Anyone in their 40's have advice for anyone in their 30's

[Annamaria14]

You know they say that life begins at 40. I have been worrying and stressing quite alot in my thirties, I have been imagining myself in my forties, caring less about what people think, happier, wiser.

I am 36.

What advice would the 40+ year olds give to the the 30+ year olds on here?

Go for what you want in life, be it jobs, relationships whatever, never be scared to fail.

Stop worrying about what other people think, people aren’t thinking about you as much as you think they are.

Pretty much everything in that “wear sunscreen” song.

Get ready for a sex drive explosion
Its brilliant!

Yes to the Wear Sunscreen song!! Listen to that and take it all in.
Mind you, you'd get better value if you were 26

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97
Wear sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it
A long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists
Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
Than my own meandering experience, I will dispense this advice now
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth
Until they've faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back
At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now
How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked
You are not as fat as you imagine
Don't worry about the future
Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing Bubble gum
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind
The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. On some idle Tuesday
Do one thing every day that scares you
Saying, don't be reckless with other people's hearts
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours
Floss
Don't waste your time on jealousy
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind
The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself
Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults, if you succeed in doing this, tell me how
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements
Stretch
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't
Get plenty of calcium
Be kind to your knees
You'll miss them when they're gone
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't
Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the 'Funky Chicken'
On your 75th wedding anniversary
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much
Or berate yourself either
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can
Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room
Read the directions even if you don't follow them
Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly
Brother and sister together we'll make it through
Some day a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting but I've been waiting to be there for you
And I'll be there just helping you out whenever I can
Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good
Be nice to your siblings, they're your best link to your past
And the people most likely to stick with you in the future
Understand that friends come and go
But a precious few, who should hold on
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle
For as the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young
Live in New York City once but leave before it makes you hard
Live in northern California once but leave before it makes you soft
Travel
Accept certain inalienable truths
Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too, will get old
And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young
Prices were reasonable, politicians were noble
And children respected their elders
Respect your elders
Don't expect anyone else to support you
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse
But you never know when either one might run out
Never mess too much with your hair
Or by the time you're 40 it will look 85
Be careful whose advice you buy but be patient with those who supply it
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past
From the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts
And recycling it for more than it's worth
But trust me on the sunscreen
Brother and sister together we'll make it through
Some day a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting but I've been waiting to be there for you
And I'll be there just helping you out whenever I can
Everybody see it oh yeah yeah
Everybody see it oh yeah
He want you to feel good!

I found I started caring less about what random people might think of me when I was 40 - e.g. not worrying about wearing a swimming costume on the beach, because really, no one cares about a 40+ woman having a flabby tum and sagging thighs.

Thankyou madam bear.

Start thinking about long-term hair removal...

(when your eyes go, you won't be able to see what you're plucking.)

I was 49 yesterday. The more birthdays I've had past 40, the less I care about other people's opinions, particularly over what I should be like as a 40+ year old. It's quite pleasant actually. I'm still pretty socially anxious, but it tends to be based on specific things rather than low self esteem.

It’s better if you listen to it, but I love it so much 😊

Give less fucks

The two things I really take from sunscreen is not being reckless with other ppls hearts and don’t put up with people being reckless with yours..... this is essentially my life moto - Do no harm but take no shit

And the piece about sometimes being ahead and sometimes behind.
It’s not always easy to be comfortable with where you are in your life, it’a definitely something I aim to get better at

I think I take different things from it depending what I am feeling shit about 🤣

What anyone else thinks matters less

If you want to do something just do it

Look after and out for your friends. They are precious.

If you want a baby, look into having one yourself. Do not wait for the ideal man.

I'm mid 40s and am honestly fitter and happier than at any time in my life.

I've always been slim and sporty but smoked in my 20s (gave up when TTC at 30), lived with chronic sleep deprivation in my early 30s, way too much alcohol in late 30s, and have now hit a good balance. I'm healthy and active and I think that's a vital component for good mental health.

I left a deeply dysfunctional relationship which sparked a period of self reflection which transformed all my relationships for the better. My friendships are two-way and genuinely nurturing. I've learned how to manage tricky enforced relationships (e.g work colleagues).

Following an early mid-life crisis I retrained in my 30s and began a totally new and far more fulfilling career which although knackering I love.

The only thing I miss about being younger is the absence of frown lines and chin hairs!

Don't eat carbs
Don't get married
Use retinol

Didn't post the most important paragraph!

In short: keep fit, lose unhealthy relationships, nurture healthy ones, and if you want to change something remember it's never too late to change but also never too soon to start.

Oh butterfly witch is right.
Concise but accurate

Don't buy cheap throwaway anything anymore. Buy good classic clothes and household things that last, and fewer of them.

If you have 7lb to lose - LOSE THEM. They turn into a stone, and then 20lb and then 2 stone. Get your weight to where you want it and just do 5:2 or similar to keep it there.

Take up yoga. Amazing for tone and posture. Takes years off you.

Really truly stop caring what others think of you, especially manipulative people. Ditch them. Have fewer, healthier, stronger relationships. Challenge people at work and socially who put you down, not aggressively, just learn to call them on it and make it clear you don't tolerate it any more. People really do react better if you draw clear behaviour boundaries.

Go for promotion. You don't need to be capable of everything on the job spec list.

Ask for a raise - negotiate a better salary each time you move. If you work for yourself, raise your rates gradually until they are where you need them to be.

Make a bucket list. People think they are cheesy but I made one and just started doing stuff from it, routinely. Small things every month; big things a couple of times a year. By the time you are 50 you will feel so happy to have achieved or experienced things you've wanted but put off for years.

I’m approaching 40 and definitely care less as the years pass.

I’ve struggled to make friends in life - that’s probably another thread - but I don’t really understand why. But I’m caring less and less and actually lockdown is making me realise I don’t need all these so called friends anyway as I’m pretty happy with DH & DD.

Another thing lockdown has made me realise, which is mentioned in the sunscreen song, is that I really should spend some quality time with my parents while I still can.

I’m also realising I’m happy with a fairly frugal existence. I prefer a rummage in charity shops to a trip to a big shopping centre. I prefer my local pub to a fancy restaurant. And what I enjoy most of all is spending time with DH & DD, riding my bike, spending time in the outdoors/ countryside.
All of which are low cost / free (once you’ve bought the expensive bike )

I love my house and garden. I went to Centre Parcs last year but wished I’d had a staycation as my house and garden are much nicer than the lodge at Centre Parcs.

I don’t need much material stuff to be happy.

This realisation is leading me to reconsider my job as I approach 40 - I’m well paid but it’s really dawning on me how much time I’m spending working and not doing what I love.

I’m very much a “work is something that gets in the way of doing what I love” kind of person

Do no harm but take no shit < Love this so much

And Goonies never say die.

(And as you get older, you get Gooni-er. But care less.)

Don't feel obliged to get married.
Don't feel obliged to have children.

Get on the housing ladder.
Pay into a pension.
Give no fucks.

Don’t be afraid to be single. Embrace it and be happy being single. You’ll never have a successful relationship if you’re not happy with yourself