AIBU - living in England completely insufferable?

[hellosunshine5]

As per the title really, I loved living here for a few years but I now just find the whole country completely insufferable.

Does anyone else feel the same?

For what it’s worth, I’m English and was born here to English parents who then emigrated to NZ when I was 8. Lived over there until I returned to England when I was 20 to get to know my extended family and have an adventure etc. I ended up meeting someone and settling - South East for reference.

Fast forward 7 years and I am really struggling to tolerate life here any longer. I’m making plans to leave, but they’re obviously on hold for the foreseeable.

My reasons?

• I work hard in a fairly well paid job that I commute to in London, but I can still only reasonably afford to live in a tiny one bedroom apartment with no outside space. I see my friends from back home in similar financial situations buying 4 bedroom new build family homes with massive gardens.

• England is over crowded. I find it unbearable to have to circle my local supermarket car park multiple times (whatever time of the day) to find a space. Such simple things in life shouldn’t be so difficult.

• I hate the competitiveness of life over here. Everyone trying to have the newest car, the best holidays, the nicest house, the best schools for their kids, even if they can’t actually afford it. I think people elsewhere in the world are much more humble and happy with their lot.

So, AIBU? Are you genuinely happy living here? Appreciate it’s a difficult question for those that have never lived elsewhere.

I hate this government and the way it has run down this country. I don't hate the UK though. Despite the many problems we have, it is a beautiful and interesting place to live with so many different environments and landscapes.

I do understand people tiring of London - especially younger people who have high rents/mortgages to pay, everything is so much more expensive and everywhere is so crowded and busy.

I live in London and, on the whole, I like it. I do like the chance to get out of it sometimes though - which can't be done at the moment.

Only one thing to say - - Goodbye.
During this unpresidented time the English have shown their true metal. Queuing up for groceries, nobody ever heard moaning. This horrible virus has united us and shown that when under pressure the British are stoic and community minded. The other mans grass isn't always greener, as you may find out. Hope you can get a flight soon, we don't need your negativity. Bye bye.

Further to my previous post, BTW I returned to Britain after living in Canada for 28 years and couldn't be happier. Moaning is not the British way, keep on smiling and get on with it.
If you don't like the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
YABU, and a whinging Mary to boot.

I can't stand living in this country and if it weren't for Brexit, I'd have left. I've gone back to college, ready for university in September which I hope opens in the hopes of within about 6 or 7 years becoming an Australian resident on a skilled workers visa.

@MehMehMeow We are stuck in Auckland as that is where DH's family business is. But yes, my experience is more complicated than just NZ although I think the info on costs is still useful for the OP.

nobody ever heard moaning

You obviously don't read many threads on MN

You might be genetically English but as you’ve lived in NZ from the age of 8 to 20, you’re not culturally English, hence why you don’t feel like you fit in. You grew up over there so you’re essentially a New Zealander.

You get “competitive” people everywhere, that’s not England exclusive.

Overcrowding doesn’t bother me, house prices do. I genuinely love living in London, I feel thankful that I get to LIVE in my favourite city in the world, with everything/everyone I love being right on my doorstep. London is home for me, so I’m happy, whereas home for you is New Zealand

During this unpresidented time the English have shown their true metal. Queuing up for groceries, nobody ever heard moaning. This horrible virus has united us and shown that when under pressure the British are stoic and community minded. The other mans grass isn't always greener, as you may find out. Hope you can get a flight soon, we don't need your negativity. Bye bye

Hilarious

Then don't live here and move back surely that's the simple answer
You don't have to like it , I've lived in a few places some places I've like others I have but I moved from the places I disliked

@Taliya you can still go and live and. Work in Spain if you meet their criteria be it hasn't stopped you

@grizzlybearatemyhomework. I had to laugh when I read your post! You might consider Ireland your cultural home but my goodness do you know how bad things are financially in Ireland? I was born and grew up in Co Galway but came to England many years ago because I couldn’t afford my nurse training back home.

We have friends who literally drive up to cross into the North because everything South of the border is SO expensive.

Why do you think so many Irish people have emigrated over the years and continue to do so? No work, sky high prices. You can’t afford to buy a house. Sure the scenery is beautiful but you can’t enjoy it much on an empty belly.

