to be irritated to receive a card from MIL

[MilkMonitor]

signed love from Mummy and Daddy when it's addressed to me, my sons and my DH? I find it presumptious especially when she refers to my DC as her babies?

[fireflyfairy2]

Ok, I have already said, but I can't actually believe you are so worked up over something someone wrote on a card!

She is your dh's mother..therefore she signs mother

Have you told dh you don't like this? If so, does he think you're being unreasonable?

[MilkMonitor]

Who's worked up? I said I was irritated by it.

[fireflyfairy2]

Same thing.

[MilkMonitor]

Naw. Worked up is quite different in my language.

[mummylittle]

I can totally undertand u being irritated by her always trying to be your dc's mummy, as for her writing mummy and daddy in the card I think that is quite normal.
xx

[Spandex]

How is it normal to send a card to grandchildren (as well as parents) signed 'mummy and daddy'?

I wouldn't be happy about it either but then my MIL seems to think she is all her grandchildren's mummy!

[mummylittle]

Its normal because they are your mum and dad or mil and fil, what do u want them to write granny and grandad or their first names, it sounds like whatever they write would be wrong!!

Like I said before - i would be irritated by her taking over and acting like their mummy but just writing it in a card is harmless!! IMO!!

[Drusilla]

You could also consider the possibility that when your MIL wrote in the card, she spent ages wondering how she should sign it? And then decided best thing to do was sign it as though she had sent it just to her son

[unknownrebelbang]

What was the card for?


FIL signed my birthday card from Dad for (I think) the first time ever this year, and I've been with DH over 20 years.


I found it quite touching tbh...apart from the fact that the card was actually to sister-in-law rather than daughter-in-law.

[bozza]

Well TBH my MIL is generally a multiple card sender, but if it is my birthday she writes "Love X and Y", but if it is our anniversary, DH's birthday or Christmas she writes "Love Mum and Dad". The children will each get their own Christmas cards. My Mum does the same.

So TBH (leaving aside the Mummy and Daddy versus Mum and Dad issue) I think she is following common etiquette.

When I am sending the ILs a Christmas card I will write "To Mum and Dad, Love DH and Bozza", and the children will make them cards.

[mummylittle]

I agree with you bozza, thats exactly what we do x

[professorplum]

Its a bit cumbersome for her to put mummy/daddy/howard/hilda/gramdma/gramdpa. Her primary relationship is with her son so the most appropriate thing for her to put is mummy, if thats what he calls her. If he calls her mum and she is calling herself mummy then it does sound like she is trying to be mummy to your sons. Slightly creepy.

[shimmy]

Ok so

why would it be ok if the card had been signed from grandma? (as she is not actually your grandma or your dh's)

would it be OK if the card was signed from mum and dad? (although that is not what your dh actually calls them to their faces)

Would it be ok signed fom their first names? (when that is not what either your dh or your dcs call them)

Perhaps they could have signed it from Mr and mrs Bloggs?

Whatever they do it is wrong. Simple answer - return any cards unopened to them in the post as they will necessarily have offended somebody in the family whatever they have written.

[Hulababy]

If writing a card to all of us my PILs, and also my parents, would sign the card from mum and dad. We don't call them mummy/daddy anymore so I would find that odd.

If I am writing a card to my parents or to PILs from us all I would write to mum and dad.

If PILs send me a card on my own, i.e. birtday it is signed with their real names. Likewise if my parents send DH alone a card.

Both grandparents sign from nana and grandad when sending a card to DD alone.

[tortoiseSHELL]

Well when ds1 or dd or ds2 are married, I'd like to be able to send a card to them, and their family, and sign it Mum. Because I am their mum. And I hope any DIL/SIL would understand that. And anyway it is MOTHER IN LAW - i.e. a different type of Mother.

My MIL definitely regards her 'inlaws' as extra daughters/son - not in the same way as her natural children, but as part of that part of the family, the most special branch of a family tree - the branch that links parent and child. FFTV to quote cod.

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

YES.

[NKF]

She's got to pick one names to use. And she probably thinks of you all as her son's family. Therefor Mum comes naturally.

[NKF]

one name.
The more I think of it, I realise how odd it would be to write your Christian name in a card to one of your children.

[lilolilmanchester]

My MIL used to write "from Mum" in cards which were just to me. I thought it was flattering, it meant that she felt comfortable enough to write that, even tho I had my own Mum. We don't have MIL anymore and I treasure her cards.

[MilkMonitor]

But DH doesn't call her mummy. He calls PIL mum and dad.

Call me petty but it's indicative once again that she thinks she's my children's mummy. Obviously the card is a symptom of her treading on my toes. Again.

How am I supposed to explain to my children that she's signed a card to them from mummy when they know that even DH doesn't call her mummy?

[chocolateteapot]

I think she is trying to put her relationship with your DH ie parent into terms she thinks they will understand ie Mummy & Daddy. And all you do is say it is from Grandma & Grandad who are Daddy's Mummy & Daddy.

[OrmIrian]

"when they know that even DH doesn't call her mummy? "

Oh. I suppose that is a bit different. I had assumed that DH did call her that. Does seem a bit strange in that case. If he doesn't call her mummy why would she write it.

[MilkMonitor]

But this is what DH finds odd too. But he thinks it's harmless in cards to him. In cards to all of us, he thinks it's inappropriate.

[Lorayn]

maybe you should have a word with her and tell her from now on you want all cards signed from (grand)mother(in-law)to be no confusion.