To think my Sister needs to get real

[jarhead123]

Video call with my Mum & sister on Saturday. Sister has very different life to me, works very hard in office job, as does her partner. No kids, plenty of money, big house etc.

We're doing OK, average house, 2 kids. (all just for background info!)

Anyway, during the call she says she thinks shops will be busy after 'all this' because everyone has so much money because we aren't going out/spending at the moment!

I was in shock. What about those people who have lost their jobs/are on furlough? She seems to think life is rosy because they have plenty of cash, but doesn't seem to realise a mile down the road we're all donating money to our school go fund me to help feed those vulnerable families etc.

Felt really irritated after the call!

Well she might change her tune. My business may yet go under and my staff may lose their jobs. I'm hanging on by a thread. I was feeling slightly envious of my friend with her well paying secure job, until last week when she was suddenly and unexpectedly made redundant. All of a sudden I felt perhaps my position wasn't so awful. At least I will have the business assets to sell if we go under. That's something.

It’s soooooo hard chit chatting on zoom or FaceTime as we have nothing to talk about as we have done nothing !!! She was just chatting crap as she has nothing really interesting to say
Dont be jealous just ignore, I’ve spent shit loads online and may be in trouble in next few months

i think the ripple effect will hit everyone.even those with money.as availibilty of goods.the price rise.the food shortage or stocking.house prices.energy prices.large companys wil have to scale down or change.people who were certain they would be ok will feel it.it just depends how and also i think how much you had saved to begin with.
we will only feel the crops anddamge to produce next season and onwards.india arent picking in the rice fields.italian pasta factories.spain and africa who pick and grow our fruit and veg.

On the contrary, the posts I see on MN seem to suggest that abject poverty is the norm and anyone who suggests they are doing fine with money to spend are lying about it

Yes, I see a lot of this on MN and the constant accusations of “living in a bubble”. Words like most and majority mean something and the fact is that most/the majority in the UK are not living in poverty. That doesn’t negate the fact that some are, nor does it imply that it’s ok for people to struggle for food and shelter but the need by some to constantly “remind” and “educate” anyone who dares to have more than tuppence to spend is exhausting. As is the assumption that anyone who is financially comfortable must have lived their whole lives that way!

Of course there are people struggling financially right now but there are many more who are wfh on their usual salary, or furloughed on 80%, whose outgoings are a lot lower than normal. They’re not all wealthy, in fact many are low and middle earners who are usually hammered by the costs associated with working ie childcare and travel costs.

These people will have money to spend when businesses reopen and rather than boring on about how grateful they should be, OP and others should hope they get spending, otherwise more businesses will close pushing even more people in poverty.

Well, expenditure was up in March due to emergency boiler repairs but we’re intending to save more than normal for the following quarter because we will have 20% less household income from July onwards due to salary cuts across the board as our respective companies attempt to save costs to mitigate losses incurred by a global lockdown.
Still...better than redundancy.

Fashion retail is stuffed (still mourning the demise of Oasis & Warehouse).

A large number of leisure & hospitality jobs will disappear - businesses won’t be viable with only a third of footfall allowed through the door - pubs & restaurants.

A family member runs a high end furniture business and supplies mainly work spaces - he expects a massive impact on future orders with wfh increasing and corporate clients having to save costs drastically.

I’m definitely won’t be the only one keeping it reined in when restrictions are gradually lifted.

You are in shock because your sister thinks shops will be busy after 'all this' because everyone has so much money because we aren't going out/spending at the moment? Really?

Your sister is quite right in that many people will be out spending. Plenty are already queing every day at The Range, B&Q and Homebase and coming out with trolley loads of stuff.

Many office workers will be on full pay and saving costs of travelling, child are and usual going out expenses. We are better off now DH is wfh. If your sister's friends and colleagues situations are similar to hers then I can see why she thinks that.

YABU for not just explaining calmly about the vulnerable you have heard about. If no-one tells her then how is she to know?

I bet there's a back story to your relationship.

These people will have money to spend when businesses reopen and rather than boring on about how grateful they should be, OP and others should hope they get spending, otherwise more businesses will close pushing even more people in poverty.

Spot on @CantSleepClownsWillEatMe. There will undoubtedly be a bounce when things open up, coop people up long enough they will splurge for a bit when they get out. It will settle and there will be a downturn probably leading to a recession (and we’ve brexit to deal with too) But to suggest it will continue to be at the current levels is to misunderstand what is actually going on.

I am in your sister’s position (despite being on mat leave and being paid statutory) and so I have just shoved money into my investments as now is the time to buy. I would never gloat about that to my family who aren’t in similar positions!

Despite all the warning lots of people are not looking beyond 'release from lockdown' I suspect 1 year and more from now a lot of people who currently think like your sister will be in different circumstances. The global recession has the potential to change things beyond the recognition of what some people can imagine and will get a rude awakening. I can't see what handbag/jewellery/B&M tat/Next sale clothes that is bought after this lockdown will do to compensate for the years of potential hardship I fear is ahead of us.

I agree with RedAnts your sister is being very shortsighted. And so are the “I’m alright Jack posters on here”. 12 months down the line they may be singing a different tune.

