What has lockdown highlighted to you about your life?

[Ilovetea09]

Morning. I'm on day 54 of self isolation now. We are stuck in groundhog day and The kids are finding homeschool difficult and they miss their friends.
But we have been so lucky with the weather and to have a garden and are trying to make the best of it. We camped out there the other night which was great fun. Something we would never normally do. My husband is still working but when he's home I've noticed we've spent a lot more time together as a family which has been nice. Just doing simple things like playing outside, playing with toys.
We have been getting more exercise than we usually would which is a positive. We are eating less and spending less.

It has shown me how much I love travelling and going to the seaside /or on holiday. I really need something to look forward to it seems! And going on days out and the weekend, we really miss that.

But it's also shown me just how introverted I am, and my husband. My husband has always been antisocial, he had a few work friends /aqaintencies, but he's let them slip away and now has none. He says he's perfectly happy with this as hes never enjoyed friends!
Im similar in that I don't have a large group of friends. I have one best friend who I've not seen since February as she's living at a hospital with her sick baby for at least 6 months. My only other friends are school mums who I chat to at the gate. I aren't sad we haven't got friends but it has highlighted it to me when I see on social media people hosting quiz nights with friends and having group video chats etc.
Lockdown has also shown me how we aren't close to other family members and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. We all live locally to each other and we saw my parents and in laws every weekend before lockdown . But it was tedious and I don't have a good relationship with my narcissist father so the meetups were never fun anyway. I feel terrible saying this but to not see them has been quite freeing for me. My anxiety around my father has gone and I feel relaxed for the first time in years.
I don't know what our new normal will be going forward after lockdown but I do know that I want to change some things to live a happier and more fulfilling life than we were.
What has lockdown highlighted to you about your life?

OP, didn't you go and visit your best friend and her sick child in hospital before lockdown?

@CMOTDibbler

I'm so very sorry about your parents

That I'm very very lucky.

That my commute isn't something in willing to go back to.

Like others on here, we are very lucky, we have a house and garden and live in a decent area with access to places to run/cycle/walk and shops within walking distance. Also very lucky not to have a small child to have to entertain!

Queues for shops are the worst aspect of this.

That I don't need to be out all the time doing activities with my kids , spending money. We have been perfectly happy, staying at home, walking and cycling locally.

That I would do anything for my 27-year-old son.
And that my DH drives me mad.

I am utterly surprised how well we get on. Its really bonded us as a family

Struggling to find many positives of lockdown. That I hate my job even more than I did before lockdown. Still going into work and working more hours than previously. Having to try and manage complex conditions over the phone and risk assess etc is stressful and exhausting. Lockdown is harming my kids. They are not engaging at all with school work. My dd aged 12 is constantly in a rage, lonely, hormonal and almost self harming. That sporting activities for the kids benefit them in so many ways and going on a walk or bike ride is an absolutely shit substitute. That my Dad is such a lovely man, always there to listen to me and lend support and I miss being able to give him a hug. That having things to look forward to and plan are important, eg holidays. That I need to stop looking at the school websites and twitter feed. Seeing all the photos that parents have sent in of their smiling children completing all their school work and and engaging in activities around the house makes me feel even more inadequate and useless as a parent. That I spend too much time on my bloody phone dicking about! Only positives are that none of us are ill, we are doing more baking, my dh has the patience of a saint and that my cat is v good for my mental health.

What has 'lock down' taught me?

It has taught me how easily our 'freedom' under democracy can be taken away. It has taught me that legislation which protected the most vulnerable (e.g. The Care Act 2014) can be superseded by legislation that makes them more isolated, less independent and more vulnerable.

It has taught me that I question the claims that 'lock down' is justified when those who are in the most severe lock down (e.g. in care home, hospices, prisons) are put at risk due to the lack of PPE and of testing for those who care for them.

Equally, it has taught me that 'lock down' has not stopped the virus killing or being associated with the deaths of over 30,000 people in this country and in other countries which had even more stringent 'lock downs'.

It has taught me that 'lock down' has widened the gaps of inequality and created social and economic problems from which it will be hard to recover.

It has taught me that our government is incompetent: copious amounts of testing, so that we know who has the virus and how it is spreading, proper protection for those who work with the most vulnerable, a focus on shielding, rather than drawing the economy to a halt might have been a prudent investment when we knew the virus was on its way.

It has taught me that for 'lock down' to work (irrespective of its effectiveness as virus control), people have to trust the government. I do not think the people of this country trust the government at all.

it has confirmed that people are incredibly selfish.

