I have a lot of time for the Queen. For all those saying she only reads speeches other people write for her, you can't deny that she has a great amount of self-control - that isn't something other people can do for her!
Her husband says all kinds of rubbish all the time and her family keep making decisions she disagrees with. I'm sure there are times when she's wanted to run away and/or vent to a journalist, but she doesn't. However bad things may get, she is still in a position of great privilege compared to her people, and as such, she doesn't complain.
The Queen's quiet dignity shows an emotional composure I know I don't have. I might be generally polite, but like most people, there have been emotional crises in my life that have made me act in an irrational way. When faced with death, relationship breakdowns or just disappointments, I haven't always been the best I can be. I've shouted at people, I've snapped, I haven't always been fair.
I'm sure there are times when the Queen has felt trapped and wanted to run away and/or mouth off to a reporter about her problems, but she never has. She is lady who always outwardly has her shit together. That's what I admire so much.
It's never entirely been clear how the Queen serves me, but she's always been the reigning monarch my whole life long, which makes her something constant in the background. I expect I'll feel it when she goes. I guess it's no different to a relative who you've never spent much time with - you don't have an emotional connection, but if they pass away, you still feel shocked and upset, because they are linked to you somehow and they're suddenly not there. Change always unsettles.
I'm not sure how much I'll support the monarchy after her passing. She's been very successful at what she does and unfortunately, I think she's too tough an act to follow. Any affection I feel for the Queen is for Elizabeth the individual, not the position of head of state itself.