DM has been furloughed initially at 100% now at 80% she's saving her commute costs and isn't able to go out and is only shopping for essentials, DF is retired so his pensions are the same, they are better off financially. Close friends one is a nurse the other a retail manager, the latter furloughed at 100% the former doing shed loads of overtime and they're saving 2x nursery bills, they are better off financially. Other friends both teachers, doing one day each in school and teaching remotely saving £160 a month on fuel alone plus not having to pay via fares for two teen DSs and no social or extracurricular expenses for them. DH and I are both still working so on full pay but not paying a nursery bill, we're also WFH on some days and parking is now free where we both work, we usually take DS out most weekends etc so we're financially better off (shattered though).
I do realise there are some people affected financially DB is self employed and above the threshold for government help and SIL world very part time so they don't pay for childcare, she's furloughed on 80% and DB is getting nothing, they have savings but their spending habits are likely to be affected for at least a year after this.
You're no different to the person you're annoyed at in that you're making sweeping generalisations based on your own experience.

My sister and I don't get on and we rarely meet but to come on MN and bitch about your own sister, you must really dislike her, and are jealous of her and her money and big house it seems.

What she said is the reality for a lot of people and they and their money are going to be needed to get the economy on its feet again.

You are also correct that there will be some affected negatively and hopefully their circumstances will improve after lockdown ends.

12 months down the line they may be singing a different tune.

This is true at any time though. Most people spending in 2007 would never have imagined the biggest banks needed to be bailed out by the taxpayer a year later. Most people in a seemingly secure job, with business going well, wouldn’t think 12 months later they could lose their job when a huge business goes under. But it happens.

Sure people need to save for a rainy day and that’s something I’ve always been able to do, but you appear to suggest nobody spends now in case something happens in 12 months. That isn’t going to help the economy one bit and certainly won’t help those who’s jobs depend on people spending disposable income. That’s the path to a long, deep recession.

She is a jerk who doesn't know any truly wealthy people. And thinks a couple of 100,000 quid salaries is something remarkable.

A friend of mine tells me she has £800 surplus from not commuting, or buying lattes and sandwiches from Pret. Guess she will spend it on clothes and shoes as soon as the shops reopen. Whats wrong with that? Its none of my business whether she donates to food banks or bakes cakes for the NHS.

I’m a lone parent in a low income job and exp has not paid the measly amount of maintenance he normally does since this happened. I’ve got more money in my bank than I’ve had for years thanks to the extra tax credits, not paying for all the clubs, Weekend entertainment, no petrol costs, meal planning to avoid shopping as often. I’ve lots of friends with different home set ups in similar financial positions for one reason or another. She wasnt BU to recognise her and others might be in this position

Some people are definitely better off at the moment. My brother is a teacher and his subject is not one that needs much input from a homeschooling perspective. He is basically sat in the garden whilst sending a few emails on full pay. He has no commuting costs etc so is saving a significant chunk of money.

I think its kind of natural to see the world through a lens of..your personal circumstances. I think you are doing the same in a way too, most do. I know I do, I CAN think beyond that of course, but as a goto..which it would be in normal conversation I do tend to assume everyone is having the same issues as me.

LIVE AND LET LIVE

As others have said, not everyone is in the same circumstance. It is important not to assume everyone is the same as you. But the simple fact is for those, like DH and I, who are working from home on full pay we are saving money and will be able to spend extra when allowed to.

No one is assured a job but I work in the public sector and are pregnant so feel quite safe and DH is relatively senior so again feels safe-ish.

I agree it is annoying if she assumed everyone was in the same situation, but I dont get the sense that's what she did.

Does she not read newspapers? We're gaining financially due to savings on childcare, travel and dining out as we're both working from home. We're definitely not going to splurge when lockdown is lifted. We'll get what we need, no more no less. This is at best a 2 year problem and a lot can change in two years. Hell a lot changed overnight for goodness sake.

My household has become instantly better off, DP and I not furloughed, commuting and childcare costs suddenly come to an end. I'm very aware that this is a very fortunate position and so many people and families will be really struggling (not just financially). So many hardworking families, employees and businesses who dont deserve to be on the shitty end of this situation. It's heartbreaking.
Whilst, I'm fortunate to not financially struggle (yet) I am making more of an effort to support local and small businesses where I can - it's a drop in the ocean I know

I have a low paid not very great or specialist job (think about 20k annual salary before tax) so don’t generally have any money left at the end of the month. However because my industry is secure and my job got us working from home early on, I have had no money problems but have saved a lot on transport, food, etc. So I definitely will have a bit saved up and am looking forward to be able to spend a bit when this is all over! For instance, I haven’t had new clothes in over five years, probably more like 10. So I will probably spend about £200 getting some new clothes.
So it’s not massive amounts but a lot of people will be in that situation, it’s not just people you’d normally think of as being high paid or very comfortable.

She just has a different (not wrong) perspective than you do. Personally I go to restaurants a couple of times a week, out for coffee once a week, maybe out for a sunday afternoon on the pub. This isn't happening at the moment therefore I've saved money. At the same time, I do appreciate that not everyone is in the same set of circumstances as me.

What's wrong with that?

Yeah the way it was worded may have been a bit insensitive. But I'm in the same situation where I have saved money during this lock down.

I haven't been able to spend what I normally would coupled with the fact I'm saving money in other places

So I will be shopping when this is done. And I don't feel bad about it, our economy needs it