To feel like the only woman left who doesn't shave her pubes? 😂

[phoebemakesnoise]

During a group WhatsApp with friends last night, conversation (somehow!) turned to pubes. It would seem I am the only one who doesn't shave the whole lot off. I've done it a couple of times in the past but it itched when growing back and I actually feel sexier with a bit of a muff! Does anyone else not shave these days or am I a vile ogre?

@fiveoutoffive

You specifically said: they were all middle aged and shaven, every one. I am not saying pre pubescent but definitely odd and not like grown adults sans hair, actually

I queried what they did actually look like, and why they didn’t look like ‘grown adults sans hair’ which is exactly what they were.

The differences between pre-pubescent genitalia and adult genitalia include lengthening of the labia minora, fattening of the mons pubis and a lesser proportion of the labia majora and pudendal cleft evident in an adult on standing. And presumably you weren’t looking at their genitalia in isolation so you might also have noticed hips, waist:hip ratio and breasts.

I am in my early 50s.
This was just not a thing when I was teen in the 1980s. You might tidy up a bit but no one expected adult women to be shaved. We shaved legs and armpits and were all horrified by hairy armpits but pubes were absolutely ordinary.

I assume it's a fashion change like the way we all plucked our eyebrows into thin arches and now people want giant caterpillars.

It's not for me, though I will trim a bit I dislike the feel of being even overly trimmed.

@chiyo666 do you think they all shave because they want to or because the men in their lives expect it?

I would say 20s and 30s shave, 40s and over don’t, but what do i know?

For those in their 20s and 30s do men shave bald too? If you have a hook up what do you see? Are you indifferent to what you see or horrified either way?

Asking for someone i know....

As Phillip Larkin told us, sex was invented in 1963 & became the norm thereafter, something similar applies to mass market shaved pubes and the year circa 2000 [another thing to blame the abysmal SATC for].

i'm actually laughing about how many people have clicked on a thread that's blatantly about pubic hair just to complain about it and ask why people are talking about it - why click?! 😂

my friends always discuss weird stuff like this, wondering if we're crazy or if the things we do that aren't ever talked about are actually totally normal!

i never shave mine off completely, trim down occasionally to keep neat if i can be bothered.

people who do shave it all off - (genuine question) how do you cope with the itchiness as it grows back in?

If it were purely personal choice it would be less, considering its expensive and painful

Pure conjecture.

Based purely on my own experience, it is neither expensive, nor painful.

Yes, the brainwashing is strong.

@callimano I’m the same age as you and have exactly the same thought process.

Some people are really dead against the possibility that there's any social pressure going on here

Yep, that’s what I find so odd about pube threads. I wear makeup purely because of societal beauty standards, as do all women. Hair removal is no different, but why do people have such a hard time admitting this.

I'm mid 40s, I don't shave.

I’m in my 20s and just let it grow most of the time. Only time I trim is when I’m in the mood! (which is rare. )
I hate the itchy feeling that comes with shaving, it’s awful!

I don't have an opinion on other people's choices but I'm in my 40s and get rid of most of it with DH's hair clippers, leaving a bit at the front.

In my teens no one ever discussed removing pubic hair except for "doing your bikini line" and it wouldn't have occurred to me to do anything further, but I'm glad it has now!

@fiveoutoffive from the conversations we’ve had about it, most of us do it because its leas messy for periods and because oral sex feels better.

Mine is preference because I just really dislike hair. My husband used to shave because he knew hair made me really uncomfortable.

But if people didn’t talk about it there wouldn’t be as much social pressure. So why talk about something that is surely private? I just cannot think of a situation where this topic could possibly come up with anyone other than an actual sexual partner. And I can’t imagine getting to the stage of stripping off with a man without getting to know whether he’s likely going to be judgmental about the existence of perfectly normal hair. Isn’t that why you get to know someone a bit first?

My mum also removes everything and she is 50 so not just a Young thing.

Ah I knew someone would be along to deny that it’s expensive and painful to remove pubs too! Bingo. Well it’s more expensive than not doing it, and either ripping your hair out or dealing with the regrowth itch is most certainly painful, not to mention the ingrowers. Permanent hair removal is expensive and professional waxes are expensive, both types that are less uncomfortable.

I did have a trim up and was disturbed to discover ginger ones!

No doubt I will be called prudish and backward now!

I remove my hair because otherwise it itches like crazy! I have thick, dark hair though, it's about the same as a man's beard. If I had soft wisps I'd definitely rock a full bush. Couldn't give a toss what men think, it's my fanny!

I had my first wax down there on my 16th birthday. I used my birthday money for it and had been wanting it for ages. I am now mid 40s so this was pre internet porn. I didn’t have it all of but just a small triangle of hair left from the clit level up. It wasn’t called a Hollywood or Brazilian then the salons just coyly enquired whether you were having a ‘complete clearance’.

The reason I wanted it done was I was/am very hairy and have extremely heavy periods. People may say it isn’t more hygienic but it is definitely less time consuming to clean a bald area with a wet wipe every 30 mins than it was to clean a hairy area, especially in a public loo. Great if you can shower at every tampon change, but I can’t.

Also all the hair gets in the way of tampon changes and it’s actually less time consuming to have a 15 min wax once a month then do a quick wet wipe, rather than have to spend 10 mins in the loo 10 times a day for 4 days a month.

@Flyinggeese, I use a Wilkinson Sword Quattro for Women trimmer. It's very good and keeps things lovely and neat.

Whenwillthisbeover Re your hook up question - as far as I noticed/remember: the minority had clearly spent time fannying about with it, and they were the ones who had a more porn-ey approach to sex, by which I mean, not much attention on me and acting as if it was all a performance rather than deepening the emotional connection

I meant to say from 13-16yo I had been using cream which was time consuming and really painful. Waxing not anything like that. I had pubes and arm pit hair from 9 Yo. The teasing was horrendous.

@Chiyo666 if you are particularly interested do ask her what age she began removing. Assuming she was brought up in the UK I would bet it wasn't in her teen years. It just wasn't part of the culture. We did "bikini line" but no further.