AIBU - living in England completely insufferable?

[hellosunshine5]

As per the title really, I loved living here for a few years but I now just find the whole country completely insufferable.

Does anyone else feel the same?

For what it’s worth, I’m English and was born here to English parents who then emigrated to NZ when I was 8. Lived over there until I returned to England when I was 20 to get to know my extended family and have an adventure etc. I ended up meeting someone and settling - South East for reference.

Fast forward 7 years and I am really struggling to tolerate life here any longer. I’m making plans to leave, but they’re obviously on hold for the foreseeable.

My reasons?

• I work hard in a fairly well paid job that I commute to in London, but I can still only reasonably afford to live in a tiny one bedroom apartment with no outside space. I see my friends from back home in similar financial situations buying 4 bedroom new build family homes with massive gardens.

• England is over crowded. I find it unbearable to have to circle my local supermarket car park multiple times (whatever time of the day) to find a space. Such simple things in life shouldn’t be so difficult.

• I hate the competitiveness of life over here. Everyone trying to have the newest car, the best holidays, the nicest house, the best schools for their kids, even if they can’t actually afford it. I think people elsewhere in the world are much more humble and happy with their lot.

So, AIBU? Are you genuinely happy living here? Appreciate it’s a difficult question for those that have never lived elsewhere.

@missyB1 Haha I’m from Hamilton too! Glad to find another Tron escapee over here

You’re being ridiculous to equate one experience of NZ and directly compare it with working & living in and around one of the biggest & busiest cities in the world. I’m not actually from London but I commute into town daily ( not currently sadly) and I agree it’s tough. It is however the gateway to a great deal of fantastic events and experiences. If it’s not for you then fine it’s not for you but quite frankly I’m sick of people running my city and country down - it’s fucking rude. It’s like comparing living in NZ with living in NYC and complaining about noise. Why don’t you go and visit other parts of the UK - it’s incredibly diverse. North Yorkshire, the Peak District, Northumberland,Scotland, Wales - all beautiful.

YABU for confusing England with London.
London really is a different country to the rest of the UK.

whinging London type who clearly has never been anywhere else in the country or you would know it is just the south east that has the problem.

if you had ever been to other parts of England you would know it isn't all like that. And obviously NZ (even with a 20% population increase in 10 years) is much less crowded. Where you a JAFA there, I wonder?

moving is an option after lockdown. Kiwis won't let you in but there are less crowded places in England, and you don't have to live somewhere that it always rains either. However you will take your attitude with you...

I've lived in a few countries but I love the Uk, love the culture, the people and just the UK. The weather can be crap but I like the seasons.

Regarding competitiveness I do see that but it's more people talking about where they were to try and get other peeps to go there cos they enjoyed it. Regarding cars and stuff - I don't give a tooty what car I have and am happy if someone gets a new car - probably best not seeing it as a competition. I've never been to NZ but did go to Australia years ago as was thinking of moving there. I loved it (Sydney) but was glad to get back home.

That is in no way, shape or form my experience of England life. YABU to view a whole country through such a blinkered lens.

@LizzieSiddal
YANBU. I’m just ashamed to be English at the moment. The govt is inept, tens of thousands are dying unnecessarily.

I am with Lizzie, so horrified by so may things about this country now. So much inequality and the vulnerable suffering more and more.

However, there are clearly many, many worse places to live. Not sure yet where else our family would thrive though...

Sounds like you need to leave London

We moved to Devon over 20 years ago after having lived in Brighton/Hove area- we have been back- hated it! Love living here now- never liked London as it is so crowded- DH has to commute for years and we didn’t see him from 6am until 8/9pm.Same with my parents as I grew up,they both commuted to London.Both said they would rather have to commute than live there.
There are so many beautiful and scenic places to live in the UK,you get so much more for your money.
Why not think of making a move away from the big cities?

I love it here. It may not be perfect but having lived in NZ for a few years I now love it more than ever.
Very difficult to see past how western culture has fucked NZ up beyond the point of no return. Loads of ex-pats moaning about the Maori crime rate when they are the very people that turned up and ruined everything with their fucking guns and religion and bloody cats and rats in the first place.
Shameful.

I love England. I lived in Oz for two years and couldn’t wait to get back.
If you’re not happy here, off you pop 👋🏼

NZ or the UK? No contest - NZ wins handsdown.

Agree with everyone else here that you are describing the commuter belt, not England.

We lived in the North Westerly sector of the commuter belt just outside the M25 and I completely recognise your description. We now live in the South West (of the country, not of London) and it may as well be a different country, and for the better (for us at least).

How old are you op?

I don’t know I’ve spent half my life in Aus and half in London plus a year in US. London isn’t so bad. Actually I really like it but maybe it’s stage of life too.

The money and crowds things are both SE England specific. There’s a load more space almost everywhere north of the Watford gap.

I’m very happy here - SW London. Lovely people, nice place to live - plenty of parks, great schools.

I live in the sticks near wales. Beautiful place. So are many other areas of the UK. So much history and natural beauty.

I've been to London once- Never again!

Your right, jacinda has done such a good job.

She got it done.

We are thinking of moving back to NZ. Lifestyle block right now would be

The south east of England (except London) is a nightmare OP and I remember that kind of behaviour and atmosphere very well from when we lived there.

We have one set of relatives who live in Surrey still and they are like this. So obsessed with money and things. It’s horrible.

We moved south west a good number of years ago and it is totally different.

I’d say either move well away from the London commuter belt, or move into London itself - it is far more diverse and it dilutes the ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ effect.

So leave 🤷‍♀️

YABU. Sounds like you’re basing the entirety of England on the small space you’re living in

It's a lot less insufferable than Syria!

I guess it depends who you hang out with. I'm counting my blessings in lockdown that I have enough money, a roof over my head, good friends, a reasonably but not highly paid job. I know a lot of people worse off than me, and a lot of countries worse than the UK. Life isn't perfect but it's pretty good. Maybe it depends if you're a glass half full or half empty person?

Op where do you live? This is not my experience at all. I know people who are competitive but I don't choose to spend time with them, the people I spend time with are not like that at all. I think you need to look at who you're spending time with.