AIBU - living in England completely insufferable?

[hellosunshine5]

As per the title really, I loved living here for a few years but I now just find the whole country completely insufferable.

Does anyone else feel the same?

For what it’s worth, I’m English and was born here to English parents who then emigrated to NZ when I was 8. Lived over there until I returned to England when I was 20 to get to know my extended family and have an adventure etc. I ended up meeting someone and settling - South East for reference.

Fast forward 7 years and I am really struggling to tolerate life here any longer. I’m making plans to leave, but they’re obviously on hold for the foreseeable.

My reasons?

• I work hard in a fairly well paid job that I commute to in London, but I can still only reasonably afford to live in a tiny one bedroom apartment with no outside space. I see my friends from back home in similar financial situations buying 4 bedroom new build family homes with massive gardens.

• England is over crowded. I find it unbearable to have to circle my local supermarket car park multiple times (whatever time of the day) to find a space. Such simple things in life shouldn’t be so difficult.

• I hate the competitiveness of life over here. Everyone trying to have the newest car, the best holidays, the nicest house, the best schools for their kids, even if they can’t actually afford it. I think people elsewhere in the world are much more humble and happy with their lot.

So, AIBU? Are you genuinely happy living here? Appreciate it’s a difficult question for those that have never lived elsewhere.

I live in an area which has become more densely populated over the last 20 or so years. Anywhere that can be built on has been, with mainly high density housing, student rooms and flats.
The area now has constant traffic jams, air pollution has been measured as high.
I think the overcrowding leads to stress.

If I could move somewhere quieter, I would

I totally understand where your coming from I moved from Ireland 36 years ago and the uk and it’s people have been very very good to me but London has changed so much in the last 10 years it’s becoming unbearable so much so I’m also moving there are so many more beautiful areas in the UK Yorkshire is beautiful clean and friendly it’s like how London used to be 30 years ago

You’re in the South East within commuting distance of London so pricey and heavily populated. Try moving further away or North. Much better value, greener and quieter towns away from big cities.

For those ashamed to be British - which nationality would they wish to be? And are they pursuing their dream?

I love England. So many beautiful and historic places, stunning coastlines, great music,humour and TV. Easy connections to the rest of Europe for city breaks. Wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.

YANBU I've felt like this about the UK for many many yesrs. I was born and brought up here. I wanted to go and live and work in Spain but since Brexit that's no longer possible . There are good and bad things about every country but I agree with what you are saying about the UK.

We’re neither of us English. My husband is Italian but has lived here since a teenager and he was actually a policeman here as well before he retired. I was born in Ballinasloe in beautiful County Galway but came here when I trained as a nurse many years ago. Our three sons are all English so we’re a bit like the League of Nations in my family!

We’re blessed that we live in a tiny rural community and we are very happy. Our neighbours are all really lovely and it’s so quiet and peaceful here. At night, the only sound you hear is the owl in the wood or occasionally our neighbours’ sheep.

The only thing I’m finding increasingly hard to stomach, particularly during this horrible pandemic is how judgemental a lot of English people are, how quick to comment on other people who they don’t know and mouth off opinions that are frankly, at times, bizarre.

Thankfully I’m not seeing this from any of our neighbours but there are a number of posts on MN which are just horrible. I remember girls at my girls school back in Ireland who were always eager to run telling tales to the teacher and I’m sure they’re all posting on here!

If I could live anywhere in the world it would be America, but I hate living where I do in England- I'm in SE too. So for now we're looking to relocate to the West Country

I do think this thread is funny. I absolutely love London and wouldn't live anywhere else; I do live on the outskirts in a nice villagey area with green space but there are lots of them in and around London. I can get into central London on train in 25 minutes if I want (am retired but used to do that).

Having said all that, each to their own. It is possible to have a much bigger house outside of greater London which is a big plus for some people. I was happy with my 3 bed semi + garage which could easily have been extended if required but understand how some want more.

Op could move to somewhere offering something she considers 'better' surely? Does she really need to moan about a personal decision on MN, where many of us are English and like it?

Also sick of people running this country down. Go away then. If you dont like it go. It will make it less overcrowded for the people who do like it here.

I was born and raised in the SE and only left when I was 22 to go and live in France. I’m now French as well (yay!) with French husband and baby in tow. We now live in the Netherlands and even though, like me, my husband loves our visits to the UK, frankly a miracle would have to occur to make us ever want to go back to actually live there (he lived there for 2 years FWIW). Life is just better elsewhere.

@Taliya moving to Spain will surely still be possible for you? A bit trickier maybe but not impossible?

The best thing to come out of England is the road to Scotland (I part jest ) I find London and most of England wayyyy to overcrowded for me also. I see photos of people currently trying to social distance and it looks like hell. I feel your pain OP, why not move somewhere a bit quieter. Take this shit storm that is Brexit and CV19 and make a change. There are some beautiful places in England, or even better, come live in Scotland. It's not as packed as England and its very similar to NZ in its scenery.

If you dont like London move,i love it to visit but i wouldnt want to live there,But then i wouldnt want to live in a rural area either,i come from a coastal village,id never move back.Dont like villages or small towns,too cliqcy and insular.I live in Norwich now,nice city with advantages of city life,cant wait for them to return but not many of the disadvantages,ok odd thing you would expect in any city,but on the whole a nice and pleasant place to live,lots of green spaces,best of both worlds.

Am happy to be corrected by about a third of a million immigrants have come to the UK every year for the last 15 years.
Must be a terrible country...... everyone beating a path to our door.

I get you, I dislike a lot of our 'modern culture' & as a keyworker am dreading the return of busy traffic. If people can work from home now, why couldn't they before?

We live 30 miles outside of London. Part of the commuter belt but probably an awful lot cheaper than you are looking at.

Get out of London, find a nice little place like we have, might even be worth changing your job.

England is a wonderful place, nowhere else do you see the countryside we have and the variation throughout the country. It is truly beautiful, my daughter lives in Yorkshire and that would be a another place I would consider. It could even be worth you finding a job there, you don't need as much money to live there.

I love it here and am totally so grateful for all the opportunities I have had. Where I am from I had to deal with extreme poverty and racism and ended up in London by stroke of luck - global employer with a boss who took a chance on me. I feel like I was given a clean slate to be who I wanted free from prejudice. I don’t mind I can’t own a huge house or fancy car! I love that I have freedom and I am treated fairly and equally professionally and personally!

I'm not saying where I live but it's very English and the people are very friendly. The countryside is amazing. You couldn't pay me enough to live in London!

You couldn't pay me enough to leave London (where I grew up). Each to their own.

I did move 4 years ago for me I was chasing sunshine and a more relaxed lifestyle and I got it. Love living in a warmer climate, couldn't move back to the UK. But do love visiting a few times a year to see family and do some shopping 🙂

But also I was always well travelled from a young age and my dad is from abroad, mother English. So I think this inspired my warmer climate desire from a young age

I wonder how many of those who disagree have ever lived elsewhere. England is broken. We clap for the NHS when we really want to clap for the individuals who work in it. They are badly paid and the system itself is poorly organised and underfunded. Our transport system is ridiculously expensive and inefficient and we have a horrible problem with class bias and racism. I'm leaving asap.

I’m not from the UK, but spent 25 years living in several different parts of England. My decade in London was by far my happiest. It’s a great city, despite its problems.

yve62 the people who work for the NHS are responsible for organising it. I'll respect it when those people start being honest. Including Sir Simon Stevens nd every NHS CEO, clinical lead and Director of Nursing. Because they all work or the NHS!