What has lockdown highlighted to you about your life?

[Ilovetea09]

Morning. I'm on day 54 of self isolation now. We are stuck in groundhog day and The kids are finding homeschool difficult and they miss their friends.
But we have been so lucky with the weather and to have a garden and are trying to make the best of it. We camped out there the other night which was great fun. Something we would never normally do. My husband is still working but when he's home I've noticed we've spent a lot more time together as a family which has been nice. Just doing simple things like playing outside, playing with toys.
We have been getting more exercise than we usually would which is a positive. We are eating less and spending less.

It has shown me how much I love travelling and going to the seaside /or on holiday. I really need something to look forward to it seems! And going on days out and the weekend, we really miss that.

But it's also shown me just how introverted I am, and my husband. My husband has always been antisocial, he had a few work friends /aqaintencies, but he's let them slip away and now has none. He says he's perfectly happy with this as hes never enjoyed friends!
Im similar in that I don't have a large group of friends. I have one best friend who I've not seen since February as she's living at a hospital with her sick baby for at least 6 months. My only other friends are school mums who I chat to at the gate. I aren't sad we haven't got friends but it has highlighted it to me when I see on social media people hosting quiz nights with friends and having group video chats etc.
Lockdown has also shown me how we aren't close to other family members and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. We all live locally to each other and we saw my parents and in laws every weekend before lockdown . But it was tedious and I don't have a good relationship with my narcissist father so the meetups were never fun anyway. I feel terrible saying this but to not see them has been quite freeing for me. My anxiety around my father has gone and I feel relaxed for the first time in years.
I don't know what our new normal will be going forward after lockdown but I do know that I want to change some things to live a happier and more fulfilling life than we were.
What has lockdown highlighted to you about your life?

I hated exercising then.

I hate exercising now.

That dh is selfish and that walking is essential fir my physical and mrntal health.

That I don't have many friends.

That I hate living without a garden.

That my husband is great.

That I need more hobbies.

I've realised that my 'best friend' is actually weird ,health obsessed ( by health I mean menopause obsessed) and that we are probably not as close or have as much in common as I thought we were or had.
That my DH is actually my best friend and he's quite good company.
That I could manage fine psychologically not working.
That I love my house, garden and neighbours.
That my dog, cat and rabbits are great company and bring us a lot of joy.
That getting ill with the virus and the continued symptoms has made me appreciate my body and looking after it all the more.

That I have very meteorological moods. When it's warm and sunny I feel happy and spend the day outside. On cold days when I specs all day alone indoors (like yesterday) I feel great despair and boredom.

Have enjoyed reading this thread.

I suspected and hoped that lockdown would be a blessing to many.

Keeping things simple and spending less.

Resting, reflecting and bonding with kids and partners.

Time out away from difficult people - and family members.

Knowing own strengths and resilience.

The best bit for me is the complete break from feeling obligated to two family members. This lockdown was a godsend in that respect and the excuse I needed to keep them at arms length. Great timing too. Thank you god.

I want to live and for that very reason I can follow rules.

That my little family are wonderful. We are usually very social but actually a family of introverts so we don’t need external energy to keep going and keep positive. Whilst we have missed seeing our friends and families we’ve been quite happy with zoom calls. We have friends and family all over so have probably spoken to them more recently.

I’ve found out that some people who were always very positive were probably only like that because their lives just so happened to be going well. They are really struggling with change.

I’ve worked out which of my friends are the solid ones.

I’ve found that my mind seeks out the beauty even in the most tangled weeds.

I’m even more thankful that we haven’t maxed ourselves out on fancy cars, big house, unnecessary crap and by cutting out luxuries we can go down to 80% of one wage and still feed and house ourselves. Might not be living our best life but can’t actually do most of the stuff we usually spend our money on anyway. Many friends with big houses andfancy cars are bricking it.

I’m reminded how excited I get by learning new things.

Working in an office is really not for me. Well not the sort I have been working in full of sycophantic back stabbers. Money is really not worth selling your soul for, even Satan offers a better deal for your soul than big 4accountacy firms - so I need a different, more people orientated , kinder career.

I want to move to somewhere with fewer people. I live in the suburbs, I’ve love people being largely kept inside, fewer cars, air you can breathe.

This has been a catalyst to give us the confidence to live the rest of our lives in a way that will make us much happier.

That my past experience of living in a womens refuge, sharing a room with DS has helped in how I manage at the moment.
I have stopped viewing it as the low point of my life and can recognise what I gained from the experience.
We couldn't see friends and family then, I was in a very low place, had limited income but we got through it.
I know we can get through this too.

That my DH is a complete kill joy, I have nicknamed him the dementor in my head.
It was his witty, dry sense of humour that attracted me to him, and it seems to have disappeared and he is miserable, dull, uninterested and just a grumpy old man.

