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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Entitled mothers

314 replies

MerryDeath · 01/05/2020 10:43

mostly trying to avoid getting into it with the local mums on FB but this petition doing the rounds about extending mat leave, paid, by 3 months because of CV19.... AIBU to be incensed by the attitude of some new mothers?? not for the first time either. and i say this as someone on mat leave with a 4 month old.. i am mostly just thankful to be safe, with an income, in my home, with my baby. i couldn't give a flying frog about going to baby sensory. if that's your biggest concern then lucky you 🤯🤯

OP posts:
PlanDeRaccordement · 01/05/2020 10:45

YANBU

Candyfloss99 · 01/05/2020 10:46

They are selfish and ridiculous.

Lemonlady22 · 01/05/2020 10:46

It's not only mothers, a lot of people are entitled and they were before the pandemic...its just given them something else to be entitled about.

Original poster
MerryDeath · 01/05/2020 10:46

the comments on local fb post are all supportive who are these people

OP posts:
Ruddle91 · 01/05/2020 10:47

Fully paid whilst the country is on its knees.... they're fucking deluded.

BeardieWeirdie · 01/05/2020 10:48

Yeah I’ve just gotten into a row with local mums. Babies don’t need groups! And how does paying me extra compensate for them being closed? I obviously won’t say no thanks should HMRC send me a cheque in the post but what kind of entitled idiot thought of this in the first place?

Mylittlepony374 · 01/05/2020 10:48

YANBU. I'm embarrassed for them.

umpteentimes · 01/05/2020 10:49

So many people have babies as an attention seeking exercise and to extend they social circle. This is the problem - they are now hidden away with their baby at home and don't like it!!

LouiseTrees · 01/05/2020 10:51

Those signing it for that reason I agree YANBU but I suspect some may have signed it as they need time to arrange childcare when this is over and will be going back into 60 hour weeks in warehouses etc. I think we can’t tar everyone who signed it with the same brush. For the record, also on mat leave, not signed it.

Hampsand · 01/05/2020 10:51

There's a thread already, the consensus was yes self absorbed and rediculous.

Hampsand · 01/05/2020 10:52

as they need time to arrange childcare when this is over and will be going back into 60 hour weeks in warehouses

What difference does the extra 3 months make?

Emerald4512 · 01/05/2020 10:53

My god. Completely agree with you OP. There are people out there who have lost their jobs with a family and can't make ends meet. This might sound bad but it sounds like they're being selfish in trying to push for it.

bananaskinsnomnom · 01/05/2020 10:53

I think there’s also an element of, being on Mat leave is extra lovely when everyone you know is still at work - now it’s a privilege that’s been overrun by countless people being furloughed (therefore also not working) and working from home so some people feel that the specialness of being on leave has gone.

That’s not everyone, but sadly some of my Facebook friends have been discussing this and these are some of the reasons. One literally said “it’s just not fair this is meant to be my time off but loads of people are off and I can’t do anything so I think it’s perfectly reasonable that they give us longer and I can’t afford to be unpaid”

RedAzalea · 01/05/2020 10:54

Yes I’m also embarrassed for them

They are pissed off because they aren’t getting any Attention I guess

Original poster
MerryDeath · 01/05/2020 10:57

glad it's not just me.

maybe it's because I've also got my 3 yo at home so my mat leave isn't particularly blissful 🤪

OP posts:
NailsNeedDoing · 01/05/2020 10:58

Women do shit like this and then wonder why employers are often reluctant to employ them when they’re likely to have babies. It’s bonkers.

KitKatKit · 01/05/2020 10:59

YANBU. I'm pregnant at the moment and due in October. If we have a second wave whilst I'm on leave I'll suck it up! As long as you and your family are safe, who cares about bloody mat leave!

sallysparrow157 · 01/05/2020 11:00

It’s not just baby sensory and that kind of stuff though. I’m due back to work soon and my partner will stay at home with the babies. We live a long way from family anyway but have not been able to visit due to lockdown so the babies won’t be familiar with their grandparents, we haven’t really had the opportunity to build a good support network of other parents locally and my partner’s mental health is suffering anyway due to being stuck in the house so its going to be a lot more challenging when I go back to work than it would have been as the amount of support he has will be less than anticipated. Also I will potentially be looking after patients with covid when I go back so there’s that worry too. I’ve also had the stress that I may get called back to work early as a front line nhs worker which would leave my partner dealing with two babies with no support whatsoever.
The babies sleep has been awful over the last month too - I’m running on 2 hours sleep a night and we can’t pop over to a friends or family and ask them to babysit even for an hour or so so I can have a nap, so unless lockdown finishes in the next few weeks or the babies suddenly decide that sleep is something they may consider occasionally, I’m going to go back to work completely exhausted.
I don’t for a minute expect that I actually will get an extra 3 months mat leave on full pay but the last few weeks have been considerably harder than the rest of my mat leave and missing out on baby sensory hasn’t really figured in that! So if I was given some extra leave or something I would grab it with both hands to make our lives as a family just that little bit easier and would not consider myself entitled for doing so.

marble11 · 01/05/2020 11:02

I just read some of the comments on FB. The country will be on its knees after this. Paying an extra 3 months so Mummy can take baby to happy clappy baby groups and to socialise with other family is bollocks. They can have it unpaid if they like.

Moomin12345 · 01/05/2020 11:02

Yeah, it's ridiculous. I recall someone on here starting a thread about the tragedy of having a toddler ruin her maternity leave with his presence Hmm because apparently maternity leave should be a time of luxury and spending time only with the youngest child.

Floatyboat · 01/05/2020 11:03

Yanbu. It's making a mockery of the actual reasons maternity leave rights are so important.

pocketem · 01/05/2020 11:05

Really ridiculous. It's not for the baby's benefit, it's for the mums that want to be able to socialise at baby groups etc. Yes they've missed out but in the big scheme of things considering the financial and social losses so many people have been facing, it's nothing

Hampsand · 01/05/2020 11:06

But no one knows when lockdown will end, so an extra thing to do nice stuff you didn't have the chance to do isnt guaranteed anyway. Most people don't feel ready to go back, and are surviving on a slither of sleep.

Hoppinggreen · 01/05/2020 11:09

I had PND and hated my Mat leave, now I’m ok should I get another go?
Dd is 15 but even so

Wiaa · 01/05/2020 11:10

Yanbu, it's very me me me. My maternity leave actually ends today I've refused the many attempts to sign the bloody petition.

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