All the people moaning about lack of freedom, mental health being at risk due to uncertainty, lack of family contact, closed borders, limited access to medical care...

all these people never gave a single thought about those who had to go through that for years.

As long as people's little comfort is here, they don't give a shit about anyone else. Then they wonder why others are not more sympathetic when they lose a little luxury here and there, temporarily... The UK is not know for being open minded and welcoming to foreigners, nothing new here.

That I love restaurants and travelling.
That I don't miss the shops.

@bananafish please don't feel guilty. You love them. For now, that really is enough

It's unsettled me. I'm still learning I think. I'm off furloughed and so is my husband. We have been very happy the four of us at home. The playing games and baking and going for walks and bike rides is really only something we get to do on holiday or at Christmas, so that's been really great.
But I think it has taught me that I am working too many hours usually. I feel sad for the kids and the dog when we go back to reality and we're all back to rushing around. Also I think the rushing around working so much has masked a huge void in friendships. We don't have regular hobbies that involve other people or family or close friends that live in our town. I.can see all around us people are getting excited about getting back together and we don't really have that. Out family and friends are at long distances so our get togethers are often months apart. I think things need to change.

We spend a lot on travel and childcare! But we kind of knew that.

It's actually quite nice having nowhere to go and no need to 'do stuff' all the time, which I tend to feel. It's interesting because DH has always been inclined to hang around and do nothing at the weekend, so now I kind of get why.

DH and I do fairly well in crises (we've had a few in our time). We do have the odd explosion every couple of weeks in this, but most of them we have talked over afterwards and we've not got any low-level bickering going on.

I think DH has realised just how much more I do around the house than him usually and has started doing more of it spotaneously. Hope that one sticks!

How connected I am to my lifelong friends, who I don’t see much due to living in a different country.

How I’m not sure how happy I am living in the country I’m living in.

How important outside space is. My friends with kids who have a garden seen to have had a much better time of lockdown than those without.

How addicted children are to screens.

How different me and DP are.

How me and DD are not as close as we used to be.

Its confirmed to me how much I hate humans

Its really confirmed how much I actually like my (pre-lockdown) life! I don't think I even began to appreciate it properly. DH says the same.

OneandTwenty
I think thats pretty unfair. I will cheerfully moan about the things I miss right now. I have also always donated regularly to charity (have increased our giving in response to the current crisis), volunteered and voted for left-wing parties. I come from a very deprived background and know that reality. But do I love my normal life and miss it? Yes!

I really like having a full house- DH and the three kids around. Downside is I will need to have more in my life when the in not so distant future kids start to leave home.

The house layout is fantastic in a really great location can get out for countryside walk but still not hugely far from town.

Getting cats was a really good idea for everyone.

That the corner shop is a big problem for my weight - I'm losing weight despite doing less exercise.

Last few days taught me I missed old style films - last few days mainly war ones have been watching but the kind that used to be on Saturday afternoon on BBC2.

I could have written this myself... although I get bank holiday Fridays. Work, eat, sleep, repeat.
What it has highlighted for me though, is that I can do without "people" in my life....apart from my son.

Another here that is more introverted than I thought. I have also realised that my job takes too much out of me, I need a better work life balance.

My two sons 19 and 21 have been amazing, cooped up together for 7 weeks but barely a cross word, I love being with my family and I love pottering about at home.

Being in lockdown has shown how much love and patience my husband has for our boys, encouraging and teaching them new gardening and DIY skills. I have seen him in a new light.

And yes, spending, I waste far too much money. I have a lot already, I don't need more "stuff".

That I really have a boring life. I haven’t got any friends so I’m not missing going out with anybody although it is something I’d really love to do. I’m a single mum of one currently living with my parents so lockdown has made me really push to have my own space as my time is not my own. Have been working from home and it has been a struggle because not only do I have homeschool my my child but also have to cook and clean constantly for people who normally cook and clean for themselves. It’s been hard.

I really do hate my job (I was on my way out about 3 weeks prior to lockdown - got a new job. Lower paid etc but the current work then offered me more money and better support. Husband was also changing jobs so I decided to stay in case covid 19 got worse). I was furloughed for 3 weeks and have joust been brought out of furlough. The thought of going back was awful and although it turned out not as bad as I thought, I know it’s not me in so many ways. Currently looking at training options to get me out within 12 months...

That although I like my job, I don't love it and if I didn't have to work, I wouldn't.
I love my extended family and friends and miss them terribly.
I love outside space.
I don't need a lot of the stuff I frequently convince myself I need but I do having things.