@Lincolnfield yes, I do.
My relatives are small business owners who also live in Galway. The rest of my family are from Co. Louth. I know that a lot of things, financially speaking, are on their arse.
It’s not a cheap place to live, for lots of reasons, but neither is London, or many parts of the UK, things are just different. It doesn’t mean that it changes the way that my husband and I feel about our life in the UK and us wanting to make the move more than permanent in future if we can.
In one sense we are lucky that if we did make the move we’d have people around us to help us and we wouldn’t be alone. I can’t imagine how difficult it is for families who make big moves to new areas or new countries without support.
I’m glad you’ve found your home here though.

I work hard in a fairly well paid job that I commute to in London, but I can still only reasonably afford to live in a tiny one bedroom apartment with no outside space. I see my friends from back home in similar financial situations buying 4 bedroom new build family homes with massive gardens.
London is one of the most expensive and overcrowded cities in the world WTF do you expect?

England is over crowded. I find it unbearable to have to circle my local supermarket car park multiple times (whatever time of the day) to find a space. Such simple things in life shouldn’t be so difficult.
No it isn't. Most of South East England is overcrowded.

I hate the competitiveness of life over here. Everyone trying to have the newest car, the best holidays, the nicest house, the best schools for their kids, even if they can’t actually afford it. I think people elsewhere in the world are much more humble and happy with their lot.
There are shit people everywhere but no everyone in England is like this.

So, AIBU? Are you genuinely happy living here? Appreciate it’s a difficult question for those that have never lived elsewhere.
Yeah. I think NZ seemed bloody lovely when I went there - I found the lack of population density appealing but you can find places like that in the UK too.

Your problem is assuming London/SE = England - it doesn't, at all.

BTW, it's only okay for Brits to say it's shite! They do like to do that, but don't want to hear it from us foreigners
That seems fair to me. I wouldn't expect to be real popular if I moved to the USA and then told them where they were going wrong all the time. Why move?

Yes, I have never circled to find parking at a supermarket out here - outer London - NW - on tube (zone 5). Some people may just need to move a couple more zones further out to avoid some of those things they don't like.

I believe in free speech. I love this country and think there is no better but I don't mind anyone saying anything they want to and if they don't like this country they are welcome to leave. I am sure we can just about manage without them.

That’s my experience of Surrey and the commuter belt, but not necessarily of everywhere else. Moved away to get a house, avoid the crowds and the general unpleasantness, but was very lucky to do so. Live on the coast now and I love it so much! So refreshing to finally love the area I live in.

See ya

I’m older, live inside the M25 and I love it. I love the bustle, the vibrancy, being so close to central London. There is always something to do & to see.
10 mins drive from me is extensive countryside. We have badgers, foxes & hedgehogs visiting our tiny urban garden every night. We are an hour from the coast, 2 1/2 hours from Europe on the Eurostar. The people around me are lovely. There is a good sense of community.
But then I’m a glass half full person.

I love it here. London is your problem not England.

Happiness is not getting what you want but wanting what you've got. I have ups and downs and sometimes times I despair of things but I wouldn't live anywhere else. Each to their own.

It is what you make of it. I moved to a west country beauty spot where the pace of life is much slower and the houses are very cheap and have a lovely big three bedroomed house to myself. I'd only be able to afford a shed in London.
I work in the NHS so I can live anywhere and my money goes much further here.
Nobody cares what you are driving unless it's a tractor - I only lease cars anyway.
The shops are never packed. It's an amazing lifestyle.
I'd detest London, I've lived there before and hated it.
I think you are BU, if you are not happy then move to somewhere where you will be happy. Nobody is forcing you to live here.

bossybloss Love your posts

I used to live in Caracas as a child. Gun shots every night. And of course there were slums. A child at my school was held at gun point. You know what though, London is a total dump by comparison.

Obviously I'm being facetious...

People like different things. That's ok. But for some people England is home and they wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

Purbal, Yes Still glad to call England my home after 10 years in unstable Latin American countries (lovely as they were, despite gun shots and kidnappings and a friend of mine being kidnapped.... by the police, for ransom )

It puts things in perspective

This is still a great place, but we are also allowed to criticise and worry a but (just counting blessings too!)

Agree it is overcrowded. One of the only upsides of lockdown was being able to go for a walk to the park without having to navigate the awful traffic that is constantly heaving in my residential area...and the fresh air for once