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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to move to Wales?

691 replies

dgarcia85 · 07/05/2020 17:44

My OH and I live in SE London and we are about to start TTC. We both agree we need to decide where we want to live as we want our kids to have a stable home and not move around. I work at a council and earn £35K. It’s a great place to work and I don’t want to leave. I also will be starting a second consulting job soon earning an additional £10K. My OH is studying p/t and earns £20K. I want to move closer to work most likely Purley renting first and then buying when we can afford too. OH doesn’t think we will ever be able to buy anything in Croydon/London and he wants to move to Wales where his parents are as it’s cheaper and they can help out with any kids. I’m from the Caribbean originally and I’ve been living in London for 15 years and made it my home and I don’t really want to start over in another new plus. Hi Plus I feel like our mixed race kids would fit in better in London and I love my job. I know Wales makes more sense financially but I can’t bring myself to agree to it and its now causing arguments....

OP posts:
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Oliversmumsarmy · 13/05/2020 09:26

SerenDippitty not Ambridge but I have seen the town mentioned on here a few times and it has never been anything but negative comments. Posters have also mentioned the people and how insular they are

I have met a couple of people from this area who describe their move away as escaping. And both separately describe as not really belonging in their family.
They can’t understand their siblings and relatives fascination with the place.

CottonSock · 13/05/2020 09:42

Wow, so negative. My dh grew up in London and never wants to go back, and never wants to leave cardiff / South Wales.. his sister the same.

thedancingbear · 13/05/2020 12:10

CottonSock, don't forget that Oliversmumsarmy is a property 'flipper' who operates (and has a vested interest in promoting) the London market.

I think there are a couple of others on this thread as well.

This is fine, of course - anyone can post here - but their persistent slating of other bits of the UK should be read in that context.

Oliversmumsarmy · 13/05/2020 13:17

don't forget that Oliversmumsarmy is a property 'flipper' who operates (and has a vested interest in promoting) the London market

Well I have a stock of one house atm

I haven’t “flipped” a property for several years as you well know if you had bothered to read my previous post in reply to when you told people I flipped property in London.
And given these places were cash buyers only because of the state of them then I don’t see the problem you have with that and most of them weren’t in London.

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 13/05/2020 13:34

I think Wales is probably a bit drastic to be honest, OP. It’s ok for him, he grew up there.

I agree with this. I am from rural Wales, and also lived in London for a decade. I'm now somewhere between the two - out of London but not far from other cities. Not really rural, but a village near a national park. Close enough for friends from London to visit and the odd bit of commuting. Still loads to do if you like things indoors (I don't), but loads of space and outdoor life. A friend of mine lives in Cardiff and loves it. But she speaks Welsh and is very patriotic. Personally I think people struggle with fitting in, from other things that I've heard. But this is just anecdotal. You are right about the mixed race side though - if you are out of the city in Wales, you barely see non-white people. And rural Wales, although beautiful, can be fairly bleak at times and very insular. Perhaps you could move out of London first and then explore the option of Wales later on. Giving up my job and moving in with my in laws would be one of my worst nightmares!

monkeycats · 13/05/2020 14:10

I really not a property developer. The only flat we have is one we bought a few years back fir MIL, but then she turned round to us and said she didn’t want it (after we had completed, but that’s a whole other thread). So we had no choice but to let it for a few years and the tenant is due to move out soon. But I’m not trying to flog this to the OP. Grin Its only one bed and not in her area.

Yes I developed one house, but that is the one we live in.

My DH has various business interests and one of his investments is in a small property company and I think they have about 40 flats, but they’re up in North London or in Birmingham or that sort of area. I’m hardly trying to instigate a MN exodus to the North Circular or Birmingham, led by the OP Grin I have nothing to do with Croydon or Wales and one more person here or there has nothing to do with the price of the fish. What difference could it possibly make?

Gwenhwyfar · 13/05/2020 20:29

"Personally I think people struggle with fitting in, from other things that I've heard. But this is just anecdotal. "

I've never heard of people having trouble fitting in in Cardiff. It's a city so it's full of people not from Cardiff. I don't get what the problem is.

BBCK · 13/05/2020 20:40

My mixed race daughter has experienced some unintentional racism since moving to attend university. People ask her the most ridiculous questions when they find out where she comes from: they assume she needs a passport to travel from her gone to uni, that she doesn’t understand how UK money works, that she has never seen a supermarket etc.

These questions are from Londoners to my Welsh-born daughter!!!!!

GoatyGoatyMingeMinge · 13/05/2020 23:47

Hi BBCK, your post is a little bit cryptic. Are you suggesting that black people would be more comfortable in Wales than in London?

Fromthebirdsnest · 14/05/2020 00:02

Cardiff could be an option .. Wales is beautiful , is rather live there than london x

thedancingbear · 14/05/2020 07:54

Hi BBCK, your post is a little bit cryptic. Are you suggesting that black people would be more comfortable in Wales than in London?

Of course she isn't. Where did you get that from?

I took her as suggesting you can find ignorant people anywhere you go. Which is definitely true.

GoatyGoatyMingeMinge · 14/05/2020 14:10

Hi @thedancingbear,

It seems pretty unlikely to me too, having lived in both places. But she starts her post referring to her mixed-race daughter.

Grilledaubergines · 15/05/2020 18:33

*My mixed race daughter has experienced some unintentional racism since moving to attend university. People ask her the most ridiculous questions when they find out where she comes from: they assume she needs a passport to travel from her gone to uni, that she doesn’t understand how UK money works, that she has never seen a supermarket etc.

These questions are from Londoners to my Welsh-born daughter!!!!!*

I don’t believe you.

Oliversmumsarmy · 15/05/2020 19:00

That sounds more to do with coming from Wales than your dd being mixed race

ZimgerianFamilyof6 · 08/10/2020 11:10

Thank you for sharing that. When you are from a BAME It really does help to hear that. We love South Wales. We would really love to move there, it’ll give us a better chance to build our pension pot too.

ravensoaponarope · 08/10/2020 12:22

People are very judgemental of OP's partner, why shouldn't he want to go back to his homeland?

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