What 3 things has mumsnet taught you about life?

[Pika09]

What 3 things has mumsnet taught you about life?

(Lighthearted obviously)

1. Never answer the phone if it's a number that you don't recognise or is withheld.

1. Never answer the door if somebody hasn't pre-booked an appointment and definitely not after 7pm, even if it is somebody like the police (see 1.)

1. Under no circumstances must you communicate with your neighbours except by passive aggressive notes about their legal parking.

Anyone got any others?

If you have a child and you work, you are a neglectful parent.
If you have a child and you don't work, you are bone idle.
If you drink alcohol, you are an alcoholic. If you don't drink any alcohol, you are a recovering alcoholic.

1. That close friends and family dropping in unexpectedly to see you is the height of rudeness rather than a nice surprise.

1. That "no is a complete sentence"; "are you on glue" and giving a head tilt and tinkly laugh in real life are wholly acceptable, rather than making you look and sound a bit odd and rude. (Fortunately I've never met anyone who has said or done these things IRL)

1. That some posters still start their own threads on schools going back - just in case they get different answers to the other 90867 threads that have already exhausted this topic.

That a lot of people 'get really angry' about things rather than having a calm conversation to try and resolve the issue.

A lot of women TTC do not have the patience to wait a few weeks but instead want strangers on the internet to confirm they can see an invisible line on their pee stick.

The ability to choose ridiculous names for ones child does not diminish.

You should be very careful about lowering the level of your garden in case it causes water to run up hill.

People often post looking for advice, but completely ignore any given, even if it's unanimous.

It's apparently extremely easy to leave someone or move house when you're having issues.

That absolutely everything has to fit in a neat box and have a special label.

Nobody is just plain horrible - they are a narcissist
Nobody is just wet and pathetic - they are a people pleaser
Nobody just ignores people they don't like - they grey rock them
Nobody just parents their children - they model good behaviour
Nobody just does the shopping - they meal plan

(I love this thread) and I will be judged for shamelessly place marking but the MN thread police!

You can start a new business, make money, not invest in the business then ask the people who made your business for you to bail you out because you have been greedy.

The use of language I only hear in real life from drunken/high young men is perfectly acceptable in polite society.
Many women don't realise that their partner/husband is capable of extreme abuse until they have had at least 2 children with him.
The majority of the population are living with a MH condition, even if it is only their daughter/sister in law that recognises it as such.
There are people who are so generous with their time and special expertise for the benefit of total strangers. For example on the Brexit data thread.

You will stink if you don’t shower, dry yourself with a clean towel and put on completely fresh clothing (underwear excluded) at least twice a day.

You can feed a family of 4 for an entire week with one chicken

Clothes left outside will get darked on

Keep your ducks in a row

If you’re the mother of a son pray to every god of every religion he doesn’t have children with someone who hates you

Shoes are disgusting and should never come into contact with any indoor surface

You should never allow anyone outside your immediate family to use any loo in your house

That some people can't count to three

That some people can't count to three

Hah! VG.

That any constructive feedback about schools equals “teacher bashing”.

That if your cleaner happens to forget to give your house key back you should call and log it with 111.

That any child who isn’t reading chapter books by the end of reception is “behind” and you should make an appointment with the Head.

That if your child comes home and says “no one wants to play with me” you must insist to speak to the Head.

This is my favourite thread ever

That if your child comes home and says “no one wants to play with me” you must insist to speak to the Head

that an anonymous teacher quoting a funny mistake from an anonymous child is a safeguarding issue, unacceptable, should be sacked on the spot, and possibly prosecuted for damaging the mental health and all possible future of the anonymous child and brought shame on the anonymous parents.

MN posters are REALLY strong on safeguarding issues like that. Other countries publish books about the funny quotes.

That a lot of people have no basis understanding of risk and are hopeless at looking at risk in context or comparing one risk to another.

That so many women in relationships seen content with so much inequality. I’m thinking of threads where the OP talks about her partner ‘helping’ with his own children, or where she just gets on with 90% of household chores despite working full time as it’s ‘easier that way’

If something minor goes wrong in your day, such as someone tuts in your direction, or the postman is 15 mins later than usual, you need to start an AIBU thread about it

1. StepMums are horrible evil women who want to steal your children and also never want them around.

1. All MILs are evil horrible women who want to steal your children and husbands/are jealous of your perfect marriage/family.

1. Even if you have 20 children, NEVER use a parent and child parking space.

Everyone drives and has a car unless they 'are rural'.

It is easy to just pack up and move house if you have foul neighbours.

People only buy supermarket clothes because of lockdown, any other time it is all posh shops.

Any odd behaviour means the person is on the spectrum or has early stage dementia.

Spiders have willies that they drag over your washing at night if it is left out.

Anyone who believes in card readings, fortune telling or anything psychic is mentally unbalanced and deluded and those that do not believe are perfect and know everything is black and white, even though they come across as complete arses.

If something minor goes wrong in your day, such as someone tuts in your direction, or the postman is 15 mins later than usual, you need to start an AIBU thread about it

and be FUMING about it, and give a chance to others to be so OUTRAGED on your behalf.

every. single. time

-That you shouldn’t really care or think deeply about what middle name you choose for your kid because it’s ‘never used anyway’ BUT if you choose something too unique, you WILL be judged

-that porn is the devil’s work

-If you have a friend with benefits you’re grim even though the people on MN that say so probably advocate for women’s sexual liberation

As soon as your child turns 18 you must never do anything for them . They are adults 🙄

Washing can get darked on and touched by spiders willies

Say WHAT!?

I've learned what a 'Wendy' is. Profound, huh?