Nothing less sexy...

[Coronaaapetite]

AIBU in thinking there is nothing less appealing than a fully grown man playing computer/console games?

There are so many threads on Mumsnet moaning about these manchildren and I just can't get the image of a slightly tubby, sweaty, hairy man sitting in the dark, surrounded by crisp packets, hunched over a screen swearing at whoever is on the other end....yuck, right?

Yes actually my DH does have a perfectly good haircut atm. He let it grow for a bit but he was due a cut already at the start of lockdown, it’s very thick and grows quickly and it was getting uncomfortable and he felt it was looking unprofessional on virtual meetings. So he ordered some clippers and he’s now sporting a short back and sides, longer on the top, not that dissimilar to what he would usually get at the barbers. Doesn’t seem all that far out of the bounds of normal experience to me...

Well I don't think my dp plays playstation to try and be sexy. I'm sure he doesn't find me sexy when I'm sitting in my old joggers and hoodie with my hair scraped back and pissing around on Mumsnet, but he doesn't complain.
Neither of us are tubby, sweaty or overly hairy.

@VerticalHorizon oh good, I was wondering where I had got it from!

Whoever thinks gaming is stupid compare to physical sports. Have a look at prize pools for championships. It's not stupid and it is actually considered a sport in some way.

Oh. And stop being idiots🤷🏻 Bet half of "omg gaming is stupid" watches shit like Love Island and Big Brother

I think it's okay if they're on it just for a couple of hours at the weekend. But if they were on it all day and night, I'd be deeply unhappy. Same goes for the tv!!!

What a stupid stereotype.

Is gaming now going to be the next weekly MN bile thread along with non drivers, dogs and fat people?

I’ve always found it amusing that so many of the posters here who have a huge problem with gaming are the same people who treat Mumsnet like it’s a full-time job.

I'm sure gamers think we're a bit twatty for spending our time talking shit to strangers on Mumsnet, but hey ho. Just don't shack up with each other and carry on doing whatever makes you happy I say.

I'm sure gamers think we're a bit twatty for spending our time talking shit to strangers on Mumsnet

I don't think they do.
I was mocking that just to put a different perspective on we can perceive a lot of hobbies as nerdy, or a waste of time etc.

Lots of gamers chat with each other too, so it becomes a community like here. I think they 'get it'.

Its all about moderation clearly. When the kids are in bed and we relax and DH wants to play computer games, then thats fine by my. Its no different from watching tv together. I like that he wants to do something by himself sometimes, that way i can watch my series or read a book. Sometimes i play with him, its actually quite fun! But it can be very addictive and i dont handle that aspect well, so i try to steer clear!
If it happened every night all night long and we didnt spend any time together, then that would obviously bother me. Thats the same with every hobby though. One of my friends is a huge soccer fanatic. He watches a game every single day. If there is no game on, he watches replays... I would hate that if i was his partner.

And of course on this platform women complain about gaming husbands. Its a platform to seek help with problems, so if the gaming isnt excessive, then why start a thread?

Gaming is fun! And as long as it doesnt take over completely, its not a problem. This goes for every single activity/hobby.

As much as the addictive aspect aspect can be a problem, and this is hard to explain, but time really IS distorted when you play a very compelling game. Some would say the same of an engrossing book.

I play guitar, and it's incredible how what 'seems' like an hour can easily become 3 hours or 4 hours. Many will say if they dance, go jogging, play an instrument, or play a game - for a few hours, they become so engrossed in that activity, it helps them to stop thinking about worries, or negative stuff. Probably intertwined with the addictive nature of it.

Lots of gamers chat with each other too, so it becomes a community like here. I think they 'get it'.

Yes but they are chatting AND playing. Some might say this means they are spending their spare time more wisely than OP is.

Agree with you, OP. I could never live with a man who plays games. Huge turn-off.

" I also have an issue with the games I see youngsters playing which involve endless violence, killing people or monsters or whatever"

"I have never ever seen a game which, for instance, involves nothing more than a pleasant walk down a virtual country lane to look at the scenery (and without accompanying noise/music and so on)."

