AIBU about rooms?

[CursesAndMagic]

I currently have a 10 month old son who is in the box room with not much space for much else apart from cot wardrobe and a chair. My partner has a 9 year old who has a huge room with not much stuff in it and I’ve just found out I’m
Pregnant again. The house is a three bed so baby will share with us until 6 months but then I wanted the babies to share as they will be around a year and four months apart and same gender. Am I being unreasonable to expect the kids to switch rooms so I can get two cots in the bigger room which is currently my partners child’s? I think the younger ones should share and that’s impossible in a box room. AIBU?

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I think we all know it’s ridiculous for an 11 year old girl to share with a 2 year old boy. People are suggesting you use reverse psychology by giving her the choice between her own box room or a toddler. She’ll obviously “choose” her own room. Then it’s sorted.

Also. If she’s just had a room decorated and it’s already got loads of marks on it then she doesn’t exactly deserve the nice big room.

I agree give her the option of sharing with one of the babies or a small room to herself. I highly doubt she'd choose to share, and if she did she'd get fed up really quickly!

Do what you think is the best option, and the older child will just have to comply, no iffs or buts about anything. It's not as if you have an oldie days situation, where four children have to share a bed, two at the top, and two at the bottom !!

YANBU to have her in the box room and the babies in the second room. I can't see why this would be up for discussion.

I was waiting to see how long it would take for the suggestion that the OP and her partner have the box room. First page was a record.

Yeah I know. Imagine me and him and a baby in the box room. His daughter isn’t completely against idea she’s asking for shelves and things so she’s coming around I wanted the baby to be settled into room before brining baby in there too and obviously flooring and decorating the big room how I want it will take time so it does need to be thought about now. The loft will get done but we have a shower currently so need a bathroom fitting ASAP. So there are more important things coming up than the loft.

There really isn't anything to discuss. She has the box room. She's a child she doesn't get to dictate what happens.

She’s a child, just tell her where she’s going. Don’t allow her to rule the roost. She presumably doesn’t pay the mortgage/rent and bills so sleeps where she’s told.

If she was your dd not dsd she would be expected to do as she is told.. No difference here op.
But ime 2 very small people sharing a room WILL BE HELL...

I know it makes sense practically to switch, but emotionally it would be very unfair on the 9 year old as it could be seen as being pushed aside by the new family. I wouldn’t. Is there anywhere you could extend the house, into a garage or loft in a couple of years time?

@LolaSmiles

I know, right?! What is wrong with people!

This thread shows just how much the demographic of Mumsnet has changed.
I think YABU, I’d be worried your DSD will feel pushed aside but as a compromise you could promise her the loft or your old room when the loft is finished.

For the next few weekends, put your 10 month old in to sleep in her room ‘so she can get used to it’. When she gets absolutely fed up of it she’ll be asking to sleep in the box room! Simple!

Our two boys share with a similar age gap, they’ve always been in together. They really don’t wake each other up, they just get used to each other’s snoring etc. It’s fine.

Does she live there? Regardless she's 9 you are the adults fucking hell.

CallMeOnMyCell , what a load of rot , if it was a 9 yr old daughter ( not step daughter) and the parents went on to have 2 more children both boys the daughter would be told she was getting the box room so the boys would have to share . Step children should be treated no differently . This happens in numerous families where there are more children than bedrooms , she’s the lucky one that she gets a room to herself .

Why don't you just keep the baby in with you until the loft conversion is done? Seems an awful lot of room switching, plus you don't know what type of baby you will have yet, there may be reasons why baby has to/you will want them to be in your room for longer than 6 months.

Why are you worried about it now. Worry about it a year down the line

Yanbu

why are you question the OP?

Because most people find out they’re pregnant at a few weeks and it’s not possible to tell that early what sex the baby is. So I found it odd that OP knew this information.

confused not really relevant is it.

It is if OP was just guessing the sex of the baby due to being too early to know.

You don't have to move the baby at 6 months. My 7mo is still in the snuzpod. No way I'm getting out of bed 6 times a night.

Why not just get the loft conversion done? That way it's not a problem as all the children have their own room and you've got a year or so to sort it out.

Does she live full time with you?
Regardless she gets the smallest room as would any child with such an age difference.

Why is this a discussion? Yes of course she should go in the box room- yes of course she will say it’s unfair. Everyone just has to get on with it.

Absolutely this. You can acknowledge and be sympathetic and agree it's a shame, or unfair, but that's the way it's going to be.

I’d offer your sd a choice of share with the 2yo or have the box room to herself.