To think my Sister needs to get real

[jarhead123]

Video call with my Mum & sister on Saturday. Sister has very different life to me, works very hard in office job, as does her partner. No kids, plenty of money, big house etc.

We're doing OK, average house, 2 kids. (all just for background info!)

Anyway, during the call she says she thinks shops will be busy after 'all this' because everyone has so much money because we aren't going out/spending at the moment!

I was in shock. What about those people who have lost their jobs/are on furlough? She seems to think life is rosy because they have plenty of cash, but doesn't seem to realise a mile down the road we're all donating money to our school go fund me to help feed those vulnerable families etc.

Felt really irritated after the call!

Why didn't you just say at the time instead of moaning about her on the internet?

And I'd say YABU. She's right, the queue for Homebase was bigger than the Morrison's next door yesterday apparently

Your sister is right it will happen and for those who have been furloughed it is necessary to restart the economy

But I can see why her not realising that some people have it worse is irritating

I think this is about bitterness/envy of the fact the sister is financially secure. Twice in the very short op she mentioned the sister had “plenty of money”. Potentially the sister was rubbing her nose in it, because she knows the op doesn’t. Or she may have just been thoughtless. Who knows. Some sisters play act at being nice.

Either way the sister is fundamentally correct for a large amount of people. The op is likely fundamentally wrong that schools will need to step in to collect money for families.

Also don't really get the go fund me, those eligible for FSM have vouchers or access to a hot meal, I know that doesn't cover everyone who is struggling; but they are largely better provided for than some of society. Why aren't people donating to the foodbank who will be able to supply those with children as well as others in the community? I don't know particularly why you mention she doesn't have children either, do you feel she should be subsiding others rather than shopping because she has either chosen (or sadly had the choice taken away) to not have children? Either way, maybe you would like some salt for the chip on your shoulder.

nobody can be 100% sure that they have job security I feel.

This was true long before lockdown. We have been through such a period of economic uncertainty, with more to come from Brexit, job certainty hasn’t been a thing for a long time now.

some people, not a lot of people.

Really @luckylavender? Of course, you have statistics to back that up? No, didn’t think so.

But she's right! I mean obviously she was being a bit insensitive by saying "everyone" rather than "lots of people" but that's a minor quibble.

Also some people on furlough have had their extra 20% made up by their company so are on full pay woth minimal expenditure. Even those who haven't, from my personal experience (again obviously doesn't apply to all) have found that the missing 20% is cancelled out by lower tax, ni, student loan repayments, no transport costs, childcare fees, minimal socialising, holidays refunded.. so again are doing ok financially.

That's the whole reason the government made furlough pay so high, rather than just the bare minimum for people to be able to survive - they want people to continue spending.

She's right for some. Benefits have been extended, people furloughed on 80% but not spending money on childcare, travel, luxuries, etc. there are threads on here stating that's the case for some. She's not wrong but it won't be everyone.

YABU I don't see what the issue is. Maybe you already have an issue with her and this has irritated you further

Yes, she's right about lots of people. And they aren't necessarily wealthy types either. There are lots of people who are still in (not necessarily well-paid) work, but who are spending less because there's less opportunity to do so.

I'm usually a bit tight and only on a very average income...but my plan is to spend as much as possible once I have the opportunity a) because the reduction of savings rates makes saving money basically a loss and b) I've realised all I've missed out on by focussing on saving

I will keep a years income saved just in case and some of my spending will be practical such as home improvements and paying a bit more off the mortgage....but when it is safe to go to a pub or go on holiday I will be going. Rather than focussing on saving for a rainy day....well now I've been through a rainy day and have realised I should have enjoyed the sunny ones more, and while it's sensible to have one good umbrella for the rain, having five doesn't keep you any dryer!

Sorry very mixed metaphor there but basically I've realised that while everyone should have some savings if they can, there's a line between that and just hoarding money for the sake of it rather than enjoying life.

She’s right. And in truth even those who are in lower paid jobs are likely to have saved money, on petrol/work clothes/commuting costs/childcare.

of course some people are struggling financially,but they’re very much not in the majority, it just suits some to say that - reminds me of the poster the other day who suggested that the UK was heading for 3rd world status.

And I don’t know a single person who is donating to a school go fund me, are you sure it’s legit?

I think it highlights the differences between different groups.
Many office workers will be working from home and getting paid. They will not be spending their money of coffees, and lunches, or pub evenings. So this group will have more money, and they are still getting paid, but will have spent less.

