To think my Sister needs to get real

[jarhead123]

Video call with my Mum & sister on Saturday. Sister has very different life to me, works very hard in office job, as does her partner. No kids, plenty of money, big house etc.

We're doing OK, average house, 2 kids. (all just for background info!)

Anyway, during the call she says she thinks shops will be busy after 'all this' because everyone has so much money because we aren't going out/spending at the moment!

I was in shock. What about those people who have lost their jobs/are on furlough? She seems to think life is rosy because they have plenty of cash, but doesn't seem to realise a mile down the road we're all donating money to our school go fund me to help feed those vulnerable families etc.

Felt really irritated after the call!

A friend of mine said at the beginning, imagine how much money we'll save by not going out.
She can do her job from home but admits she has lots more free time.
I pointed out (straight away) that lots of people wont be making any money either.
Also depends what how much disposable income you have to start with.
Some friends go out to eat multiple times a week, have beauty treatments most weeks , go to concerts and shows a few times a month. They will be saving a fortune. We have takeaways about 4 times a year, and I have my hair or nails done about twice a tear so even if we were in same income (we're not) we eouldnt be saving an awful lot.

@Washyourhandsyoufilthyanimal - it must be lovely to live in your little bubble

Tell her! It's your civic duty to do so. I have lots of relatives who are wealthy, own a bit of land etc and they've all been doing OK over most the 'austerity' years, and aren't touched by the lockdown either.

We don't see that much of them these days, as we make them uncomfortable; we are clearly a long way down the social hierarchy from them and when they say idiotic things like your sister does we talk about it.

I introduced one of my cousins to a family who live across the rroad from, an fairly ordinary family in my world. My cousin told me later that he had never met any people like that he had no idea how they managed to live day to day and how much he admired them.

This happpens whenever one of my relatives meeets one of my friends.

I love my family dearly btw, but they inhabit a different world.

Please tell your sister when she comes out with rubbish like this. The more people who know there is a different kind of life going on in the same society as theirs, the more chance we have of developing enough of a collective social conscience to do something about the appalling disparities.

As soon as it’s possible to we’ll be out spending money helping local businesses, can’t wait to go for an indians and few drinks!

I'm wondering how many people are going to realise how much money they were wasting pre-lockdown...

jux - they are probably sick of you preaching at them, not that you make them uncomfortable. The sister said nothing wrong. Only on MN is there this pretence that vast swathes of the population are absolutely destitute and that the remainder live in ivory towers. Bizarre.

simple law of averages. There's a good percentage chunk of self employed people who have no income for example. And look at the figures of children who haven't got enough to eat since Lockdown.

None of what you mention falls under the simple law of averages. And none of it supports your assertion that most will not have enough money to be able to go shopping when things open up.

But since you asked, the figures are : of the nearly 11 million children in the U.K., a self reported poll showed that nearly half of the 15.4% of children eligible for free school meals report not receiving support during Covid. That’s approximately 830k kids. Too many, yes, but not most, not by a long shot.

1.5 million adults said they can’t obtain enough food (note - that doesn’t mean they can’t afford to buy it, just that they can’t get it. It can also include a lack of access due to lockdown) that’s about 55 million adults who are obtaining enough food.

5 million people are self employed. About 3.8 million are covered by the scheme. Let’s assume the rest of them aren’t working (even though many of them still are, because they work in e.g the construction industry which is still working, or as delivery drivers, hauliers etc) That’s 1.2 million, given the 32.5 million in the workforce, again these people don’t represent “many” by a long margin.

I am under no illusions that the lockdown will impact of finances of families all over the U.K. and some will be in a worse position than they were prior to it, it’s nit good and I hope the government will continue to support people after lockdown is eased. But the numbers simply do not support your assertion that people who will be able to go out and spend when lockdown is lifted are the exception rather than the rule.

How can you be spending more during lockdown? I understand lots of people are earning less or nothing but how can people be spending more?

But the scheme for self employed people will not start until mid June. I don't disagree that some will be better off for all the reasons listed, but I doubt that it's the great majority, so often presented by MN. There will be real hardship for some & we shouldn't forget that.

