What has lockdown highlighted to you about your life?

[Ilovetea09]

Morning. I'm on day 54 of self isolation now. We are stuck in groundhog day and The kids are finding homeschool difficult and they miss their friends.
But we have been so lucky with the weather and to have a garden and are trying to make the best of it. We camped out there the other night which was great fun. Something we would never normally do. My husband is still working but when he's home I've noticed we've spent a lot more time together as a family which has been nice. Just doing simple things like playing outside, playing with toys.
We have been getting more exercise than we usually would which is a positive. We are eating less and spending less.

It has shown me how much I love travelling and going to the seaside /or on holiday. I really need something to look forward to it seems! And going on days out and the weekend, we really miss that.

But it's also shown me just how introverted I am, and my husband. My husband has always been antisocial, he had a few work friends /aqaintencies, but he's let them slip away and now has none. He says he's perfectly happy with this as hes never enjoyed friends!
Im similar in that I don't have a large group of friends. I have one best friend who I've not seen since February as she's living at a hospital with her sick baby for at least 6 months. My only other friends are school mums who I chat to at the gate. I aren't sad we haven't got friends but it has highlighted it to me when I see on social media people hosting quiz nights with friends and having group video chats etc.
Lockdown has also shown me how we aren't close to other family members and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. We all live locally to each other and we saw my parents and in laws every weekend before lockdown . But it was tedious and I don't have a good relationship with my narcissist father so the meetups were never fun anyway. I feel terrible saying this but to not see them has been quite freeing for me. My anxiety around my father has gone and I feel relaxed for the first time in years.
I don't know what our new normal will be going forward after lockdown but I do know that I want to change some things to live a happier and more fulfilling life than we were.
What has lockdown highlighted to you about your life?

That I spend far too much money on outings/activities for my child when she is just as happy playing in the garden/painting/playing with her toys at home.

That my dh and I are going to be okay after a long rocky patch pre covid.
That I have more acquaintances and less friends than I thought.
That I'm much more introverted than I thought and I expended a lot of energy pre lockdown being socially anxious.
That I have really enjoyed the break from the rush or every day life.
That a lot of my lack of exercise and bad eating habits pre lockdown were because of time and convenience. Given more free time each day both of these have improved massively.
That my DC are absolutely awesome company and I'm very very fortunate to have them.

@Chocolateandamaretto
I feel the same way, I’ve got my children around me and I can message family but I’ve realised I don’t really have many friends at all
After my marriage ended 18 months ago people I thought were friends slowly disappeared, it would be nice to have someone to video call in the evening, enjoy a glass of wine and vent to each other especially at times like this xx

That I am a very fortunate introvert with lovely children

Pros
Being creative and consciously making an effort to make wonderful memories for family and friends so we don't look back at this time as being just "stuck in our house"
Learning a new hobby
When a Google memory pops up, I'll transport myself back to that moment. Before I would have glanced at it and barely given it a second thought
Family meal times - only something we could do at the weekends before

Cons
The commute - it was my me time
Pressure to balance work and raising a family

I learnt:

1. How much previously outside influences caused problems between my husband and me and how much better we get on without the in-laws causing us grief and we can just do life on our own for a while.
2. That I was relieved to not have the pressure of keeping up with so many people and not have to go out as much.
3. That I’m a bit of a home bird really and socialising actually drains me. All new lessons to me!
4. That I miss my mum and dad and sister and family so much I could cry. I just want to hang out with them again.
5. That life is really precious, temporary, and to be valued.
6. Money can’t buy you health or cures.
7. That some people are extremely kind, selfless and heroic. Others are truly selfish through and through.
8. I love my little girl with all my heart (but I knew that already I’m just feeling so grateful for her).

Great post OP xx

That I treasure the random conversations I have with my 7 year old. Also those jobs weve been putting off for 4 years can be done if you put your mind to it.

That I have a developing eating disorder that I need to find the courage to deal with.

I discovered I am a slob.😁

That I absolutely love WFH and would happily never enter an office again.

That being free of the obligation to do things with others is very relaxing and even though I like seeing my friends in abstract, I CBA when it comes down to it.

That I will never Marie Kondo my home and it is time to stop falling myself I will!

