AIBU - living in England completely insufferable?

[hellosunshine5]

As per the title really, I loved living here for a few years but I now just find the whole country completely insufferable.

Does anyone else feel the same?

For what it’s worth, I’m English and was born here to English parents who then emigrated to NZ when I was 8. Lived over there until I returned to England when I was 20 to get to know my extended family and have an adventure etc. I ended up meeting someone and settling - South East for reference.

Fast forward 7 years and I am really struggling to tolerate life here any longer. I’m making plans to leave, but they’re obviously on hold for the foreseeable.

My reasons?

• I work hard in a fairly well paid job that I commute to in London, but I can still only reasonably afford to live in a tiny one bedroom apartment with no outside space. I see my friends from back home in similar financial situations buying 4 bedroom new build family homes with massive gardens.

• England is over crowded. I find it unbearable to have to circle my local supermarket car park multiple times (whatever time of the day) to find a space. Such simple things in life shouldn’t be so difficult.

• I hate the competitiveness of life over here. Everyone trying to have the newest car, the best holidays, the nicest house, the best schools for their kids, even if they can’t actually afford it. I think people elsewhere in the world are much more humble and happy with their lot.

So, AIBU? Are you genuinely happy living here? Appreciate it’s a difficult question for those that have never lived elsewhere.

Good on you @yve62. Where to?

I love living here in North West England, but where you live sounds horrible OP.

@OldCow1 I totally agree with you! All these people who think the grass is greener. My husband grew up in Naples still run by the Camorra, a Mafia type organisation in the Campania region. The corruption in Italy is off the scale.

Where I grew up in Co Galway, the cost of living is exorbitant and that was before the coronavirus. The scenery is outstanding but as my father used to say, you can’t eat the mountains!

We’ve been proud to make England our home for over forty years.We’ve been made welcome here. Our sons have all grown up here. We wouldn’t live anywhere else.

I agree with you, if people dislike it here so much then they should go elsewhere. When they find they have to pay for their healthcare and everything is at the whim of local politicians and those who can bribe them, they’ll soon wish they were back here.

I grew up in Manchester. Moved to Cornwall in my 20’s. Loved it but a nightmare in the holiday season. Now live in Shropshire in my 50’s. It’s wonderfully quiet, rural, and understated.

Germany, ideally.

IMO this country is going downhill and fast. The pollution, the litter, the populist government, the selfishness, the virtue signalling by people clapping for the NHS and donating to Captain Tom Moore even though they vote every year for the Tories. The sudden interest in how the fuck people In poverty are supposed to live on benefits, an interest which will be dismissed the next time they vote for cuts to social security. Totally lost as to how this country that was tolerant for so long has become a hotbed of populist nonsense.

@yve62 I think you may be in for a shock if you think Germany is less racist than the UK.

I’ve lived in the UK for all of my 47 years, an hour away from London. When I was younger I loved the city and would go every single weekend, hate the place now and wouldn’t go if I was paid to. We holiday a lot in the U.K. and there are some absolutely wonderful places and people here. I love it here but do agree with the competitiveness and everyone wanting everything regardless if they can afford it or not but I just assume that’s modern life in a westernised country and down to social media etc. But in saying that I do like the look of NZ it looks so beautiful with a slower pace of life which would suit my personality (too late for me to emigrate now unfortunately).

Well I have lived elsewhere and that was nice too. UK is not shit. Sick of people trying to make out it's the pits of the earth

But the UK is fair game for abuse OldCow1 it's very fashionable to knock old blighty at the moment.

You are 100% right. It's dire.

When you finally realise you have a choice...and go to NZ where Jacinda is doing a fantastic job.. You'll wonder why it took you so long.

I have been living in the U.K. for 20 years since I moved here from the states. As mentioned by others, it is London that is indeed and beyond a shadow of a doubt, a ridiculous place to live! Don't get me wrong, I love going there for many wonderful leisure activities... But anytime I have to go there for work, it is insane, takes me weeks to recover. I was living in Slough, Berkshire for five years and now have moved back to the Midlands and am renting a three bedroom house for what I was paying for a room in a five bedroom house. I have traveled the breadth and width of England and Wales and the south of Scotland and there are all kinds of people and places outside of the South, it is a whole different place and the majority of it is just lovely. Many, many lovely places and different kinds of people. Go North!

