To not want to move to Wales?

[dgarcia85]

My OH and I live in SE London and we are about to start TTC. We both agree we need to decide where we want to live as we want our kids to have a stable home and not move around. I work at a council and earn £35K. It’s a great place to work and I don’t want to leave. I also will be starting a second consulting job soon earning an additional £10K. My OH is studying p/t and earns £20K. I want to move closer to work most likely Purley renting first and then buying when we can afford too. OH doesn’t think we will ever be able to buy anything in Croydon/London and he wants to move to Wales where his parents are as it’s cheaper and they can help out with any kids. I’m from the Caribbean originally and I’ve been living in London for 15 years and made it my home and I don’t really want to start over in another new plus. Hi Plus I feel like our mixed race kids would fit in better in London and I love my job. I know Wales makes more sense financially but I can’t bring myself to agree to it and its now causing arguments....

[KaptenKrusty]

We have battled with this - husband and I live in London - thought we should make a move either back to Ireland where we are from or somewhere more affordable in uk - we have really decent jobs here, rent a place in zone 3 and can both be in work in 20minutes in our bikes!

We’ve decided we to just go for it and stay here / we’ve put an offer in on a 2 bed apartment - mortgage is pretty big - BUT - same as what we pay to rent a smaller 1 bed!

We are much happier here, don’t care if we have a child in a small space, as there is so much outdoor space on our doorstep.

We are city people - so have concluded that we would rather have a bigger mortgage, smaller place, but keep our jobs and cycle to work

[tara66]

I thought Cardiff was quite multi racial - docks/Tiger Bay/Shirley Bassey (who moved to Monaco)? Is that all gone? I don't know. Wales is beautiful. Can you give a ''trial''?

[Wtfdidwedo]

Council jobs normally specify Welsh as being preferred in the job description but realistically I know lots of people who work for councils with no language skills. FWIW I have an A in Welsh at GCSE and can just about introduce myself.

You could always use a website like Street Check to see ethnicity statistics of any postcodes you like the look of. My postcode in the valleys is 99.5% white ( one Chinese family apparently!). The area I lived in in Cardiff was 55% white however so there's a big difference.

[justasking111]

Well parts of the valleys are very depressed, I would be reading the local news, school reports Estyn, Rightmove, to get a feel of the place. Cardiff is amazing so I would consider compromising if I could work and live near there. If you are renting it is not so bad you will not be throwing money at a home you come to hate. You can move easily.

[nettytree]

I moved from near Purley to Blackwood. We did it mainly as we couldn't afford to buy a bigger house in Surrey. We were both working full time before and hardly ever saw the kids together. Love it here.

[RowenaRavenclawTheSecond]

With your salaries, I think you'd have a more financially stable quality of life in Wales. You would be able to buy a property.

If it was Cardiff, then I would say definitely move. It's a really nice city, and though not as multicultural as London is, it definitely has a mix of cultures. Lovely shops too.

However, there's a big difference between a small village like your husband wants to move to, and London (I've lived in both). Don't go somewhere you think you will be unhappy!

[Oliversmumsarmy]

With your salaries, I think you'd have a more financially stable quality of life in Wales. You would be able to buy a property

I am presuming there won’t be any salary or a much reduced one as I doubt they are going to commute back to London for work.

[sleepingpup]

I'd be wary of moving to a small village wherever I was moving from. It's not for everyone.

But Abercan is so near Cardiff I think that would be a great compromise.

Cardiff is buzzing and multicultural. It's a capital city so every thing is here in terms of opportunities, space, parks and lifestyle. It's great for families. Many speak welsh and many don't. I wouldn't stress about that.

Still you're the one who has to decide. Bristol is also a great place and you'd be an hour or so from PIL. I don't know how much price advantage there is now compared to London though.

[Tiredmum100]

I was born and bred in cardiff. I would say is multicultural so don't really think you're children would be at any disadvantage. However if you really don't want to move then explain to your husband. FWIW I love Cardiff and think its great city to grow up in. I went to uni there as well. I have moved further down west now, but even where I live now (village outside a small Town) we have other ethnic groups here, and as far as I can see no issues. Obviously a bit quite than London, but we definitely get more for our money down here and we have a hugh garden!

[monkeycats]

I think Wales is probably a bit drastic to be honest, OP. It’s ok for him, he grew up there. Yes life is undeniably cheaper, but you’ll be earning less so not necessarily better off in the longer-term.

I know you haven’t started TTC yet, but think about schools. Where are there good primaries? In Wales, would they not be doing compulsory Welsh and a different curriculum?

