someone is necessarily a lazy twat - I just don’t find it an attractive personality trait personally - It’s not an attack on people’s individual husbands

It wasn't a dig... promise. It's just illustrating the complexity of real life. An indoor hobby can be healthy, an outdoor one unhealthy etc...

You may not have intended it, and it's not reflection of you personally, but you just happened to illustrate how we associate some activities as negative character traits and others as positive.

'Watching sports on TV' characterised as a negative, but 'GOOD healthy outdoor activities' as positive.

So the response was really just to illustrate how much more complex real life is.

Also I don’t think playing computer games occasionally means someone is necessarily a lazy twat - I just don’t find it an attractive personality trait personally

It's not really a personality trait though, is it? Personality traits are things like kindness, selfishness, confidence etc. Having a particular hobby doesn't usually mean you have the same personality as all the other people who do that hobby. I'm a knitter. That's not a personality trait either. It's also been mentioned as an 'unsexy' hobby on this thread. Personally I think anyone who lets their choice of leisure activities be dicated by how sexy they seem is an idiot.

AIBU to think there is nothing less appealing than a fully grown woman sitting on MN, shitting on other adults perfectly acceptable hobbies without a hint of irony?

I can’t get the image of a slightly tubby woman surrounded by empty bottles of gin out of my head.