BTW, it's only okay for Brits to say it's shite! They do like to do that, but don't want to hear it from us foreigners. And it's not shite at all, it's just a long way from NZ. However, there are an awful lot of sheep and hills in Mid-Wales (one of the most beautiful places on earth), you should go there and maybe feel more at home! :) As for me, I am still looking for a real pizza! (I'm from Chicago).

If you dont like it go

I’ve not rtft but this really resonates with me.

For those of you who say if you don’t like it, go - there is a lot more to consider than that. Family, elderly parents, the roots set down for our small children...

I was born and have lived in the NW for nearly all my life, for reference. My family are Irish and we often (before CV) went over to visit and stay with them. There’s something about Ireland, and the culture of Ireland that sticks with me and without being overly dramatic that when I go back it is like going home. It’s hard to put my finger on and explain.

I don’t think, at the moment, it would be possible for us to go and live there. My husband would be able to move work easily, but I worry about my son not seeing his grandparents and his family in England. I worry about what we would do about the house we just bought.

You’re not being unreasonable if you like it here and you’re happy to stay, and you’re not being unreasonable if you don’t like it but you’re not in a position to move. You’re not being unreasonable if you don’t like it and you leave.

Germany took in more refugees than every other country. Everything works and their handling of this crisis is a masterclass in good governance.

Agree with everything you’ve written @hellosunshine5

Also SE (London).

@ethelredonagoodday - I know just what you mean. I'm in NZ, and people living in Auckland (and some of them have posted on MN) seem to think the rest of the country is barely populated, with any available jobs all paying minimum wage and everyone living several miles apart! They probably think we don't have electricity either!!!

I'm Aussie, moved to London indefinitely about 6 months ago. Don't love it yet to be honest. Covid shite aside, I struggled with feeling pretty lonely.

No offence meant at all, I just have found everything about the country just so inefficient, everything seems more difficult than it needs to be. Its like pettiness and fussy little rules are a national pass time!

Seems like its gone nuclear since covid 19, everyone is going demented over it and I think loads of people secretly love it.

Yanbu, I agree, overcrowding is s problem outside London as well but it feels like we're not allowed to acknowledge it.

-public transport is unbearable, dh never gets a seat when he commutes, it didn't used to be like that 10-15 years ago

-every time you want to go to a nice piece of countryside or NT place there's always a queue to park, again I don't remember that 10 years ago.

• yes parking in a lot of places, multistorey carpark spaces got smaller so a nightmare if you've got kids, I regularly drive around not being able to park until the top storey.

• over development and no infrastructure increases to allow for the influx.

It is too crowded in the South East, it's not just London. I would love to live in NZ but I couldn't move that far away from my family.

Lived in London for decades, then the south coast.
Moved to North of Scotland and it is a different country: space, cleanliness, beauty, not crowded, no traffic, houses are a decent size and affordable: nothing like the busy south east of England.
You’re not being unreasonable: rather, you’re not blinkered nor brainwashed

There are a lot of things I dislike about the UK but I really don't see the competitiveness you mention. My DH is from another European country and he can be quite critical of the UK - however he always points out how humble people are here. In his country he says people are much more flash, boasting about their wealth, their car, their house etc. I do think many English people are humble and self deprecating.

I love this country , having lived in Australia and travelled across NZ.I live in the North West of England with access to beaches, parks, farmland etc.Accessible to The Lakes as well as North Wales. Decent semi with garden can be bought for £200,00 or less depending on the area.

My commute to work is ten minutes ...twenty on a bad day.

Oh..and please keep it a secret how lovely the NW of England is ....shhhh. Xx

Britain is a bit of an embarrassment atm, and the anger, divisiveness and selfishness is huge. We moved back 5 years ago and I have quite wtf about a lot of things.
My bf is in the south east too and it does seem to be more of a mindset there than a lot of the UK. Can you work elsewhere, would that help?