Could you not just compromise and move a bit further out than Purley? Sussex and Kent have some lovely parts that feel quite rural. The South Downs are beautiful and a lot less rainy than Wales, it has to be said.

Think about what what your kids will be doing / hanging out with as teens. SE London obviously has its risks. But there’s not much for teens in small Welsh towns and this can generate a lot of antisocial behaviour. There is a lot of deprivation in Wales - it’s not all idyllic obviously.

If you stay in London or the suburbs, any house you eventually buy will only go up in price at a different rate to elsewhere and this is the legacy you’ll be leaving for your kids one day. Plus, when they get jobs (I know this seems a long way off), chances are the opportunities will be In London. It will be easier to support them. Once you get off the London property market, it’s hard to get back on.

You won’t need a house straight off with a baby. Buy a flat in the recession. It can only go up in price and house prices will go up again at some point. Then use the money you’ve made to buy a house. You don’t get the price accelerations anywhere else really (we’ll not to the same extent).

[Flower1309]

Wales is lovely, much cheaper that London but still a bit expensive in some areas. I'm not sure I'd stay here forever but I wouldn't want in London.

[SerenDippitty]

I know you haven’t started TTC yet, but think about schools. Where are there good primaries? In Wales, would they not be doing compulsory Welsh and a different curriculum?

If they are going to school in wales from the off the Welsh language won't be an issue. Not like they'd ben going to school in England up until they were 10 or something.

[Wtfdidwedo]

monkeycats a bit drastic? Do you actually think Wales is that different to England?? Welsh education isn't massively different, there's no academies or grammar schools and Welsh is incorporated into every day lessons until age 16.

[TheTrollFairy]

You need to look into health care options in Wales. Sounds stupid but I was reading a magazine article where a welsh woman couldn’t get access to a drug required because it’s not funded in Wales but (from what the article said) if she was living a 3 mins drive away then she would have access.
I have heard that places like Ireland, Scotland and Wales are underfunded in a lot of areas of the NHS compared to the UK.

It’s a beautiful place though so I can see the pull of it!

[Wtfdidwedo]

Free prescriptions though, swings and roundabouts!

[OneForMeToo]

Honestly I’d give my left arm to live in Wales. If you have no family ties to London it’s a no brainier for me. But I’m a country bumpkin so I’ve been told or should of married a farmer

[Haggisfish]

It is massively different, yes.

[Wtfdidwedo]

Haggisfish ...?

[Ragwort]

I would be very wary, I’ve lived just over the Welsh border for 10 years and it really can be very insular and like going back in time 30 or so. The scenery is beautiful, house prices are cheap but people’s attitudes and the lack of cultural diversity is truly shocking.

[dgarcia85]

@OliviaBenson we aren’t married yet. We’re engaged and we were due to get married in August but we postponed our destination wedding due to the Coronavirus. I am sure about marrying him and TTC and this is literally the only thing we fight about (albeit a big issue).
Right or wrong I do feel as the main earner I should have the final say on where we live. Also I work in a niche area of law so it’s not that easy for me to find new jobs. He does admin so he can work anywhere really (he’s studying IT but part time and has another 5 years to go).
I think he’s right about us not being able to buy anywhere in London anytime soon. But I don’t necessarily think we will be able to buy a place in Wales either at least not in or near Cardiff due to his lack of earning potential at the moment.
Also his parents are only in their early 50s and still work so I doubt they will have as much time to help out with child care as he thinks.
I guess when all this is over I can go back to Cardiff and do some more exploring like someone suggested but I’m not prepared to just give up my job and move in with his parents til we find something else like he has suggested. We’d probably be there forever lol.

[Haggisfish]

I found there was an undercurrent of anti Englishness. The schooling system is quite different to England’s (and some say worse). I loved Cardiff.

[OliviaBenson]

I’m not prepared to just give up my job and move in with his parents til we find something else like he has suggested.

What?!!!!! Why on earth would this be an option?

I would not be moving with so done who even thought this was a realistic suggestion.

[lemontreebird]

I think it's a bit rich that you live in London, work in London, met in London, became a couple in London, and now he wants to up sticks and move to a tiny village in Wales. Nothing wrong with a tiny village in Wales, but it's not the basis you met on and I guess there was a reasonable expectation, at least on your part, op, that your future life would be in London.

[Winterwoollies]

The idea of moving to the middle of nowhere to be on top of my in-laws fills me utter horror. But then mine get right on my wick.

[TeensArghhhh]

It sounds like you have decided Wales is a nation of racists and bigots OP.

That is not the case but up to you really