Entitled mothers

[MerryDeath]

mostly trying to avoid getting into it with the local mums on FB but this petition doing the rounds about extending mat leave, paid, by 3 months because of CV19.... AIBU to be incensed by the attitude of some new mothers?? not for the first time either. and i say this as someone on mat leave with a 4 month old.. i am mostly just thankful to be safe, with an income, in my home, with my baby. i couldn't give a flying frog about going to baby sensory. if that's your biggest concern then lucky you 🤯🤯

@Hampsand your response to the nurse is rude and unkind. Totally unnecessary and disgusting as a mother to shame another for being tired when you have probably never worked as hard as Her for five minutes of your life! You should be ashamed of yourself.

It's just my opinion everyone.

You don't have to thrash me and bash me until I change my opinion so it matches yours.

Three more months would do me the world of good so fingers crossed something comes of it

Op your mat leave has been different than what
You expected.

Sorry, so has a lot of people's. Now and historically.

Mine was shit. Not due to Covid19. It was shit 7 years ago.

I've had birthdays that were not as expected, Christmases, Halloween's, etc etc.

That is life.

Can people really not see that maternity leave during isolation would be a bit, well, isolating for a new mum?

I went to lots of groups during maternity leave with my DC and met some wonderful women who I've kept in touch with. I would really have struggled if I'd had to be on my own 24/7 with a colic-y, screaming baby for months on end. For anyone having their maternity leave now, I think it is such a shame that they will not have the same opportunity to make these connections with other mums.

When I returned to work, my parents looked after my son when I was back in the office. It was an easy transition for all concerned as I had seen my parents at least twice a week for the whole of my maternity leave period. Many people will not have seen grandparents/extended family during lockdown, so many people will not have had the opportunity to build up gradually to the change of caregiver which will make return to work transitions that much harder for parents, babies and those taking on childcare responsibilities when parents return to work.

when you have probably never worked as hard as Her for five minutes of your life! You should be ashamed of yourself.

Posts like this are very odd. No one knows what anyone else on Mumsnet actually does for a living, unless no one has ever worked as hard as a nurse I suppose. Hampsands could literally do any job in the world

My last SMP payment is mid may. I have had to write to my boss to explain I need to return to work as of 1st June. He told me to call back end of may to "discuss" sounds like I won't even have a job to go back to!

How am I supposed to interview childminders? Nurseries? I physically can't and I certainly will not be dumping my child at the first one who opens their doors.

I am hoping my boss will be able to furlough me so I can find suitable childcare arrangements.

The plan was to be doing KIT days two days a week on the lead up to going back for 5 days a week. That's gone out the window too.

It's not all about sensory baby classes . It's about having the opportunity to put things in place so you can be happy in returning to work.

But I am on the tail end of my maternity, not at the beginning. So my views and reasons may be different.

@birchgirl obv I'm sorry you had pnd, but your pnd, by your own comments, was before lockdown so by that logic should every woman diagnosed with pnd get extra months paid leave because it wasn't how they imagined? DS was in hospital for 12 weeks and in and out for 18 months, that wasn't how I imagined life either but it would be ridiculous to expect the Govt to keep paying me mat leave until I got 9 months of fun time

@Peanut55iwould support some additional provision for people in your circs who are ending their mat leave now

I will say though, I just read the petition. What a load of BULL!!!
I did not sign.

I have actually enjoyed doing baby sensory, baby yoga and rhyme time at home with my son. On YouTube ! I don't need 3 months off paid in order to do this. Morons.

@SleepingStandingUp - i wish I had used my kit days before now. Hey ho, we weren't to know.

It's such a stressful time for me right now. Fingers crossed my boss is understanding.

@Servers nothing odd about my post at all. I find it odd that you would c&p half of my post and completely take it out of context to give some dumbass reply. My point is the lack of empathy shown by Hampsands to a critical care Doctor that is concerned about going back to work and leaving Dh alone with twins whilst she works 24+ hour shifts with no access to help from family or friends was disgusting and rude. I Said what I said.

I've just started maternity leave and won't be signing it. To be honest I really haven't seen much support for it at all on social media. I think most people agree it's pretty ridiculous. I know over 197,000 have signed it, but in the grand scheme of things I don't think that's that many people really.

I would sign it, if it was unpaid. I want a bit of extra time from my job without the fear of losing it, so that my DD can readjust and settle into nursery. As it stands, she's going from complete lockdown with no one other than me and DH, to a room full of strangers for 5 days a week when I return to work. We had planned for her to start nursery part time for a month before. And if I could have that extra time to do it I would. But not paid. I don't get why they want it paid....

