Wouldn't you know its Mother's Day so of course MIL drama

[Leaannb]

Today my MIL called and decided that since our lockdown is ending on Tuesday it was time for her to make plans with my family. First she started in about my son's high school graduation which was originally planned for next weekend. It was cancelled a few weeks ago and they did a drive by graduation. Mil was informed of this by email by my son and myself. Of course we didn't get a reply. Needless to say she was upset that she missed it. Sorry for her but the island is closed until Tuesday so she couldn't attend anyway. She then stated she would be here next weekend to say goodbye to the same son because he was scheduled to leave for basic training next Monday. But due to Covid and early graduation he got offered the opportunity to leave earlier so he took it. He informed her once again by email and of course no reply. To be honest today is the first time we have heard from her since very early December when she got her knickers in a twist that we were going on vacation for the holidays. I don't understand that because we always go on vacation during Christmas holidays but anyway....Next thing on her agenda was wanting to visit around my DILs due date which was May 19th but she had her baby by c-section two weeks ago. Once again she was informed by email and no response.Obviously she is disappointed but what can I do. She then went on to say that she would be arriving on Island by Wednesday so she can meet the baby. I then told her that Son and DIl were following the advice of their OB/GYN not to introduce the baby for 12 weeks due to Covid and Kawasaki Disease and in fact has decided to keep all visitors away from baby until after the tourist season which is October. Which is completely understandable considering where we live,tourisim traffic and very iffy medical care at this time. She started to lose it but reined it in. Right until she asked me for photos of my granddaughter and my DIL's phome number. I politely informed her that I did not have permission from my son and Dil to share pictures and most definitely didn't have their permission to share phone numbers. I told her I would pass her number along to my son and dil and they would handle it as they see fit. Thats when she lost the plot freaked out and started yelling and screaming. I just sat down the phone and took my daughter to the beach for swimming and a picnic.....She definitely put a dark cloud on my Mother's Day

[Leaannb]

Allfalldown47...I'm unhinged because I won't send pictures of another person's child to someone when if they want to send pictures of the child they have the email to send it. After all the birth annoumcement was sent to her when ot was promptly ignored.....But I'm the unhinged one. This is not my business

[MinecraftMother]

Meanies.

[Leaannb]

@NagevMama....I'm so sorry that happened to you. Jigs from across the pond

[Leaannb]

@MinecraftMother.....How are we being meanies?

[Fairyliz]

Anyone else picturing a elderly Mexican lady who is head of a drugs cartel and has different phones for different deals? Are there men with large moustaches and machine guns protecting her from the FBI and CIA or whoever ?
(disclaimer been watching too many made for tv American movies during lockdown).
This all sounds totally unreal.

[Leaannb]

@Justcallmebebes....Yes it is so strange for parents to make decisions about their child and even stranger when people respect those decisions

[iamthankful]

OP you sound like a very difficult person, I wonder what your DIL thinks of you, what goes around comes around...If there was an AIBU poll on this thread, I can imagine it would be 99% you are BU.

[Leaannb]

@FairyLiz....Nothing like that. Just a woman who worked hard all her life to save up for her dream retirement traveling... Nothing heinous like drug dealimg

[DamnYankee]

This section of the beach and another section of the sound is my personal property

I cannot believe someone questioned you about this . Super jealous, though.

She sounds difficult. She's probably been difficult for a while. We do the best we can when people are difficult. Sounds like you tried. You're right to let new mom and dad handle pictures.

I'd let DH handle it from here out.

Happy Mother's Day!

