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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about rooms?

140 replies

CursesAndMagic · 03/05/2020 14:16

I currently have a 10 month old son who is in the box room with not much space for much else apart from cot wardrobe and a chair. My partner has a 9 year old who has a huge room with not much stuff in it and I’ve just found out I’m
Pregnant again. The house is a three bed so baby will share with us until 6 months but then I wanted the babies to share as they will be around a year and four months apart and same gender. Am I being unreasonable to expect the kids to switch rooms so I can get two cots in the bigger room which is currently my partners child’s? I think the younger ones should share and that’s impossible in a box room. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
CursesAndMagic · 03/05/2020 14:17

His child is at the tablets and switch stage so had tv, bed and desk and stuff built into bed which will fit in the box room we have measured.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 03/05/2020 14:18

Yanbu but work with her to let her decorate the new room and make it her own.

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 03/05/2020 14:19

Could you and your partner go into the box room?

Just thinking it’s a good way to make the 9 year old feel more pushed out than she already will!

Ravenclawgirl · 03/05/2020 14:19

Sounds perfectly reasonable. what does your dp think?

recycledteenager24 · 03/05/2020 14:19

nu but you might meet with resistance the older child,i would discuss calmly and let them choose their bedroom colour scheme, buy some new bedding, storage boxes etc.

SunshineDays2019 · 03/05/2020 14:20

What is your DP's suggestion?

Original poster
CursesAndMagic · 03/05/2020 14:20

Yeah we would anyway. She has just had her room decorated to be honest and new bed and everything put up and there’s already pen everywhere stains on walls she doesn’t have much pride in her stuff or room so it’s always a mess just think she will
Manage easier in small room but she keeps saying it’s not fair the babies will take her room. We’ve explained everything and tried to make it fun but she’s saying it’s not fair she has to have the tiny room.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 03/05/2020 14:20

YANBU , I would have thought most 9/10 yos would rather have their own small room than share with a baby / toddler so give him the option and he will probably take it .

Original poster
CursesAndMagic · 03/05/2020 14:21

He’s eventually going to get around to a loft conversion but for now it’s the rooms. And no we can’t go in the box room as a double bed and a next to the bed cot wouldn’t fit and being pregnant I don’t want to be squashing myself around.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 03/05/2020 14:21

Does she live with you?

GrumpyHoonMain · 03/05/2020 14:22

I think having a 6 month old in the same room as an 18 month old will be really difficult as you hit the teething / climbing out of cots stage respectively. If they were in the same room together they may end up constantly waking each other up. Suggest you wait and see before making any decisions that could potentially upset your SS.

Floralnomad · 03/05/2020 14:22

But the option isn’t the babies share the box room , the option is she has the box room or she shares with one or other of the babies , keeping the big room is not on the table .

StCharlotte · 03/05/2020 14:23

Could ysk her where she thinks the babies should go?

StCharlotte · 03/05/2020 14:23

*you ask

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 03/05/2020 14:24

I wanted the babies to share as they will be around a year and four months apart and same gender.

How do you know they’ll be the same sex if you’ve just found out you’re pregnant?

Washyourhandsyoufilthyanimal · 03/05/2020 14:25

Why is this a discussion? Yes of course she should go in the box room- yes of course she will say it’s unfair. Everyone just has to get on with it.

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 03/05/2020 14:26

You can always give her the choice. There are 3 children and to make it fair each of them get half a room space. Assuming the box room is half the size of a bigger room. So she shares with the toddler and has half of the big rook or has the box room to herself. If you've just found out you're pregnant again and the baby will be in with you for 6 months then you're talking about something that will happen more than a year away anyway so you could always wait a while before bringing it up again, you have a lot of time to sort it

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 03/05/2020 14:27

Your partner could crack on with the roofspace conversion now and have it done in a year. If you’ve only just found out your pregnant I’m guessing that will be plenty of time before baby is moving out of your bedroom.

GrumpyHoonMain · 03/05/2020 14:28

I also think girls around your SD’s should have their own rooms where possible and the box seems ideal for her. But this was raised to her far too early. You should have waited until the baby was here and bigged up her role as the big sister first before even suggesting it.

SuckingDownDarjeeling · 03/05/2020 14:38

Might not be the most popular opinion but I think you should give her the option to share her larger room with the older baby, or have her own room in the box room. I had the box room growing up as the eldest child and I made it my own little treasure trove, but I still remember how annoyed I felt about having to take it because my younger brother (by two years) cried until he got the larger room. My parents did their best to make the smaller room exciting for me and it worked. But having a choice, especially as she's approaching her teenage years, will be important for her. If you don't have the means or desire to move any time soon, she will be spending her teenage years in that room, so any choices she has over it will be important to her.

AJPTaylor · 03/05/2020 14:38

Yanbu but have caused yourself a headache by consulting with her and doing it too soon.
If baby is in with you for 6 months it's not a problem for another year/18 months. Don't discuss it again until nearer the time. She will see for herself that 2 Will not fit in the box room and therefore her choice is either sharing or her own smaller room. The incentive of a new bed etc and jobs a good un

Thefaceofboe · 03/05/2020 15:00

How do you know they’ll be the same sex if you’ve just found out you’re pregnant? why are you question the OP? Confused not really relevant is it.

Original poster
CursesAndMagic · 03/05/2020 15:04

Sharing isn’t an option. The babies will share. His daughter and a two year old boy And a then say 11 year old girl sharing is ridiculous. Makes sense the two babies would share and yes they may wake each other up but that’s what we will deal with when we get to it. we haven’t spoke to her in a way that this is 100% going to happen it was her that brought it up asking where baby would sleep as she can see already two babies can’t share a box room.

OP posts:
Original poster
CursesAndMagic · 03/05/2020 15:04

Just found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago. I’m 18 weeks now so had gender scan two weeks ago.

OP posts:
mbosnz · 03/05/2020 15:09

When I was 11 I was sharing with my four year old nephew, for a good wee while. Not exactly living the dream, but worked perfectly well for a short-term measure. Which this could well be, if you're doing a loft conversion.

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