AIBU - living in England completely insufferable?

[hellosunshine5]

As per the title really, I loved living here for a few years but I now just find the whole country completely insufferable.

Does anyone else feel the same?

For what it’s worth, I’m English and was born here to English parents who then emigrated to NZ when I was 8. Lived over there until I returned to England when I was 20 to get to know my extended family and have an adventure etc. I ended up meeting someone and settling - South East for reference.

Fast forward 7 years and I am really struggling to tolerate life here any longer. I’m making plans to leave, but they’re obviously on hold for the foreseeable.

My reasons?

• I work hard in a fairly well paid job that I commute to in London, but I can still only reasonably afford to live in a tiny one bedroom apartment with no outside space. I see my friends from back home in similar financial situations buying 4 bedroom new build family homes with massive gardens.

• England is over crowded. I find it unbearable to have to circle my local supermarket car park multiple times (whatever time of the day) to find a space. Such simple things in life shouldn’t be so difficult.

• I hate the competitiveness of life over here. Everyone trying to have the newest car, the best holidays, the nicest house, the best schools for their kids, even if they can’t actually afford it. I think people elsewhere in the world are much more humble and happy with their lot.

So, AIBU? Are you genuinely happy living here? Appreciate it’s a difficult question for those that have never lived elsewhere.

I think the longer you are gone the harder it is to move back.
I lived nearly 30 years in the US, pretty much my whole adult life. We are back now (Dh lived there longer he was a kid when he moved) It's hard to settle back with a reverse culture shock.
We are called Ping pong poms for a reason.
I'm secretly trying to figure out where we move next. Dh misses heat so who knows where we'll end up.

The people saying it's a London thing - the OP says she lives in SE England and commutes into London for work, plus many of her complaints are about England as a whole.

I love living in London - it's a great life - so much to do and so many creative & interesting people. I travel a lot and I always know I couldn't live in any the wonderful places I visit. I would always need more than a spacious house.

I bloody love it here. Wouldn't live anywhere else

Get out of the south east, move to the east Midlands. I'm from Sussex (a loved by mumsnet commuter town) could never move back there even if I could afford it now! Feel like a foreigner when I visit now.

Not another bloody one...........

It's definitely hate the English week.

FWIW I don't hate you guys

@ChickenFight I live near Cambridge and don’t like it here so much. I feel very hemmed in but the kids are settled at school.

I would think about moving OP to try another place in the Uk. There are some beautiful places here.

It's a small country in terms of size but still YABU to think you can cover it all with one statement like that. Generalisations like yours annoy me so much I can barely respond to them reasonably. We have towns/villages/cities of all sizes and with varied demographics.

I do think OP is probably just homesick. London must be a huge culture shock. Most of NZ is still very rural and life really is much slower.

I love England. I’d love to live in Ireland but I don’t speak Irish so cannot teach there.

NZ is your home so if you want to go back then do. I don’t think posting on a primarily English site, saying how shit England is whoever is going to get you any balanced answers though.

That competitiveness you're talking about is quite common of the 'commuter town' mentality as well. I've heard this from a lot of people who've left London to move there after having kids.

Any posters who have just said to ‘fuck off’ pretty much highlights how sad things make me. Why would you say that to someone just asking a few questions?

You do realise that England isn't just London and the South East? Property is much cheaper in other areas of England

LondonCentric thread I feel.

Oh the angst.

Move.

helpmyhair have you read the title of this thread and the OP's posts? Apologist

We live in an expensive part of the home counties, so have a smaller house and garden than we could afford in the rest of the country. Nevertheless, it's a very beautiful area and close to my family so that adds to my happiness.

I tend to avoid supermarkets and most crowded places. Between small independent shops and farm deliveries we can cover most things, needing only an occasional delivery.

The selfishness, competitiveness and materialism? I know some people like that, including a few I'm related to! But the people I spend most of my time with are nothing like that. It helps that I'm a SAHM (so can largely choose who I socialise with) and heavily involved in my church family, but there are plenty of content and kind people around if you look in the right places.

@Tunnocks34 the north of Ireland is fab and you don't need to know Irish

You need to move up North. Different kettle of fish up here.

Happy days.

I agree that this might be down to where you live in the UK. I live in the Lake District - the scenery is lovely, the pace of life is slow, people are relaxed and outdoorsy; not competitive or shallow and schools are undersubscribed. However when I travel to cities I wonder how people tolerate living in urban areas; I've got used to rural life.

Many years ago some good friends of ours quit the UK for a better life in NZ - at the time DH and I wondered if the problem was not the UK itself but the lifestyle they had here - stressful jobs in the commuter belt, not enough time to pursue to the outdoor activities they loved...they stayed in NZ for a while but have since moved on to another country so clearly it wasn't perfect either.

Yes I have - it’s not great. But surely telling people to ‘fuck off’ to another country isn’t exactly great

Maybe if you'd have realised this earlier you'd have been gone by now. Shame really.

Your problem is London ... not Great Britain. There is an entire county of towns and city's to explore. Everyone across the country is not packed into tiny flats elbow to elbow all the time.

There is life outside of london.

I spent 6 months in NW London. Hated it. Moved to SW London. Loved it.

You talk about competitive consumerism op but I have to say the NZ people I know (and some are family) are incredibly status/superiority conscious both in NZ and especially here in the UK.

@megladon2020 oh that’s interesting. We own a house in ROI already though (inheritance).

Ireland is just my favourite country but strangely I’ve never fully experienced the north!

I don't even live in a particularly glamorous part of England, but I love and never want to live anywhere else.

There is a weirdly non-English/British trend on MN at the moment.