@Quartz2208

Well she’s right for many people it will be like that, that does not change because some will have been devastated. There are others struggling who will need people spending at their businesses for the sake of their livelihoods and economy. Your sister may have been speaking from her experience. If your experience is different why didn’t you share that? Isn’t that what conversation is for. Youre v U to take such offence.

im sure youre both right-some people will have no job and be skint others furloughed or working but spending less

we will need people to go back to the shops and spend when this is over

Ignore that last post - fat fingers.
@Candyfloss99 - imagine you live pay check to pay check & your transport costs are low / non existent. Take 20% pay cut. Then factor in that food prices have risen and that you no longer have the same ability to shop round / look for bargains. That's how.

Your ds may not be tactful but to some extent she’s correct.
We have a pension so are not affected but I buy my dm a shop, I sent chocolate to my df because he’s lonely in isolation, I sent a game to my dgs. It helps keep the economy going and it’s a treat for my family.
Why not suggest to your ds that if she wants to there are food banks she could donate to.

@luckylavender I see. Thanks for explaining.

missyB1

How can the sister be corrected? Neither person is wrong, they both have different lifestyles which have led them down different financial paths. The sister is right in that a proportion of the population will have saved plenty of money and will go out and spend it when the shops open and the op is right in that not everyone will be in that situation.

I am not sure why people who are better off than you should somehow have to apologise for it? She's not wrong, some people will have plenty to spend and will get on and spend it when there is an opportunity to do so. That doesn't necessarily mean those people don't understand where others are coming from or that there are people who won't have money to spend. Being angry but not saying anything is a bit of a wasted emotion in all of this.

Its true. For some people working from home, salary going into bank. Some outgoings gone down so money saved.
But I think in the next 2 years alot of companies will have to reduce their staff numbers.

We have a company with 90 people to pay. Currently they are being paid. The directors taken a big cut in pay. This can only go on for so long before we have to rethink our business model and the rethink will be in the months after the lockdown. Might be wise to stick some monies aside...

This isn't really about money or how much money she or you actually has.
Context is 2 adult sisters were in a conference with their Mother.
When you are with your Mother or a sibling, the part of you that is a child will always swim right up to the surface and poke her head out.
There's a lot going on there already under the surface between you three.
Your sister made a 'throwaway' remark. If a stranger in a shop or your friend made this remark you wouldn't take it so seriously.
What it said to you was...'Life is very hard for me. My sister can't relate to this because she's always had it easy. My mother can't see this either. No one understands me'.

but I doubt that it's the great majority, so often presented by MN. There will be real hardship for some & we shouldn't forget that.

Some, yes. Most? Not likely.

On the contrary, the posts I see on MN seem to suggest that abject poverty is the norm and anyone who suggests they are doing fine with money to spend are lying about it.

Some people live in their little bubble and appear to be unaware of the struggles of others.

Perhaps next time say "I'm sure not everyone will have lots of money after this is over, eg those that have lost their jobs/their businesses/built up mortgage arrears whilst on lower furloughed pay etc" Then leave it.

I'm wondering how many people are going to realise how much money they were wasting pre-lockdown

Me too.

Billyeyelash I'm aware that in the sector that I am in the company I work for is looking to be like the last one standing, so I can't take my job for granted.

The government could try to get civil servants to give up their jobs

Would that be the ones working on the furlough schemes, loans/grants to business and self employed, or the ones co-ordinating other aspects of Covid19?

I’m definitely better off. NHS (like a million other people) so still working and getting paid as normal but not going out, no takeaways, no school dinners, no clothes. I will definitely be in the shops once they open as all of us need (as opposed to want) new clothes and shoes.
My food bill has gone up but that’s compensated by not constantly topping up the kids school dinner accounts. My petrol is less, my theatre tickets have been refunded, kids and my gym/swimming etc is suspended etc. I am spending a ton on printing out school resources but that’s about it.
I know loads of people are really struggling but equally, loads have the same income and vastly reduced expenses.

I'm saving a lot - my train alone was £300 per month. But rather than building up pent-up demand for when the shops open, its opened my eyes to how much waste I spent money on. Mostly not needed. So I'm getting the taste for saving which I never had before.