To think my Sister needs to get real

[jarhead123]

Video call with my Mum & sister on Saturday. Sister has very different life to me, works very hard in office job, as does her partner. No kids, plenty of money, big house etc.

We're doing OK, average house, 2 kids. (all just for background info!)

Anyway, during the call she says she thinks shops will be busy after 'all this' because everyone has so much money because we aren't going out/spending at the moment!

I was in shock. What about those people who have lost their jobs/are on furlough? She seems to think life is rosy because they have plenty of cash, but doesn't seem to realise a mile down the road we're all donating money to our school go fund me to help feed those vulnerable families etc.

Felt really irritated after the call!

I'm not surprised you're upset. Some people live in their own comfortable bubble but lack any social awareness. It's a very self absorbed existence.

But that is the case for many people? Not everyone, but many.

Those for whom income has continued unchanged but outgoings have been massively reduced will be looking forward to spending once the shops re-open.

What did she say when you pointed out to her that not everyone's so fortunate?

I think Eskarina is right - there are lots of people who are completely financially unaffected by this and will have lots of spare money at the end of this. But for many others this is a complete disaster.

I think maybe everyone needs to be a bit sensitive to other people’s situations at the moment.

I'm on disability benefits and have saved alot during lockdown due to not being bale to go out, not using taxis.

I've got it all saved up and am going on a shopping spree and for lunch when this is over.

It's something to hold onto and look forward to when things feel dark.

I have been saving money by not going out and just spending on food. However, I've also discovered I hate the shops! So, I will be continuing to avoid the city centre and do all my shopping online apart from clothes which still need trying on. I won't be going shopping crazy to bring back the high street. I will go to restaurants/cafes though!

Also, even those who don't have that much still usually have enough to buy a takeaway or shop for the odd item for their children. I know quite a few people on UC with children and they still go to the shops for toys/clothes and other stuff.

Why is is self-absorbed to comment that your current situation is fine and will probably remain so, yet self-aware to be one of those struggling?

there are lots of people who are completely financially unaffected by this and will have lots of spare money at the end of this

Yes this is effectively the pent up demand. People who were planning on buying things then couldn’t due to lock down. Or people who have saved because they did not do their normal spending Ie commute, coffees, socialising etc, and can now start to spend again.

The pent up demand is what helps the economy bounce back.

However on the flip side, there are people who have been financially damaged, and who will be financially damaged due to companies shutting down etc as they were unable to ride it out.

Not sure why you're so irritated. She's speaking from her point of view and it wasn't in the least bit offensive. Not to mention that she's right- in some cases people are better off financially when they deduct commuting, childcare and socialising costs. If you and your partner had been made redundant and were living off UC I could see why you might be slightly hurt. Is there any backstory?

Nearlyalmost50, unfortunately through a community group I'm involved with I know plenty of people who can't afford anything extra. There have been people relying on 2nd donations for the children's birthdays and about 100 Christmas meals were handed out along with presents donated. It's poverty like in the 80s when my mum chose between eating herself or heating the house.

Both of you are right. That’s how it’s always been but now it’s highlighted even more. I jolly well hope that she’s right and people do spend spend spend when shops reopen. If not, we are all in even worse trouble than covid itself. It would be nice though if whilst they are spending, they dontate dontate dontate too in terms of money, food and hygiene products to those who are not quite so lucky

But the majority of people haven't been furloughed or lost their jobs. They are in the minority. It might feel like it to you, but not for most. People will lose their jobs, but most of those will be lost later in the year/start of next year.

For many of those being furloughed, they are still get 80% of their wage, with no commuting costs or buying lunches out at work, will end up with the same each month, and now are not going out/having hair cut/having nails done/going for drinks. Many people are accidentally saving, or at most arent worse off. This is before you factor in families not having to pay for childcare.

There's the lack of holidays as well, lots of people haven't booked their summer break yet, but have saved/budgetted for it. That's not going to happen now, so there's going to be a temptation to say "sod it, if I can't spend this £1k on a holiday, I'll save half towards next year and then buy myself a new big TV." or something similar.

I think you are making the mistake you have accused her of, you assume your experience is the 'norm' but it's really not, although for those struggling, it's hideous.

Personally I'll be going on a big shopping spree as I've gone up a dress size and none of my summer workwear clothes fit, if we stay in lockdown to September I'll be the size of a brick outhouse

Your sister is almost certainly correct.

YABU. We’ve all got different perspectives on life according to our own experiences. Literally everyone I personally know is still working, and none of them are going out and spending money, so I get where your sister is coming from

Well shes right. For a lot of people that is true. I know it's true for us. We are around £400 better off a month as a household of 2 at the moment due to no commuting or spending socially. It would be closer to £600 but food seems to have jumped massively in price. My friends/peers and parents are all the same. I am aware this is definitely not the case for so many people. But the fact that some people are struggling doesnt make it a lie that a lot of people arent. We intend to spend when we're out of lockdown. First flight somewhere sunny we're on it, pub gardens, restaurants and cafe brunch we're there. I cant wait to go into a shop and try and buy clothes too. I hope a lot of people feel the same! Our economy will need a boost!

I don't think it's something to get annoyed about, what your sister says will undoubtedly be true for many but not all. People say things off the top of their head based on their own experiences, they mean no harm. Forget it.

Op can you explain your thought process that we will all have to give money to schools so they can help feed vulnerable families? This seems an unusual thought process and highly unlikely.

Going out spending could mean anything from window shopping, to browsing charity shops and markets, to high street shopping to going to Selfridges

I’m pretty sure lots of people will just be in the shops for the sake of it when lockdown is lifting proven by the queues now being seen at B&Q and similar places..

It depends doesn't it, a lot of my friends are in public sector jobs which are very secure, and they have managed to save a fair bit of money by saving on nursery, communiting and not going out. I have no doubt that when the shops reopen many of them will spend a lot of money. If you know mostly people in industries that have been hugely affected, then of course it might come as a surprise.

@peoplewhoannoyyou - some people, not a lot of people.

She’s right though. I’ll definitely be out spending when the shops open

She’s 100% correct.
So are you.
Just because she didn’t verbalise your point doesn’t mean she’s not aware of it.
I suspect your desire to paint her as some awful self absorbed person has more to do with your sense of disparity between your two lifestyles.

Why do we have to “get real” when suggesting there will be people out there who will have money to spend, but nobody is told to “get real” when suggesting some people won’t?

Can’t people understand this hasn’t impacted the finances of a whole lot of the country and is unlikely to?

People of the U.K. have been able to raise £27m watching some telly, £20m because some bloke walked in his garden, along with myriad other people raising money at the moment. The country isn’t on it’s knees. Some will be affected, some won’t. The government has provided support for the vast majority of people, to prevent them falling massively in to debt.

Is it so hard to believe there are plenty of people out there who will be just fine?

The queues at B&Q would suggest that the shops will be packed when this is over. That makes me nervous, as I think we’ll see infections shoot up again.