Rude dinner lady in hospital

[fedup78]

I’ve been in hospital this past week undergoing some gruelling treatment, which has been very taxing both physically and psychologically.

This morning a dinner lady comes round, knocks on the door and shouts “breakfast trolley”. I said thanks and then she goes, “Oh my god, what do you want”. I ask for tea and toast, which she brings in, then goes, “Do you walk?”

I said that I can walk but not particularly easily - plus I’m not meant to be lifting things.

She then shrugged and said if I can move my legs I should come and get the breakfast myself. I apologised and said that nobody has told me this since I arrived - they’ve always just brought it into the room, so how would I know?

I then asked her to take away a smelly plate of half eaten dinner that has been in the room since yesterday afternoon and she said she’ll collect it when she’s done serving breakfast.

I’m feeling really fragile as it is without having to contend with rude dinner ladies giving me grief. The food is grim anyway (and they often miss my room altogether) so I’m not especially bothered if I don’t eat.

AIBU to think there’s no need for her attitude and that a little bit of kindness goes a long way?

Babbas yes massive chips on their shoulder!

I worked many low paid jobs when I was younger, at not time did I think that it was a reason to be rude to people, I hate that assumption.

It's so clear from some of these responses that people seem to find being rude is quite acceptable now. It's OK to be nice to someone, even while doing your job, even if you are not paid a lot.

She was rude. Hopefully she's having an off day, and is usually nicer. It's understandable that it would bother you more than usual. Try not to let it get to you.

Did you change your name to start this thread because you have loads of previous threads complaining about people?!

I agree @1forsorrow. I've had great experiences with domestic staff/ward assistants. It is not par for the course.

She was totally out of order and whether it was her first or twenty first trolley service of the day is entirely irrelevant. If you’re working in an environment where you’re dealing with people at possibly their most vulnerable a little bit of common decency is a fundamental prerequisite!
Hope you feel better soon OP💐

I find the assumptions made by some pps unhelpful. We don’t know why the OP is in hospital so it’s unfair to say “you can’t lift tea and toast?!” or imply she should try walking asap after surgery when we don’t know the full details.

I’ve family members and friends that couldn’t lift tea and toast or walk much at as young as 24 due to strokes and could only walk during physio sessions initially. Others who have had bone surgery or bone cancer and who would have found even slight movement difficult.

Minimum wage is no excuse for rude behaviour. At the times in my life when I was on minimum wage I would have been horrified to think that people assumed that this meant I was entitled to be unprofessional and unkind.

I find it best to laugh it off and pretend you’re in Fawlty Towers or something when you get service like this

You’re right of course.

She was being rude, you are feeling sensitive.
I'm fairly robust but can still remember being treated like that years ago in hospital. Almost a sense of injustice at being criticised for something I didn't know.

Yanbu. It takes no more time to be nice than rude to people.

And if no one explained what to do, how were you to know?

🍇 Get well soon op. x

Of course they can be rude, it’s free so across the board the staff think it means shoddy treatment is acceptable and, they can say and do what they want.

They don’t work for free, so they “should” be courteous and nice. (As everyone with any sort of manners would be in general).

YANBU! Rude woman! I had a c section and literally hours after it I was on the ward and asked one of the dinner/servers whatever their actual title is for some water in my jug ...I was very polite, smiled and said "Sorry to bother you..." and she said "Get it yourself."

No kidding. I was literally3 hours out of surgery.

I snapped "I've just had a c section! I'm complaining about you." and I had NO compunction in doing just that.

Cow.

I disagree with people excusing others rude behaviour because of low wages. I worked in a horrific job for 6 nights a week at £15 a night, it was a 7 hour shift without breaks and the abuse was dreadful. I wasn’t rude to anyone! It isn’t difficult to be polite especially in a setting such as a hospital. Some people are just rude op, some just nasty and it’s honestly as simple as that. I’m sorry you’re so Ill.

She sounds rude and bad at her job. I agree it's not her job to decide whether or not you can walk.

When my DP was in hospital after a c-section, the woman serving the meals literally yelled at me for trying to bring her some food and would not listen to me explaining repeatedly she'd had a c-section and was hooked up to a catheter and couldn't come herself. Then when I ended up in tears (we'd just been told DD might not survive - she did), she snapped 'oh, you're too sensitive'.

Nasty, nasty woman. I don't know if it's a job that makes you feel some weird little sense of power over hurt people, or if it's coincidence, but it was really unpleasant.

Food was great when I was in hospital but I got woken at 1am to be asked what I wanted for lunch the next day. I have no idea what I ordered but they put the lights on in my room too
That was a bit astounding

Perhaps she normally works on the post natal ward - sounds par for the course on there!

I spent a long time in hospital very poorly a few years ago. The young lady who served the food brightened my day. She was just the most cheerful and caring and kind lady. It was a very difficult time for me and she made it that bit easier. I’m really sorry you had this experience when you are vulnerable and low.

yeah that's rude. every time I've had to stay in hospital, regardless of reason (ranging from tonsil removal, to dehydration in pregnancy) I've had food and drink placed on the table by/over my bed not had to go and get it

Just because someone works in a hospital doesn’t make them nice I’m afraid.
I’ve worked with some nasty types. Your ward waitress was pleasant in comparison.
She was correct not to take the plate though.
Tomorrow when she shouts try saying Good morning, I’m just coming. She’ll probably ask what you want and bring it anyway because it will be quicker.

You aren't supposed to be lifting tea and toast? I'm sorry you are unwell, but this isn't room service.

@Moondust001 I’m fine to lift toast off a plate and drink a mug of tea, but the doctor told me yesterday that I mustn’t lift anything remotely heavy at the moment, like bags, kettles, trays of food. I’m in a pretty bad way!

Agree very unusual response to your 'thank you' ! Did you not put your order in for breakfast the night before? That's what happens in our hospital

The response to my thank you is explained up thread on page 1 I believe. In this hospital lunch and dinner are ordered in advance but breakfast is done there and then - probably because it’s all cold options I would imagine.

I’ve just been in hospital & I know how fragile you must feel. Kindness is exactly what is needed. Try not to give the incident another moments thought. I hope you feel better soon.

It’s worth adding that almost everyone else I’ve encountered whilst in hospital has been lovely - perhaps I just got unlucky this morning.

I think you should ask the nurses what your can and cannot lift. Not lifting heavy stuff I get but not lifting a plate and cup seem a bit extreme.

Give the poor woman a break, she's probably stressed out her box in a hospital, limited PPE, in the middle of a pandemic.

Maybe she’s been redeployed from her normal GP receptionist role

She was mean. Hope you feel better soon OP.