Others will be furloughed, made redundant, and be wondering whether they can pay the rent/mortgage, or be relying on food banks.
Businesses will be going bust, and some people's life work will be gone. These people will be struggling financially, and desperate for things to be back to normal, (or as normal as they ever will be).

There will be families living in large houses with gardens, who have the space and IT facilities and drive to be homeschooling their children, or helping with their school work. With space to play in their large gardens etc.

Then there will be families struggling in a small 2 bed flat, with no garden, who lack the space to Work from Home, if they are lucky to be working, but otherwise may lack the drive, IT facilities to help children do school work, and will have to use communal spaces, such as lifts, stairs, firedoors, to take their children to the nearest park.

I think those in the latter group will be struggling, and not just financially.

To be fair even with being furloughed, we have saved a fair bit of money from not eating out etc.

There are plenty of people still working that are saving. I imagine they will be spending money when shops open.

It's just stating a fact. And I think the retail industry will welcome them after lockdown ends.

To be honest, the people who were on an edge, werent the people out spending and keeping the economy going in the first place.

There's only 20% of the workforce furloughed. It might feel like more and in some industries, it's pretty much everyone, but most people aren't.

Of those, not all will lose their jobs and as others have said, even on 80% pay, will be saving without commuting and childcare costs.

There will be more people who have added to their savings than lost. The question is, will most people spend that savings or save it if they are feeling insecure?

@Disgruntled is right - the people who were only just swimming before weren't the ones out spending.

Not one of my group of friends has been furloughed or made redundant and we aren't out spending money so we're all saving a fair bit and planning to book somewhere very nice as soon as we can.

As ever, we're all in different situations. No point getting angry.

I personally don’t think there’s a reason to be irritated or shocked. As others have said she’s not wrong, and neither are you. There are a lot of people who financially are not affected by this, and some are also better off for it, the same as there are also people who unfortunately have been greatly impacted.

She’s not completely unrealistic. Both sides are reality.

I do have more money than usual in my bank account because we're making lunch and dinner at home instead of us all buying it while we're out. It;s quite surprising how much we've saved.

Spending much less, although not scrimping and spending a lot on getting nice food. But we have had multiple conversations about how we are the privileged desk job, services industry, types, for whom not much has changed (yet) other than work location. We know that we are amongst the lucky ones and that it might not last. We are allocating the money saved to paying off debt mostly, in case our situation changes and we can't get rid of it in future.

Well neither of you are in the wrong.

We’re a family of 4 and I’m still working full time as is DH although his wage has reduced by 15%. We’re saving loads - our usual savings plus all the money we’d have spent on going out, clothes, weekends away, etc.

I can’t wait to actually be able to go out and spend money on something – anything except food! There’s just no point at the moment when we’re all stuck in not seeing anyone but as things gradually improve then yes, I think there will be a large number of people who want to spend money on themselves to make something of this awful situation. There won’t be any holidays for anyone this summer so I imagine money will be spent on other non essentials.

However I also understand that there are many people not in this situation who are trying to save every penny as they don’t know what the future will hold. DH is probably in the worst industry he could be in at the moment so we’re definitely worried about the upcoming months too.

Well she's right, for every person struggling lots of people are saving a lot of money.

I've had a 10% pay cut, but because I'm not spending anything except my food budget I've saved nearly £1k since lockdown began.

Sounds like you're actually just a bit bitter towards her. She was just saying what she thought would happen, and it likely will, for swathes of the population.

I donate to certain charities (NHS, food banks) but I'm not going to hand over the majority of the money I've earned...

Some people manage to live a charmed life and rarely encounter much stress or trouble while others struggle. I've never worked out if thats down to hard work or just luck, perhaps a bit of both. In the same way some will have money to spend when we come out of this but it will take the economy as a whole a while to recover. And of course all this money the government are borrowing will have to be paid back so taxes , of all kind, will increase across the board.

We certainly will be spending a lot once we are given the chance.

However, it doesn’t take a lot of intelligence to realise that a great many people won’t have this opportunity. She can’t see beyond her little bubble.

We're currently better off, but we won't be rushing off to the shops to buy frivolously. Long term job security is an issue for many; a lot of companies are going under and/or cutting huge swathes of staff.

Your sister lives in a privileged bubble if she's not concerned.