AIBU we have always drank alcohol DH is now “giving it up”

[LennyPugGoat]

I’m on so many meds for anxiety and depression, I know alcohol doesn’t help, but right now for me it does for me In my mind.
We have been in lockdown for so long, he can wfh, I can’t. Today it was announced no more alcohol, I’ve had a drink tonight but it’s not the same alone.

I haven’t left the house for weeks on end, I’m an introvert, I’m worried about the next 3 weeks.... Aibu to think now is n0t the time to change long standing routines?

He can cut out alcohol if he wants, it's entirely his choice.

I gave up alcohol over 3 years ago and my fiancé respected my decision. He has a beer a few times a week and I respect his decision. I regularly buy him beer.

Today’s update and I’m sure most will know it’s late because I haven’t become magically tea total but I have only had 2 glasses of red last night around this time and I’ve had 1 just now.

I didn’t sleep very well obviously and had some wacky dreams but taking the time for myself whilst furloughed I had a long lie in and a nap today.

I’ve also had some lovely private messages with links and behind the scenes support, I can’t thank you all enough.

That's a big cut back. It's going to take your brain time to get used to the new regime. Weird and whacky dreams are to be expected. But all the time the alcohol will have less power over you and your meds will be more effective. Keep it going!

You have done so well, half the battle is realising there is a problem and asking for help plus listening. You've done so well and I'm sorry if I was harsh. I had only read the OP when I posted and didn't know you have low MH. Take care. You did great last night.

Well done, Lenny.

Feel a bit silly wanting to update strangers on the internet about something so personally but you all shared so much it feels like a safe place.
No worries sunshine I needed a kick up the butt.

I went to bed the same time as DH last night after just two large glasses again, DH is on night 3 of no alcohol at all!

Didn’t sleep very well again and still very vivid dreams, I dreamt DH shaved my eyebrows off in my sleep I did get up at 7.45 to feed DDog and spend some time with him before DH got up to wfh and went back to bed till midday!

You are sleeping better if you are having vivid dreams , drunk sleep is not quality sleep at all despite you feeling it is

And how do you feel Lenny?

Also here to support you Lenny. You're doing great.

I'd suggest taking your mirtazipine early evening at a regular time say 8pm, it'll start to make you tired so you can go to bed earlier and help with the sleep.

I’m feeling fine I really am and I’m eating more which is a good thing.
We have moved dinner to a later time and taken out the glass of white (bottle) whilst cooking and eating dinner so by the time we have eaten, tidied up played some cards etc when we settle down it is much nearer 9pm than 7pm. I’m drinking full fat coke to help replace all the missing sugar.

Di11Y thank you, I’ll give that a try, might get to bed before midnight and I’m going to try listening to a relaxation app to see if I can fall asleep a bit easier, took ages last night.

If you're drinking Coke after about 3pm, the caffeine could contribute towards insomnia and weird, fractured dreams - DP is horrendous when he drinks it in the evening, kicking and shouting out so much I end up decamping and telling him to switch to something else when he emerges in the morning, complaining of not sleeping very well

In terms of calories and sugar, you'd be better off with pasta than that, especially as that can help give you a warm, sleepy feeling.

But you're doing great!

You're doing so well and using so many sensible strategies! Full fat coke probably should be replaced by something caffeine free, but otherwise great stuff!

Weird and vivid dreams are pretty normal. There's a lot of research going on at the moment to show that people are dreaming more vividly than usual in lockdown in any case, so that will be a contributing factor. And dreaming in general is healthy - it's a sign of your brain processing things.

That’s interesting around the dreams and if I think back to the last few weeks I have remembered dreams more than before it and they are always totally out there, quite stressful so I’m lucky enough not to have to get up and go to work.

I did get DH to buy some grown up squashes today which he is drinking so I’ll swap on to them tomorrow, drinking them during the day. I’ve taken my tablet and planning on one large glass at half past.

I can obviously do this so instead of being too gradual and granting myself too much I might as well just get on with it. I’m joining a zoom AA meeting tomorrow evening - eek!!

Try to avoid lie ins and day naps if you are trying to cut down.
You'll have more energy and won't sleep well at night. The night evening is your trigger can you get up early stay up and get an early night.

Good luck with your meeting.

Good for you.

Excellent about AA, OP. But if you don't feel comfortable in the group, try another. Every AA group is slightly different.

Oh Lenny you sound so positive! I think not drinking at all probably is the best way forward for you and you can do it.

Tell your husband to try ginger cordial with fizzy water - it has a really nice bite to it.

I hope you had another good day OP

You're doing amazing Lenny! I hope the zoom meeting went well. And I hope you're proud of how well you've been doing.

My word OP, you are doing GREAT!! Be proud of yourself for that - beating addiction is a big thing and you are rocking it!

Wow OP.
You've come a long way in 2 days so a massive well done.
I hope the AA meeting is helpful to you as well.
You are doing all the right things now so keep going!

Oops, tonight has gone wrong. Didn’t have the courage in the end to join the meeting, even online ffs.

I did join a zoom meeting for well-being, mindfulness and some spiritual guidance though. I kept having to hide from DC and ducking from room to room for connection and everyone all had a “chilled glass of wine at hand’ at 7pm.

We finished at 8ish it was a good call and I mentioned to DH, that’s the first time I’ve wanted a glass of white since last weekend, I was taking DC to the shop for some fresh juice and chocolate so DH said grab a Bottle then”

Settled Dc down and cracked open the white, asked if he wanted a glass, no... I’ll cut to the chase I’ve now had 1 glass of white a bottle of red. Now sitting on my own and I know I will have a glass of white I don’t need...

Ffs, sorry, but I suppose I know where I went wrong and what I’ll do diff tomorrow. He is doing so well, not a drop since last week and here am I... I hope my posting helps others, I’m doing ok climbing this rock face on my own, every time I look up to the sky a goat shits on my head from further up...

I won’t post again tonight and will be back tomorrow for day 1 again.

Well, put that one down and head to bed. Tomorrow's a new day.