Now maybe it's just my sweaty, lazy, immature, junk food addled gamer brain not working properly but you've never ever seen a game that isn't just a pleasant stroll around virtual scenery but they're also full of innocent slaughtering violence?

If you're going to be ignorant about something at least be consistent about it.

My uncle had a go at me for gaming once.
I politely reminded him that all the while he was stuck in front of the TV like a zombie, my mind was actually doing something.

He never mentioned it again.

It's all in moderation. If your other half spends hours in front of it every day, you've got a problem. If not what's the harm.

There are few things more sexy than my girlfriend's adorable frown of concentration when she's carefully selecting her materia for FFVII.

Doesn't matter if she's unshowered in her pyjamas.

I have never ever seen a game which, for instance, involves nothing more than a pleasant walk down a virtual country lane to look at the scenery (and without accompanying noise/music and so on).

Get on Steam. Sort by category. There are so many games that are non-violent. Although why someone would want a "game" of simply looking at a virtual countryside I do not know, because that wouldn't make a good book or TV show, and you could actually go outside to do that. There would likely be puzzle elements and mystery involved.

I mean, there are Virtual Reality simulators. There are even sim rpg games with no VR - running a farm for example, where the only violence would be slaughtering an animal for meat.

There is a game on Steam where you walk around a house and uncover the memories and secrets of the family that lived there.

It can't be denied that lots of games are based on shooting stuff (and people).

Then again, it can't be denied that Killing Eve (BBC) is a hugely popular equivalent TV show.

But F1 and Gran Turismo type racing games are massive - no killing at all.

There are lots of adventure and exploration games that aren't about shooting - just mystery or exploration... utterly immersive, without violence.

If you were to compare this to books, you could say Stephen King is a HUGELY popular author, but there is horror and violence in that genre.
Robert Ludlum with violence...
Jackie Collins with sex...
Even Agatha Christie is death galore!

But for all of those, there are plenty more Chick Lit genre selling well too.

It's the same with gaming.

Lots of games that involve exploring worlds... but they are usually more involved than JUST roaming around... the roaming is part of the fascination (with amazing scenery, sounds, experiences), but with some sense of gameplay too... to complete a task, to 'search' for something, to solve a puzzle etc.

But still, it's not killing.

The parallels between books, tv and console games are incredible... they really should be considered 3 types of immersion...
And all three overlap in the ways they engage you, the reader, watcher, player.

If you want horror - it's there. If you want violence it's there. If you want sex, that's there too... and if you just want some trivial nonsense... you can have that as well.

"Agree with you, OP. I could never live with a man who plays games. Huge turn-off."

And what about sitting on mn bitching about people's hobbies.

Is that...sexy?

Get on Steam. Sort by category. There are so many games that are non-violent. Although why someone would want a "game" of simply looking at a virtual countryside I do not know, because that wouldn't make a good book or TV show, and you could actually go outside to do that. There would likely be puzzle elements and mystery involved.

I play Stardew Valley. It's looking after a farm - planting crops, raising animals etc. You have to go fishing/mining (you do have to kill things in the mining because bats/blobs/ghosts attack you). You have tasks to complete and make friends with the other villagers. The game is designed like the old ones I used to play in the late 80s/early 90s.

It's a gentle game where the only 'violence' is waving your sword around a bit.

OP, I saw a bit of advice on MN years ago which said ‘a selfish man can turn going to the toilet into a way to avoid his responsibilities’ and it really stuck with me. With these men (and cyclists, and men who spend all their time at work/ down the pub/ at the aquarium) the problem isn’t the hobby, the problem is always their attitude.

Not everyone who games is on them 24/7 though. Dh is more than capable of going on for 30-60 minutes at a time. He does it after the dc are in bed, usually while I go for a bath or a shower or when I fancy watching something on tv he's not interested in. He doesn't do it every night & is just as happy to watch as film, or sit in the garden with me if it's a nice evening. He's re landscaping the garden while he's furloughed as well as helping me try to teach the children something. Everything is split 50/50 atm so why shouldn't he do something he enjoys? Not that I begrudge him going on when he's a work either. I'd be mighty pissed off if he moaned about me sewing/gardening/painting just because it's not how he chooses to pass his free time (fwiw I do game but mainly in winter).