To not want to move to Wales?

[dgarcia85]

My OH and I live in SE London and we are about to start TTC. We both agree we need to decide where we want to live as we want our kids to have a stable home and not move around. I work at a council and earn £35K. It’s a great place to work and I don’t want to leave. I also will be starting a second consulting job soon earning an additional £10K. My OH is studying p/t and earns £20K. I want to move closer to work most likely Purley renting first and then buying when we can afford too. OH doesn’t think we will ever be able to buy anything in Croydon/London and he wants to move to Wales where his parents are as it’s cheaper and they can help out with any kids. I’m from the Caribbean originally and I’ve been living in London for 15 years and made it my home and I don’t really want to start over in another new plus. Hi Plus I feel like our mixed race kids would fit in better in London and I love my job. I know Wales makes more sense financially but I can’t bring myself to agree to it and its now causing arguments....

[foggybits]

🤣🤣

[Oliversmumsarmy]

But these people would tell me that it was great where they lived and it was so close to X Y and Z one being a major City. (Not London)

I would start asking where was good to eat out in the City or ask about a tourist attraction but they had never gone.

It was 30 minutes away.

The implication is if I say I live 30 minutes from somewhere. I have actually visited the place.

It is like me saying where I live is an hours drive from Margate when I have never been. It is so weird

[sleepingpup]

So what's your point ?

@Oliversmumsarmy

That people on here are just reeling off distances but no one ever really makes use of that closeness, except you and your friends who do ( in London obvs ) ?

[sleepingpup]

Doesn't really matter if posters don't step out of their front yards tbh.

It's what's AVAILABLE to the OP.

Can't remember if the OP has said she makes any use whatsoever of the cultural aspect of London whatsoever. It's still available to her.

[sleepingpup]

Or might be in better times.

[SerenDippitty]

The last time I lived outside of London in a village near a really small town the people I met some only went to the local town once per year for Christmas shopping and in the town I met people who thought it was the centre of the universe and so fantastic in their whole life had never ventured out of the town apart for a holiday each year where they spent it on a farm 5 miles away

They would reel off how close things were but no one had ever been to these places

Was that Ambridge? It sounds suspiciously like it.

[sleepingpup]

Though like the village you lived in, a poster way back who taught in the borough of Croydon said she met kids who had never been to zone one.

That aspect of life doesn't change anywhere.

[thedancingbear]

Yes sleepingpup. That was kids in the classes my OH used to teach (peckham/dulwich borders: so you're talking zone 2/3). It wasn't isolated either - there were loads in this category. When they took them to central places on school trips, that was their first time. Pretty heartbreaking.

Tbh Oliversmumsarmy is coming across as quite prejudiced/ignorant about anyone from outside the M25. All londoners are busy cosmopolitans but people in the provinces have no lives and never leave their run-down villages.

[monkeycats]

I don’t see why it would matter who goes into Cardiff or London or wherever tbh? People will just do what they want to do, wherever they live. This is a non-issue, surely?

I think it’s ok to say you wouldn’t like to live in x place. If someone said they wouldn’t like to live in London because of traffic, costs of living, pollution, knife crime, whatever, I’d just think, “fair enough.” Even if they said they didn’t feel as if they would fit in to “London”, I might think they were making quite sweeping generalisations, but that’s ok. It’s everyone’s prerogative to live where they feel suits them best. There are loads of places I wouldn’t want to live, eg Scotland and anywhere else in England tbh. Even Surrey would be a bit much for me, to be totally honest, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think all these are gorgeous places to visit and have a lot going for them. It’s just not me. If I had to move to a more rural / suburban place, I’d go abroad to somewhere where the climate is slightly better and so would DH. I don’t think people need to get defensive at all about this kind of thing.

[foggybits]

I would argue that zone 5 & 6 are very much dull suburbia & would hate to live that far away from "London". However that would make me as prejudiced as @oliversmumsarmy 😜

[monkeycats]

I’ve had cause you come out to the wilds of Zone 6 today (at least think Richmond is Zone 6)?

Couldn’t the council have done something about the views?

[thedancingbear]

You know full well that richmond is not in zone 6! It's zone 3/4 borders.

It's a lovely bit of the world but blatantly beyond the OP's budget unfortunately.

Zone 5/6 west london (so the geograpical equivalent of Croydon) is places like Hatton Cross, Ruislip and Uxbridge. Not exactly cultural hotspots, and a looong journey into central london (unless you're lucky and live next door to a national rail station)

[SnuggyBuggy]

The advantage of zone 5/6 for me is that in somewhere more densely built you are more likely to have amenities and baby groups nearby than in a rural village. Obviously it's horses for courses.

[foggybits]

I was being tongue in cheek but Richmond is Zone 4

[foggybits]

Plenty of baby groups & amenities in Zone 2 & 3 @SnuggyBuggy but each to their own.

[SnuggyBuggy]

Isn't Zone 2/3 more expensive though?

[monkeycats]

Oh ok, I just always thought Richmond was Zone 5/6 because it’s the end of the District Line. Turns our it’s Zone 4! Anyway, it’s a beautiful town - love the elegant architecture and love the river and the whole vibe.

[foggybits]

Not in every case but generally yes.

[foggybits]

Yes Richmond is lovely & very expensive.

[sunnie1992]

Do you love living in london?

That's the most important question.

DH and I have lived in several major cities (including abroad).

We moved back to a town in the UK with two pre school kids - to get a "forever home" and settle the kids in school.

I've never settled here, even though it's a lovely busy town and I've made Great friends.

We are now planning to move abroad to a major city again, dragging three school aged kids.

If you go - get a job in Cardiff or Bristol first, and live there for a while BEFORE getting pregnant.

I suspect this man may not be the right person for you in the long run, especially once you have children.

Tred carefully.

[monkeycats]

We have friends who moved out to Teddington and we sometimes cycle out as far as Hampton / Sunbury (when DH drags me) and it’s really lovely down there. There’s lots of such places that follow the curves of the river and it’s all quite villagey, I always think. Those places must be in Zone 6? I’m sure there’s fast trains to Clapham Junction from all those places, but obviously no tube.

Anyway, I know the OP can’t live there (but to be honest she left the thread long ago and who can blame her). I’m just mentioning it, because it’s a lovely area with a real character and great for families, I would think. I had no idea “zone 6” went out this far though - I would have classed this as well into Surrey (or Middlesex, though nobody knows where that is and it’s not shown on maps, so god knows).

[foggybits]

Yes they are zone 6

[foggybits]

Zone 6 goes pretty far out with places like Banstead, Caterham, Erith, Heathrow, Orpington included.

[PurpleTrilby]

Don't do it OP. He sounds like a small town homebody who's never, in 3 years, embraced SE London and wants to drag you back there, after you've taken a 25k pay cut (WTF???). London is a great place, I miss it a lot, lived there a long time, and I think you would miss it more than is bearable. While I've not lived in Wales for a long time, all your misgivings are valid, plus all the others stated here. Sorry folks, but if you think a village in Wales, or even Cardiff, is going to be so lovely after loving life in London, you are sadly mistaken. I wouldn't wish that move on my worst enemy. Sorry, but he sounds like a dick.

[Gwenhwyfar]

"if you think a village in Wales, or even Cardiff, is going to be so lovely after loving life in London, you are sadly mistaken. I wouldn't wish that move on my worst enemy. "

You're going to have to back up such a sweeping statement.
I know loads of people who prefer Cardiff to London. They don't really miss spending hours on the tube everyday. They said they didn't socialise much in central London anyway.