[slipperywhensparticus]

Someone has actually started a thread about this saying how nasty YOU are for not sharing pictures when mil has already ignored the photo she was sent 🤷‍♀️ I'm baffled people find that so soul destroying they are willing to overlook mils behaviour personally I think they are reaching to lay the blame solely at your door

[Leaannb]

@Iamthankful...My dil is very appreciative of me for respecting her wishes and her boundaries and letting her make decisions for her family. Instead of thinking I can do whatever I want becaise faaaamily..But thanks for your concern. I just love how you are trying to use my Dil to demonize me when the only thing I did was respect her

[Leaannb]

@DamnYankee...If you ever make it to the Outer Banks I have a lovely 3 bedroom cottage on sound side with a private boat/jet ski slip for you to use

[LightStars]

Oh ffs, why on earth is the OP getting such a hard time? Oh yeah, because she’s a woman & this is wife work.

OP’s son is old enough to be married & have a baby therefore if he wants his grandmother to have baby pictures then it’s down to him to send them & no one else - OP has already said she’ll pass on her MIL’s phone number to facilitate this, the rest is now up to him. Who knows, maybe he has sent pictures already but MIL doesn’t know as she cant be bothered to check emails.

OP’s MIL has chosen to live a transient lifestyle, to not check her emails & has also not bothered to call her family in 6 months when she knows they have no number to contact her - missing out on information & feeling “excluded” is a consequence of her own behaviour, not the OP’s.

Anything could have happened to a member of OP’s family in the last 6 months & MIL wouldn’t have a bloody clue. There’s a global pandemic going on ffs & MIL still couldn’t be bothered to get in touch until now & people think she’s the one who’s hard done by?! Please.

As for the rest, yes shock horror, OP is a DM / MIL who treats her adult DS & DIL as adults & respects their privacy / boundaries!!

[alexdgr8]

you sound like you are dealing with a difficult customer, in a work setting. maybe it's a personality thing, but you sound so defensive.
there is no warmth, of humour, or empathy.
this must be an elderly lady, living alone, travelling about with only a motor home as a base; no one to come home to, it must be risky esp at her age, s a woman to be so exposed.
whatever the back story, can you not try to be a bit more friendly to her, reach out. you sound very well off, and good for you, could you not share the good fortune a little and buy her a good reliable modern phone, and maybe pay the monthly contract, one with good internet connection. from the family as a mothers day present.
draw a line under any previous disagreements.
she gave birth to your husband. for his sake try to honour her.

[Justcallmebebes]

Can't be bothered with this anymore but I do feel sorry for your Mexican gangsta, drug dealing MIL. She sounds cool and you and your weird DIL sound very uptight and strange

[saraclara]

TF? Since when does a baby's Great Grandmother have to beg for photos, and for the Grandmother to get parental permission to send any?

What on earth is the family dynamic that would lead to that? And she doesn't get to see her great grandchild for six months, but still no more photos?

This is insane. And what's even more insane is that a number pf posters agree with this.

[snowybean]

I'm confused. Have your son and DIL explicitly said they don't want to share photos? Or just said don't send a photo to your MIL?

[snowybean]

@saraclara I am with you! This baffles me.

[Redshoeblueshoe]

This thread is fucking weird.
I expect it will be deleted by the time I wake up in the morning

[Leaannb]

@Alexdgr8....She isn't lonely at all
She has very close friends across the North America. She chose this lifestyle because it was her lifelong dream. Shes not alone. Shes with jer husband of 15 years traveling in North America in an RV that costs more than my main house and land. I live in a 6 bedroom house on an Island on beach. Not cheap. She is only 17 years older than me. So please...

[snowybean]

I couldn't be bothered to send a photo to everyone when my baby was born a few months ago. I was just too busy looking after her. I just assumed members of my family would share them on my behalf to the wider family

[MyOtherProfile]

What's OBX?

[Leaannb]

@Snowybean....They told all of us not to share pictures through email and social media without their approval.

[Leaannb]

@MyOtherProfile.....Its a string of islands off the coast of North Carolina. In fact I live very,very close to the first colony goverened by John White and where the first English person born in the New World

[Bellagio40]

Are you sure she is receiving the emails? You say she hasn’t responded to any but are you sure she got them? Has she acknowledge she received the photo your son did send her?