Rude dinner lady in hospital

[fedup78]

I’ve been in hospital this past week undergoing some gruelling treatment, which has been very taxing both physically and psychologically.

This morning a dinner lady comes round, knocks on the door and shouts “breakfast trolley”. I said thanks and then she goes, “Oh my god, what do you want”. I ask for tea and toast, which she brings in, then goes, “Do you walk?”

I said that I can walk but not particularly easily - plus I’m not meant to be lifting things.

She then shrugged and said if I can move my legs I should come and get the breakfast myself. I apologised and said that nobody has told me this since I arrived - they’ve always just brought it into the room, so how would I know?

I then asked her to take away a smelly plate of half eaten dinner that has been in the room since yesterday afternoon and she said she’ll collect it when she’s done serving breakfast.

I’m feeling really fragile as it is without having to contend with rude dinner ladies giving me grief. The food is grim anyway (and they often miss my room altogether) so I’m not especially bothered if I don’t eat.

AIBU to think there’s no need for her attitude and that a little bit of kindness goes a long way?

I’m sorry to hear you’re in hospital.

But, what was it that you found rude? Or giving you grief?

She seems to be just doing her job.

A bit brusque but par for her course with non care staff being paid a pittance. I find it best to laugh it off and pretend you’re in Fawlty Towers or something when you get service like this

I'd mention to a nurse about the food being left in your room all day, that seems unhygienic.

I said that I can walk but not particularly easily - plus I’m not meant to be lifting things. She then shrugged and said if I can move my legs I should come and get the breakfast myself
She was rude and not very kind op.
I’m sorry you are in hospital 💐

@bubbly I don't think being paid a low wage entitles staff to be sharp with vulnerable patients.

She sounds extremely rude and unsuited to working with infirm people.

I'm not sure she should be deciding who gets out of bed etc. Ask a nurse later.

The dirty plate should have been collected the night before but you can't expect her to take it until she's given breakfast out as she would have nowhere to put it - they can't put dirty plates where they are serving food.

This would annoy me. I’ve had a few hospital stays and they’ve always come into your room and handed you whatever you asked for. I’d have thought this would be pretty standard. It wouldn’t have been hard for her to say ‘can you come to the door please’

Thanks for the perspective - I’m feeling a little overly emotional at the moment so maybe it got to me more than it normally would.

Very rude. Since when do dinner ladies allowed to medically assess if you are able to walk or not? She should just do her job and serve food and clear up the dirty plates. That’s what’s she’s being paid for. It’s like going to a restaurant and the chef storming out asking if you can cook your own dinner.

It’s like going to a restaurant and the chef storming out asking if you can cook your own dinner.

It’s nothing like that. How dramatic.

This morning a dinner lady comes round, knocks on the door and shouts “breakfast trolley”. I said thanks and then she goes, “Oh my god, what do you want”. I ask for tea and toast, which she brings in

I'm not quite sure what happened here. Are you sure when you replied that you wanted breakfast that she said 'omg what do you want?'. Seems an odd thing to reply to a patient, and is quite akin to the 'mumsnet look' (aka, perhaps you may be over-thinking what happened).

As for not removing a dirty plate, I can see why she said she'd come back after breakfast - she had a job to do at that time.

I'm sorry you're unwell at the moment. Hospitals can seem cold places when you're ill and just want to be home.

She was brusque which isn’t great, it’s unpleasant being snapped at. Nobody should be rude to other people.

She’s not a dinner lady though, her job title is probably “ward domestic” or something like it. Dinner ladies work in primary schools 🙂

Of course it is not unreasonable to ask to be treated and spoken to with kindness, especially in a hospital. Her salary is irrelevant.

I would mention to your nurse OP. I hate rude domestics. Makes working a whole lot harder!

I'm on the side of the ' dinner lady '

I'm not quite sure what happened here. Are you sure when you replied that you wanted breakfast that she said 'omg what do you want?'.

I think after the point when I said “thanks”, she was expecting me to come to the door to choose and collect the food, so when I didn’t move she got annoyed.

IME it may well be the hospital systems and procedures at fault and she just bears the brunt of their failings. If there is a rule that mobile patients have breakfast in a specific room were you told this on arrival? I found myself on a ward like that. Nobody told you this on arrival and I missed the meal as a result. Nobody was bothered.
There was very little communication about patients so the dinner lady may well not have been aware of how many patients were requiring meals.

After I got home I contacted the hospital and they said that there wasn't enough time to explain how the ward worked to every patient. I suggested it might be easier on the staff if there was a sheet of FAQs that could be given to patients on admittance but apparently that wasn't possible as it would have to be printed in numerous languages.

Get well soon

She’s not a dinner lady though, her job title is probably “ward domestic” or something like it. Dinner ladies work in primary schools

Ah okay - I stand corrected!

If there is a rule that mobile patients have breakfast in a specific room were you told this on arrival?

No idea as I’ve never been told. But every day since I’ve arrived it’s just been brought into the room, so I wasn’t expecting today to be any different.

One of the "dinner ladies" made me cry when I was in hospital. I'd had surgery, barely slept due to other people in the ward and the temperature being hotter than the centre of the earth, could hardly eat anything, they brought me normal porridge when I'd asked for dairy free and when I questioned it she threw a right strop at me, waved the menu card at me (where i'd clearly ticked dairy free) and properly had a go at me about how that was what the kitchen had sent. It was the final straw for me that morning so I hear where you're coming from!

She sounds horrible!poor you op and yes as a pp says it's not for her to decide who's ok to walk or not

It’s called a ward host. And what difference does the title make?

The rudest services and most unprofessional service or treatment I've ever had has been in UK hospitals. So many staff with a massive chip on their shoulder taking it out on vulnerable patients. Yanbu.

Sorry but that's rude, you aren't being over sensitive at all. There is no need for her to talk to you like that, I'd be pretty livid myself, in fact if I had strength I'd make a fuss and complain, because she will just keep doing it and upset others.