I didn't see the original post so not arsed, but it is odd. 24 + hour shifts doesn't sound safe though!

I said if the option was there I would take it.

There’s a difference between ‘taking it’ and actively lobbying for it. Did you sign the petition, yes or no?

Do you really think that your rights to that money trump those that will be left with no income for the short to medium term, mothers of premature babies who get no additional entitlement despite very difficult circumstances, NHS workers who are underpaid for the significant risks they’re taking right now?

People have a duty to do what’s right, not just promote their own interests all the time.

I'm going to go completely against the flow but I'm not sure why everyone is considering that the standards should be low instead of having higher standards for all of maternity leave. I only had smp when I had my 2 children and the money was rubbish. It forced me to stay in an abusive relationship until my children started school. I come from another European country where maternity pay is much shorter but is based on your salary so you don't have such a huge drop. I find it horrifying as a society to not aim for better social protection. The country will be on its knees but even more so if those mum can't find adequate childcare and end up leaving the workforce.
We bailed the banks after the crisis, why can't we help our new mums and prevent them from being exposed to the covid and potentially infect their new born babies.

@LeukaeLucky I’m also from another European country with a shorter but better paid maternity pay. Did a quick calculation on the minimum you’d get there, that is un employed or working 1 day a week and it’s DOUBLE the amount per month compared to the UK. Childcare here for 2 full days a week is also more than triple the cost of a full time nursery pace there with meals included, and a guaranteed space. It’s not a perfect country, but we are starting to think it sure beats the UK.

So sorry @LeukaeLucky I hit send too early but I’m so sorry you had to stay in an abuse relationship because of it, But i can see why it happens.

I agree @Grisen it's a shame to see so very little support amongst women and "entitled" being branded so easily.

Too much entitlement around whatever it is. This included. I've seen the arguments on FB over it. I've kept out as mine are grown and dont feel I am in a position to comment.

However I have had a row on another type of group over entitlement to holidays and the attitude is self absorbed, self obsessed entitlement with no care for anyone but themselves

Yanbu

I seen that the other day my cousins girlfriend shared it on FB wanting everyone to sign it I think it’s bloody stupid no baby cares about who they see or don’t see or about mum and baby groups at the end of the day they have been able to spend the 3 months with their baby which last time I checked was the whole point of maternity leave.

@Peanut55, same. I'm at the back end of my maternity leave. There are no nurseries accepting new children, and my childcare was going to be my retired mother so I hadn't even looked at nurseries pre-pandemic. My workplace flat out refuse to furlough on the grounds of needing childcare even after having the union involved, my partner and I are key workers, our employers are still expecting a ridiculous feat working from home (not to mention I've just had a year off so I've kind of forgotten some parts of my job because they change so rapidly, and I've not even got the chance to retrain before being thrown back into it), and I had just about managed with my PND until the stress of losing my job, being at the end of my overdraft, fighting an uphill battle with my workplace and genuinely just worrying for my life caused me to have a mental breakdown that 3 more months to recover would absolutely benefit me.

I think if you've just come onto your mat leave then this is kind of a non-issue. But for those of us who have just been chucked into the deep end with childcare, the prospect of being jobless, and rapidly declining mental health and even more rapidly declining bank balance I think a little bit of funding towards an extension for maternity leave would make all of the difference.

I think a little bit of funding towards an extension for maternity leave would make all of the difference.

And you think mothers who’ve already had a paid year off should be prioritised for money above ...

The vast numbers being made redundant struggling to feed their families and keep a roof over their heads?

Frontline workers risking their lives everyday, despite in many cases, quite low salaries?

Really?

@LaurieMarlow simple above all the furloughed workers who could be working because their businesses didn’t have to close but simply took advantage of the scheme. Maybe taking more unpaid leave would make these parents homeless. Why are furloughed workers above women on maternity leave? Furlough pays up to £2500, SMP is about £600 per month. Pay them SMP or even 80% of SMP if they are due to go back or have just finished their 9 months paid at least it’s something.

prevent them from being exposed to the covid and potentially infect their new born babies. 9 month old babies are not newborn, neither are 12 month old babies if you go 3 months unpaid. Where is the research that says they're more at risk at 9 months than 12 or 15? They're probably safer premobile because they can't go touching things. Perhaps we should pay anyone with a child under 5 to stay at home?

Peanut and Potato are perfect examples of how a decent petition could have been done on the basis of childcare provision.