I am counting all my blessings, all the positives in my life every night before I go to sleep. I also thank all those out there still working and keeping us safe.

I have taken time to thank each person that has delivered and the postman for still working.
I can enjoy like others being 'at home', looking at all the money wasted on frivolous things.
How many creams I have that I don't use. How much advertising leads us. How I have enjoyed not having magazines to read that make me want things.

Yes, life is Wonderful and I am looking around me and listening to the sounds.
My mother used to say "look at what you have, there are always people less fortunate than you".

That I'm so happy I'm not obliged/guilt tripped into being around a certain family member all the time. I love them to pieces but they're so demanding of me and its been nice not to have to do things I wouldn't ever usually want to do.

That I have no friends. The one I did contact had actually changed her number and hadn't even told me, so that put me back in my box.

That I love spending time alone

How much i love DS

That I really do lack motivation sometimes and I love doing nothing

That I need to travel and go places to feel like I'm really living

That DP really is quite controlling and I'm actually a little bit scared of him.

That I love my flat - I was dreading the four of being confined here with my DH working from home, but it has worked so perfectly for us. We don't have a garden, but I'm so glad that I have window boxes in every window and tending and nurturing them (in the absence of being able to chuck everything out and buy new plants) has been the next best thing. That social media can be such a force for good - Zoom and House Party have saved my teenagers' sanity. They have been chatting with friends and working out together late into the night and I haven't felt the need to rouse them at the crack of dawn because quite frankly what's the point so they've been able to live at a rhythm far better suited to their body clocks. At the same time any stress and anxiety and FOMO has melted away because everyone is in the same boat. We are in Paris where lockdown was relaxed today so we can go out for the first time without first filling in a form and I think it speaks volumes that none of us has rushed out yet!

That even though we were thinking of moving before all this we are incredibly fortunate to be here at this time. We have a nice house with a large garden and little bit of land. We also have lovely friends and neighbours who are looking out for us. It has made lockdown so much easier and wherever we may end up in the future, I will always be incredibly grateful that we were here for lockdown.

That I do not want to go back to the office and can happily work at home. The amount of time wasted commuting etc has now become available for other things. I'm exercising more and love online classes. I am sleeping better. My skin is better without makeup and pollution to deal with.

I have become less dependent on supermarkets and will continue to shop locally and buy veg boxes. In short, I have no interest in returning to normal!

That I waste so much money! I couldn’t walk past a Costa/Starbucks without going in and getting a coffee or walk past Primark without popping in and buying stuff that I didn’t actually need.

It has highlighted to me that I am pretty content with my life, that I'm just as happy in my own company as when I'm with family and friends. I'm far stronger, more resilient, independent and more patient than I thought (despite crying every day at the tragic stories of lost lives). I would also have considered myself a realist rather than a pessimist or optimist. I know now I am an optimist. I am trusting of the Govt and have a good education. It has highlighted that I have good values instilled in me by my parents.

I have also learned that I struggle with persistent moaners and negativity and I'm glad I don't have people with those traits around me at this time.

It has shown me we are all connected, what others do affects everyone else, whether that is staying in or disobeying the guidelines. We are all one.

"I’ve found that my mind seeks out the beauty even in the most tangled weeds."
What a beautiful way of explaining that sentiment.

How fortunate we are, and how much time we waste in traffic/commuting

I love my little house and want to make it homely.

I have a very high, low relationship with DH. We either joking and laughing or arguing and bickering. I need to really look at this.

My mom is my rock and best friend and I will never taker her for granted.

My little girl is funny, intelligent and very intuitive for a 2 year old.I would like another baby as I believe siblings are important.

I hate being in the office and could work from home for the rest of my life.

I am social with whoever is in my life at the time, work colleagues etc.

I don’t really have much in common with my small friendship group and keep hold to them just so I have friends.

I don’t miss going out and spending money as much as I thought I did.

That were only here for such a short time. Most people’s life is somewhat insignificant to the wider world, we then all die,

@LunaLula83

"My partner is a bully to me and my child and I'm stuck"
It sounds like you are in a very difficult situation but can you do something to remove the words "and I'm stuck".
You don't have to stay and be bullied and let your child grow up in such an environment. Do you go out for walks with your child or is your partner always with you? Could you contact Women's Aid (assuming you are a woman) and the council to try and find somewhere else to live? If not, could you use this time to plan your escape?

Life is too short to live with a bully and your child shouldn't live in such an environment.

That me and DH are in real trouble in terms of our marriage

That i love working from home. Im hoping to continue wfh part time once lockdown is over.

Its highlighted how lucky we are... We are healthy, enjoying our little bubble