That my colleagues are just that, not friends like I thought. I've not really heard from any of them since lockdown started.

My partner is a bully to me and my child and I'm stuck

How badly I've always been treated by my husband's family and how damaging it is for my children to become aware of it as they get older.

How fortunate I am to have family near me and how much I miss them all right now. How hard it is to keep anything clean and tidy when the kids are on the house pretty much 24/7. How much I miss having days off as a family as me and DH are both key workers and working opposite shifts so one of us is always home with the kids.

That I actually enjoy certain kids craft activities! Most of them can still get to fuck though.

That DH and I are very lucky in the hours we work that we have been able to manage home school, childcare and working easily.

The amount of money we waste on frivolous stuff.

That takeaway is usually disappointing. I’d rather go out to eat at a really nice restaurant less often and cook at home.

That I need outside contacts, that I don’t really like working from home. Occasionally it’s great but I miss the office, lunch hours and even the quiet time driving to work.

That unless schools go back (not in the UK) that this current working from home and homeschooling is not sustainable for us. Something has to give.

God. I feel like I have learnt SO much (great question OP!).

Most important: I’ve learnt what my son needs from me. I was working long hours and quite career focused before. Since being at home, and seeing him struggle with anxiety, I’ve realised he needs me to be a more assertive, boundaried and visible parent. He needs rules, structure and to be told no a lot. I didn’t see it before but now I do : he feels safer that way...

I’ve learnt that I am less stressed by work when I’m not in the office doing it. I think I find the politics less onerous from home. It’s more about the work itself than the dynamics of the people around it.

I’ve learnt that my toddler has the most amazing, loving personality.

I’ve learnt I’m a loner and really only need my family (including my mum, dad and sister). I find my friendships a drain and I hope my friends don’t notice. I can’t decide if this is selfish or not.

That I really like my husband and that we are really are good together!!
That I love my house and garden
That I love Homemade food for dinner, and I really like cake!!
That I had forgot how much I like to read a good book
And that the electric bike I got last year is just the best present my husband could have bought me.

That I'll be leaving DP when I can
That I never thought I'd fall in love again (wonderful and scary all at once)
That my job was making me really quite unwell
That I never want to take friends for granted (or just walking into a shop!)
That I am very introverted but still need friends
That I am an even worse procrastinator than I thought!

That being in a celibate relationship (because DP will never address his health issues) is not something I can just put up with any more
That moving from London to the countryside was a very good thing
That 'D'P is an abuser, and not just grumpy because of unaddressed health issues
That I miss my workmates, even the annoying ones I don't gel with

That we are rock solid as a family. Hate queuing so get everything home delivered or from small local shops.
That I am a shit teacher but DH is great at it.
I miss holidays.

More likely to vote for Scottish independence than before.
Embarrassed to be associated with ‘Britain’/ U.K.

Looking at most of these answers it made me realise people with partners and kids dont seem to need social life and friends as much as singles who live alone,like me.Im crawling up wall without my normal social life and friends.I love company and though im fine living alone normally,in lockdown its crap.im not sure i could put up with it for much longer.The animals go in two by two and if you are a single living alone you dont have that companionship to falk back on.My mum always told me i wouldnt like it when i got older but im an only child so i always thought id embrace it, i do but without a social life and other distractions its no fun at all,and of course im childless too so no kids to ring me every day,or grandkids to look forward to seeing.Friends do stay in touch,some single like me,but all have kids or siblings,so really im only one in my position.And its much harder than i thought,lockdown isnt designed for singles.

@JFM27 I agree that lockdown is hard for singles. People living with their OH/family, have no idea what life is like for us.

I am single but live with DS 22, who is always in his room/on headphones/PS4 (furloughed) si no company at all.

I've learned I have very few friends, and that the group I joined a couple of years ago, these people don't consider me a friend, and I will be spending less time with them as a result after LD.

I've learned staying at home is not that bad.

I've learned I spend too much on shit.

I've learned that most people I know don't give a shit about me.

I've learned that I definitely need some counselling.

@CMOTDibbler I am truly sorry for your losses, my heart goes out to you

How much I dislike my job. It is definitely time for a change.

That my eldest leaving home will not be a bad thing for them or the family